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| − | The name printed on my card is Alex Kohanski. Most people don't call me that. I have a(n incomplete) list of things people call me:
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| − | * Kohanski
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| − | * Bitchface Kobitchface
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| − | * Bitchface
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| − | * Skiski
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| − | * Kopantski
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| − | * Skank
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| − | * Hokanski
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| − | * Axel Hokanski
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| − | * Hanskiko
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| − | * The Manski Kohanski
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| − | * The Manski
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| − | * The Womanski
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| − | * Skankobitch
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| − | * Hair
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| − | * Alekski Kohanski
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| − | * Xela Isknahok
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| − | * Riff Raff
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| − | * Scott
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| − | * Matt
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| − | * The Gadfly of Love
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| − | * Yoda
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| − | * Lampshade
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| − | I've taken some classes at CTY:
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| − | LAT1.LAN.08.1
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| − | GRK1.LAN.09.1
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| − | ETYM.LAN.09.2
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| − | WRT3.B.LAN.10.1
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| − | LOGC.C.LAN.10.2
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| − |
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| − | ==The Notebook of Horrible Ideas==
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| − | I decided to keep a notebook of horrible ideas during 10.2. Here they are. Ideas with a + have been done to my knowledge.
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| − | - Say "derp" when you orgasm ~Marnie<br>
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| − | + This notebook<br>
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| − | + Putting bales of hay in front of gravel ~F&M<br>
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| − | - Climbing the Scrabble ~Jonah<br>
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| − | + Humanities courses ~Everyone who's taken a math course<br>
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| − | + Driving to Canada during intersession ~Eloise<br>
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| − | + Driving to Canada ~Jonah<br>
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| − | + Canada ~Jonah
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| − | + Protection
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| − | + "Erik, this is my brother." ~Alex Pressman
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| − | - Safety first
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| − | + Filling someone's hat with vaseline
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| − | - "I'm so awesome, I can make out with my girlfriend anywhere!" ~RA Sam
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| − | - Drinking 4 Red Bulls and playing ultimate in 105 degree weather ~RA Sam
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| − | - Ripping the top off an Axe can, putting it in front of you, and not moving ~RA Sam
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| − | - "Enter cafeteria; go apeshit" ~Graeme
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| − | - "Adderall: Can't pass without it!" ~Ad in bathroom
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| − | - Spray painting a fenced-in bench gold
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| − | - Getting highlights in your pubic hair ~Erik
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| − | + PDA rules
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| − | + Ordered society ~Bitchface
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| − | - Women discussing their birth canals ~Graeme
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| − | - RHPS as a first date ~Ramsey
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| − | - Racing golf carts on the quad
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| − | - Convincing your instructor you get a break every hour
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| − | - Opening an umbrella directly in front of someone ~Jonah
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| − | - Giving people who are imprisoned for life WMDs ~Torrence
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| − | + Discussing whether you can know that you know anything
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| − | - 5 second rule on Schnader porch ~Declan
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| − | - Going farther into a guy's anus to try to impregnate him ~Erik
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| − | + "On a scale of edgy to ironic, where's the Holocaust?"
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| − | - Hump a stump ~Silver
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| − | - Switching all the students in one class with the students in another without the teachers noticing
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| − | + End a story with "And then I thought about child molestation" ~Declan
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| − | - Blammo with guns
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| − | + Slapping your teacher across the face ~Justine
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| − | + Taping pizza to a door and leaving it there ~Justine
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| − | - Sistery bondage ~Bitchface
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| − | - Telling your girlfriend that if wiffleball were a person you'd break up with her ~Graeme
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| − | - When you say "orgasm", derp ~Jonah
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| − | - Sitting on a bed totally naked drinking Strawberry Kiwi Lemonade and masturbating vigorously ~Jonah
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| − | - Doing the above in front of people ~Bitchface
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| − | + Running into someone's room, jumping into the trash can, and saying "It's funny because I'm in the trash!" ~Theo
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| − | + Running into someone's room, stealing something, and running out screaming "Ahahaha! Yes!" ~Theo
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| − | - "There are scissors if you need to open the hole more."
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| − | + Interracial lesbian poop porn ~Literotica
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| − | - Eating breasted shits ~Graeme/Bitchface
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| − | - Shitfucking (your son's) monster meat ~Literotica
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| − | - Read teh idea 3 above this while having sex ~Graeme
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| − | - 31 Dogs in a Room as a movie ~Jonah
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| − | - A play about the dichotomy between unbroken and broken glass ~Ariel
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| − | - EpiSpear ~Graeme
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| − | - EpiTrident ~Graeme
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| − | - Naming your child Kotel ~Declan/Bitchface
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| − | - Placing Mentos into 3 bottles of soda in the middle of the quad successfully ~Jonah
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| − | - Preschool basketball ~Graeme
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| − | + Playing Pokemon every day but never leaving Pallet Town ~Jonah
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| − | - A reality show called "God Dammit, Charlene!" ~Jonah/Kleo
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| − | + Awkward question squad ~Lilly/Erik
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| − | - Breaking the PDF rules ~Sam Fomon
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| − | + Triple crotch-shot ~Bitchface/Noah
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| − | - Rotten asscheeks ~Noah
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| − | + Becoming a master baiter ~Ramsey
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| − | - Getting a masters degree in baiting ~Ramsey
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| − | - Covering your jaundice with more jaundice ~Graeme
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| − | - Long-distance makeout ~Bitchface/Noah
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| − | + Not blinking as a pasttime ~Tess
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| − | - A water fountain/urinal ~Bitchface
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| − | - Eating this book ~Tess
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| − | - Putting a metal rod in your penis ~Ramsey
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| − | - Grinding the gay out of you ~Sam Fomon
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| − | - Being a masturbating 5th wheel ~Bitchface/Noah
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| − | + Chewing on pens without pen cases ~Alec
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| − | - Inhaling flaming dicks
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| − | - Stabbing each other in the foot with heels repeatedly ~Kris
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| − | - Duct taping your penis to your leg and getting a boner ~Noah
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| − | - Making a store called "A Store" ~Bitchface
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| − | - Losing all control of your penis ~Gleb
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| − | - Having a penis the size of a million penises including itself ~Dennis/Bitchface
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| − | - Coming bricks ~Graeme
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| − | - "...like the cool people at 4chan do." ~Gleb
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