Dr. Dan Allen

D.A. IS A BAUSS.

Most commonly known as D.A. Currently teacher of the Russian history class only avalible at Carlisle, session one. He was a Colonel in the Air Force for 30+ years. He was a military attache in Czechoslovakia during the Cold War. While expeditioning in the U.S.S.R. he helped numerous citizens in the toiletry department which was very rare in there at the time. Not even Putin himself went against D.A without a squad of armed KGB officers. He was a hero to many, including us. He is definitely the wisest, yet coolest and most beloved. The only was to describe him is simply...... Boss.

Chuck Norris checks under his bed for D.A.

D.A. was told about stairs before Homestuck

He is the grandpa everyone wants.

His demeanor is simply described as not giving a fudge. But, don't get me wrong, he will jump and possibly kill any attempted bullying. In addition, D.A. always manages to shut down that one annoying kid, the one that seems to be in every class. D.A. can also produce miracles, he makes Russian History extremely interesting and valuable. This is simply done by him relating every "bland" scenario, I use bland very loosely since Russian History is anything but, to something all our "dirty teenage minds" can understand. Catherine the "Great" *wink wink nudge nudge*

Sadly, Dr. Dan Allen retired after CAR 13.1. Russian History will no longer be offered as a course.

Quotes and Jokes

Popular sayings:

Dog on a junebug

Best thing since sliced bread

You can carry that around in your hip pocket

Rip telephone books in two

You're gonna walk out of here bald-headed because if you don't stop talking, I'll pull your hair out

(Insert student name here) just pointed out a hole you could drive tanks through

Here's some kind of possum that's coming out of the wild

Stalin was a dedicated to his toenails communist

You can put that in your cob pipe and smoke it

Kate the Great

Who shot Willy?

Squeezaroni

Smarter than a barn full of owls

Can be used for anything, but sitting on (Bayonets)

Wishy Washy Charlie Brown

What is it gotta do with price of cheese in China?

(name varies per year), shut up.

Prove it, or shut it.

Other Quotes

You'll wake up in your pajamas in bed dead if you don't do the reading.

(Insert name of incompetent person) wasn't playing with a full deck.

I don't understand why everyone's fussing over a highschool dropout (Edward Snowden).

Jokes

DA does not have Chuck Norris' blood, Chuck Norris has DA's blood.

In Soviet Russia you do not look out for police, you look out for DA.

DA was so scary, Putin hid behind a bush.

How many soldiers does it take to take down DA? The world may never know.

(almost all these jokes were made by some kid with terrible humor) ... HENRY!!!!! (in Benson from Regular Show voice) :) .