Methamphetamine Birds

Methamphetamine Birds

Methamphetamine Birds are radioactive birds native to Sustown with high quantities of meth, Antibabypillen, gunpowder, Uranium-235, your father's ashes, Radon, and trace amounts of John F. Kennedy. This concept was first encountered in LAN.22.1, in the first game of Mafia held there.

Author's Note

This is not a joke article, nor is it a prank. We spent too much fucking time on this so please don't delete this. This is not yet a CTY Tradition, but we would like for it to stay here. We wrote this entry at 12:15 am while high on social interaction, snorted Claritin, SKL, and Tide Pods. We also would like to let you know that as of the time of writing this, this is still a possibility, but not yet a tradition. We would deeply appreciate any support that you would like to provide!

We are aware that our language seem erratic, arrogant, and completely chaotic, but this is a topic we are extremely passionate about. This article is mostly lore, and everything that took place did so in the context of a Mafia game.

Origin

These birds originated during a game of Mafia when Daniel Meza who identified as a baker put a mix of gunpowder and ketamine in his fresh bread and ate some of it and died because he was high (the Mafia killed him). From his corpse rose the first Methamphetamine Birds (spooky background and bird noises), originally seagulls, mutated after consumption of the ketamine-methamphetamine bread crumbs.

Later in the game, the Mafia used bread crumbs and other baked goods to lure the Methamphetamine Birds to their target. This strategy was extremely effective as the Mafia won both rounds.

The following members are considered and validated as the original members of the game where the Methamphetamine Birds were born:

OG Storyteller (Tall God):

Atticus

1st Gen OG Players:

Bin (Ben)

Harper

DANIEL MEZA

Evan

Ian

Rhys Jarvis

2nd Gen OG Players:

Aiden

Nathanielieresmogrofobombsn (nuh-THAN-yull-EAR-e-smog-rof-BOMB-SN) (aka nate)

Oliver

3rd Gen:

Zachary

Subsequent Usage

The Mafia subsequently uses these ketamine-methamphetamine bread crumbs to entice the Methamphetamine birds (now referred to colloquially as Methamphetabirds / Methamphetagulls / Meth Gulls / Ketamine Birds / biRbs / Methqmphetagulls / and variations) entice these Methamphetabirds to commit crimes, most likely to be murder, but will also engage in sexual assault and battery, petty theft, arson, and sometimes play Royal Recruit decks.

Evolution

As the mutations from the Uranium-235 decay and Primordial Søøpe (old animal piss) present in deez nuts the compound of ketamine-methamphetamine consumed by the biRbs, the Methqmphetagulls are constantly in a state of change and priming, also forced by the often drastic shifts in their current environment (ie. cannabis oil brought upon a plane). Mutations can also occur spontaneously and at random. Here is a list of the following evolutions the Oiseaux de méthamphétamine have gone under, in chronological order:

• M-0: Cognitogenesis - This mutation occurred when regular birds such as seagulls had sexual intercourse with your mother ate the bread that killed the baker in the first game. This also was the mutation that allowed for the subsequent mutations to take place.

• M-1: Blurb - This mutation also occurred in the game following the one that M-0 took place in. A lawyer was sentenced to death by the townsfolk, and was tied to a table outside surrounded by bread crumbs. Immediately, the Awọn ẹiyẹ Methamphetamine swarmed the hapless lawyer and reduced him to nothing. As a return gift, the Methimfetameen chim developed higher sentience and in return for their assumed 'gift', left behind a pile of bagels (their fallen comrades back in the life of a seagull; when a seagull strays from the sea and encounters a bay, they will assume the form of a bagel; this transformation is irreversible, and many who undertake it are considered lost by their family and friends). In addition to sentience, the Aves de Metanfetamina developed the ability to traverse over bays, allowing them to retrieve their fallen comrades now in bagel form.

• M-2: They ate my FUCKING baguette! - J'ai eu des relations sexuelles avec votre parente plusieurs fois.

• M-3: Eroborneaves Gigachades - This mutation occurred in Gen 2, as a result of an incident decreed by Tall God in order to keep a character from leaving Sustown. This incident was sparked by an unrelated passenger sneaking 169% Undiluted High-as-a-kite Cannabis Oil & Extra Croutons onboard a flight, attracting Methathatwhatshesaidabirdes to attack the passenger and cumsuming the 169% Undiluted High-as-a-kite Cannabis Oil & Extra Croutons and further developing drastic size increases, after which all of the planes at the airport were consumed by the giant Methayuritardedbirds, now known in local slang as Eroborneaves Gigachades, or in scientific terms, big-ass birds.

• M-4: They had sex, now there's more - They chill wit inbreeding, sustown in Alabama or some shit idk. Unfortunately for many young children (bird or nonavian).

• M-5: One more eye - It is what it is. If you don't understand this one, why are you in CTY, bozo?

