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| − | Alright, let’s dive into this... this tragic representation of your CTY experience. Where to begin? Oh, I know! Let’s start with the opening paragraph, which attempts to set the stage as some sort of introspective masterpiece but ends up reading like a teen diary entry from a very emotionally confused kid. You open with, “I’m sitting in an old classroom, its strong smell evoking memories of museums and aging buildings…” Okay, I get it, you’re deep and in touch with your surroundings. But who actively thinks about the smell of an old classroom? It’s dusty, not nostalgic. Just admit that you were probably bored, and move on. 😬
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| − | Next, you have the audacity to describe your writing like it's a profound act of emotional expression: "My quick scrawl, small and slanted, is my heart, spilled out on paper." 😒 Wow. Are you trying to write a song lyric? You’re in a classroom, writing an essay—not confessing your undying love in a gothic novel. Calm down.
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| − | Then we get to the real meat of this... “the second dance.” Which is honestly where I wanted to stop reading. You describe it like it's the climax of The Godfather—but it's just a dance at a nerd camp. "We are the awkward circle." No. Really? A group of teens awkwardly standing around at a dance? Groundbreaking stuff here, truly. 🙄 It’s the most predictable scenario possible: kids pretending to have fun in a setting they don’t actually enjoy. Is there really anything more cliché than that?
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| − | And the line, “We are all connected. It didn’t matter if we were between two strangers, friends, or classmates,” is the kind of attempt at deep connection that only happens when you’re crammed in a small room with too much sugar and too little self-awareness. 🙄
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| − | Let's talk about the ramen dinner scene next. The sheer audacity of eating ramen with your hands and then saying, “Because we’re cool like that.” Please. If your friends were half as cool as you think they are, they wouldn’t need to be eating noodles like cavemen. The fact that you included this is nothing short of... sad. The “I wouldn’t want to use those spoons” line? A masterpiece of juvenile humor. But let’s be real, you probably just couldn’t find utensils, so you tried to make it sound like some edgy decision to stand out.
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| − | Now, onto the most confusing part of this entire essay: the "American Pie" fiasco. You describe this as if it were the apex of your experience, but let’s not kid ourselves—this whole thing reads like a bad high school music video. Jumping around, screaming lyrics you can’t even hear, yelling things like "SEX SEX SEX" with the staff joining in? Is this a camp or a juvenile delinquent convention? I don’t think this is the wholesome bonding moment you think it is. It’s just kids being loud and obnoxious because that’s what people do when they’re trying way too hard to be memorable.
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| − | Finally, the way you ended this whole journey is just sad. You're crying over a summer camp like it's the end of the world. “I spill tears. Each one of those tears represents happiness, sorrow, and realization…” Good grief. It’s a camp, not a cult retreat. I’m all for feeling emotions, but come on. It’s not that deep. You have more angst over leaving this place than I’ve seen in a soap opera.
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| − | In the final stretch, you reflect on how CTY "eats away at your mind." Yeah, no kidding. Clearly, because you can’t stop talking about it. It’s almost like you’re trying to be a hipster about the whole thing, over-romanticizing the experience to the point where it’s unbearable to read. You can’t even describe it—“It’s physically impossible,” you say—yet, you spend eight paragraphs doing it. 🙃
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| − | This whole thing reeks of high school melodrama and an attempt to inflate what was likely a fun but forgettable summer into the most monumental event of your life. It wasn’t. You spent weeks in a camp, had some laughs, learned some things, and then left. That’s it. So stop pretending this was some spiritual awakening.
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| − | In conclusion, if CTY was the greatest thing that ever happened to you, I feel sorry for you. Seriously, take a breath and enjoy life outside the "vortex" you so dramatically describe. Get a grip. 😑
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