Methamphetamine Birds

Methamphetamine Birds

Methamphetamine Birds are radioactive birds native to Sustown with high quantities of meth, Antibabypillen, gunpowder, Uranium-235, your father's ashes, Radon, and trace amounts of John F. Kennedy. This concept was first encountered in LAN.22.1, in the first game of Mafia held there.

Author's Note: This is not a joke article, nor is it a prank. We spent too much fucking time on this so please don't delete this. This is not yet a CTY Tradition, but we would like for it to stay here. We wrote this entry at 12:15 am while high on social interaction, snorted Claritin, and Tide Pods. We also would like to let you know that as of the time of writing this, this is still a possibility, but not yet a tradition. We would deeply appreciate any support that you would like to provide!

Origin

These birds originated during a game of Mafia when Daniel [last name unknown] who identified as a baker put a mix of gunpowder and ketamine in his fresh bread and ate some of it and died because he was high (the Mafia killed him). From his corpse rose the first Methamphetamine Birds (spooky background and bird noises), originally seagulls, mutated after consumption of the ketamine-methamphetamine bread crumbs.

Later in the game, the Mafia used bread crumbs and other baked goods to lure the Methamphetamine Birds to their target. This strategy was extremely effective as the Mafia won both rounds.

The following members are considered and validated as the original members of the game where the Methamphetamine Birds were born:

OG Storyteller (Tall God):

Atticus

1st Gen OG Players:

Bin (Ben)

Harper

DANIEL

Evan

Ian

Rhys

2nd Gen OG Players:

Aiden

Nathanielieresmogrofobombsn (nuh-THAN-yull-EAR-e-smog-rof-BOMB-SN) (aka nate)

Oliver

3rd Gen:

Zachary

Subsequent Usage

The Mafia subsequently uses these ketamine-methamphetamine bread crumbs to entice the Methamphetamine birds (now referred to colloquially as Methamphetabirds / Methamphetagulls / Meth Gulls / Ketamine Birds / biRbs / Methqmphetagulls / and variations) entice these Methamphetabirds to commit crimes, most likely to be murder, but will also engage in sexual assault and battery, petty theft, arson, and sometimes play Royal Recruit decks.

Evolution

As the mutations from the Uranium-235 decay and Primordial Søøpe (old animal piss) present in deez nuts the compound of ketamine-methamphetamine consumed by the biRbs, the Methqmphetagulls are constantly in a state of change and priming, also forced by the often drastic shifts in their current environment (ie. cannabis oil brought upon a plane). Mutations can also occur spontaneously and at random. Here is a list of the following evolutions the Oiseaux de méthamphétamine have gone under, in chronological order:

• M-0: Cognitogenesis - This mutation occurred when regular birds such as seagulls had sexual intercourse with your mother ate the bread that killed the baker in the first game. This also was the mutation that allowed for the subsequent mutations to take place.

• M-1: Blurb - This mutation also occurred in the game following the one that M-0 took place in. A lawyer was sentenced to death by the townsfolk, and was tied to a table outside surrounded by bread crumbs. Immediately, the Awọn ẹiyẹ Methamphetamine swarmed the hapless lawyer and reduced him to nothing. As a return gift, the Methimfetameen chim developed higher sentience and in return for their assumed 'gift', left behind a pile of bagels (their fallen comrades back in the life of a seagull; when a seagull strays from the sea and encounters a bay, they will assume the form of a bagel; this transformation is irreversible, and many who undertake it are considered lost by their family and friends). In addition to sentience, the Aves de Metanfetamina developed the ability to traverse over bays, allowing them to retrieve their fallen comrades now in bagel form.

• M-2: They ate my FUCKING baguette! - J'ai eu des relations sexuelles avec votre parente plusieurs fois.

• M-3: Eroborneaves Gigachades - This mutation occurred in Gen 2, as a result of an incident decreed by Tall God in order to keep a character from leaving Sustown. This incident was sparked by an unrelated passenger sneaking 169% Undiluted High-as-a-kite Cannabis Oil & Extra Croutons onboard a flight, attracting Methathatwhatshesaidabirdes to attack the passenger and cumsuming the 169% Undiluted High-as-a-kite Cannabis Oil & Extra Croutons and further developing drastic size increases, after which all of the planes at the airport were consumed by the giant Methayuritardedbirds, now known in local slang as Eroborneaves Gigachades, or in scientific terms, big-ass birds.

• M-4: They had sex, now there's more - They chill wit inbreeding, sustown in Alabama or some shit idk. Unfortunately for many young children (bird or nonavian).

• M-5: One more eye - It is what it is. If you don't understand this one, why are you in CTY, bozo?

• M-6: They serve their Mastur... - In the Gen 2 game, the Mafia decided to kill a poor rice farmer, the player by the name of Nathanielieresmogrofobombsn (nuh-THAN-yull-EAR-e-smog-rof-BOMB-SN) (aka nate), by spearing him in his own fields. The blood of the poor, Asian, rice farmer was so full of narcotic rice that the methBURRRBS dive-bombed his body and took it to further construction of the Mother Wing (the middle ball). Immediately after the dive-bombing, the methBURRRRBS's body exploded into radioactive goo equal to the color and consistency of human semen, chopstick-looking bones, and a rice hat. This explosion also ionized the surrounding fields and the store your daddy (mmm) went to get milk from, and the rice takes on the quality that of any person consuming it will immediately defecate a methabuRRRRRRB. This effect is also true for the converse, if one consumes a methbuRRRRRRRB, one will immediately shit out grains of rice equal to the amount of brain cells. The only exception to this rule is the All-Father, The Creator Parent of thy Magnificent burbz, Daniel [last name unknown]. When he consumes either a methbuRRRRRRRRB or rice, someone random will defecate or secrete both items.

• M-7: Herpeez Nuts - This mutation also occurred in Gen 2. Somehow, due to obviously and totally unforeseen and random circumstances not the result of any human interaction (especially of the sexual nature or beastiality), the majority of the moothimfitimeeen birdeez nuts contracted Herpes (don't ask why I know this please). Crucially Important Note: one of the authors at the time of writing asked: "why the hell does my ass itch?"

• M-8: Planning for stage 2 - They developed 3 more testicles. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk!

• M-9: FUCKING RUN FOR YOUR GODDAMN LI... - theyve taken over everything nothing is right people are dying everywhere sustown is done for i fucked your mom for the last time that big ones looking at me thats not good help me help me help me help dBS93e9UH3BeRFSOI4z3E_HnSDuKJEtJHEsKMNSH (no comment kneaded)

• M-XK: The Mother Wing - [INFORMATION EXPUNGED]

How to Use/Play

talk about strats to implement meth biRbs in game with other play styles Cumming soon (maybe)

How to Summon

Get 4+ people to chant around a central sacrifice, and have the people involved follow the following script:

Central Sacrifice: Let the BIRD SEX CUMMENCE! (repeated)

Surrounding Members(?): (chanted) BOZO! BOZO!

At this time, you may play Mafia with the birbados drugadictus as the central cause of death. This ritual must be repeated every time a game of Mafia opens with the desire to include Sustown and Co. ™ ℠ ® ©. We repeat: EVERY TIME! (unless Tall God is present, then chat is ignored)

The Mother Wing and the Herald of the Catalyst

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Please contact administration if you would like to Redacted Redacted Redacted Redacted Redacted. Have a nice day! 😊

Current Announcement

This article is not yet finished, please check back as we are stiłłłłł in the proceßßßßß of spying on our enemies gathering information for this purpose.

Other Links

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2736803/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQXUd4Fku2E