• M-6: They serve their Mastur... - In the Gen 2 game, the Mafia decided to kill a poor rice farmer, the player by the name of Nathanielieresmogrofobombsn (nuh-THAN-yull-EAR-e-smog-rof-BOMB-SN) (aka nate), by spearing him in his own fields. The blood of the poor, Asian, rice farmer was so full of narcotic rice that the methBURRRBS dive-bombed his body and took it to further construction of the Mother Wing (the middle ball). Immediately after the dive-bombing, the methBURRRRBS's body exploded into radioactive goo equal to the color and consistency of human semen, chopstick-looking bones, and a rice hat. This explosion also ionized the surrounding fields and the store your daddy (mmm) went to get milk from, and the rice takes on the quality that of any person consuming it will immediately defecate a methabuRRRRRRB. This effect is also true for the converse, if one consumes a methbuRRRRRRRB, one will immediately shit out grains of rice equal to the amount of brain cells. The only exception to this rule is the All-Father, The Creator Parent of thy Magnificent burbz, Daniel [last name unknown]. When he consumes either a methbuRRRRRRRRB or rice, someone random will defecate or secrete both items.

• M-7: Herpeez Nuts - This mutation also occurred in Gen 2. Somehow, due to obviously and totally unforeseen and random circumstances not the result of any human interaction (especially of the sexual nature or beastiality), the majority of the moothimfitimeeen birdeez nuts contracted Herpes (don't ask why I know this please). Crucially Important Note: one of the authors at the time of writing asked: "why the hell does my ass itch?"

• M-8: Planning for stage 2 - They developed 3 more testicles. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk!

• M-9: FUCKING RUN FOR YOUR GODDAMN LI... - theyve taken over everything nothing is right people are dying everywhere sustown is done for i fucked your mom for the last time that big ones looking at me thats not good help me help me help me help dBS93e9UH3BeRFSOI4z3E_HnSDuKJEtJHEsKMNSH (no comment kneaded)

• M-XK: The Mother Wing - [INFORMATION EXPUNGED]

How to Use/Play

talk about strats to implement meth biRbs in game with other play styles Cumming soon (maybe)

As all variations of games go, it can be difficult to weave the intricacy of the Methamphetamine Birds into one's game of Mafia. However, we can provide you with information on how to implement the Methamphetamine Birds into your game.

Weaving in the Birds

Considering the seeming omnipotence of these Methamphetamine Birds, they are only birds and have limitations. One of which is the deaths, which can seem redundant and boring if one does not come up with creative assassination methods involving these Meth Birds. Here is a list of the deaths that have been observed. These can be a baseline to your own unique deaths, or you can reuse them (we don't care). Remember that the Mafia is always behind these murders.

• Pecked to death
• Fell from a high place because picked up
• Chopped up by Harper's cutting machine (and subsequently becoming Rhys's Pieces if you are Rhys)
• Viewing a memetic kill agent carved by the birds on a tree
• Strafed by F150s piloted by the birds that were conveniently hidden in Rhys's (Reese's) Pieces

Another thing to remember that is applicable to all variations/cults in any Mafia game is to reference past events (such as the making of Rhys's Pieces and the presence of F150s inside Rhys's Pieces).

New Roles

BunkerBaker: The BunkerBaker is a role that is best suited to Daniel Meza, and the role is passed to people the same way as a Mafia member or a Doctor if Daniel is not present. When Daniel is present, BunkerBaker Daniel is the owner of the apocalypse bunker, and has the right to let people in or kick people out whenever he wants. This role is only publicly known if Daniel is the BunkerBaker. In the instance that Daniel is not present, the BunkerBaker role is chosen the same way as a Mafia member or a Doctor, for example. The BunkerBaker's night action is to allow up to one person per night to be in the bunker. The Narrator will tap the member on the head and announce that the following member has been allowed a bunker keycard. It is possible for the BunkerBaker to allow himself, although he is already allowed into the bunker upon inception, to dispel suspicion. The walls of the bunker are made of lead, Narcaine, Stainless Steel, and has a metal frame and held together by 1 foot nails shaped like dildos. These walls are made to stop the Methamphetabirdpocalypse.

Herald of the Catalyst: The Herald of the Catalyst is probably one of the most intricate and lore-bound roles. The Herald is one who might trigger the Methamphetabirdpocalyse. This role is chosen like a Jester and a Pie Man, at the beginning of the game. The Herald is a normal citizen with no night action, until two (variations might include three or even four) actions are imposed on it, such as a Mafia hit, a Sheriff inspect, or a Pie Man pie, the Herald will trigger the Methamphetabirdpocalypse around them. If the game is official, and the Herald pops off outside, then the next few official games will be held in an apocalyptic setting. If the Herald pops off outside, then everyone not inside the bunker is dead immediately. If the Herald is let inside the bunker, however, the world will be saved at the expense of anyone inside the bunker with the Herald. This is difficult to achieve, however, as the role of the Herald is to be kept secret, and the Herald is a normal citizen otherwise.

Implementing Old Roles

When playing the Methamphetamine Birds variation, the following changes are made to these roles:

Mafia: The Mafia must use Methamphetamine Birds as the majority of their kills. Their night action counts towards the Herald of the Catalyst.

Sheriff: Their night action counts towards the Herald of the Catalyst.

Doctor: Their night action counts towards the Herald of the Catalyst.

Bomber: Their night action counts towards the Herald of the Catalyst.

Jester/Joker: No change.

Pie Man: Their night action counts towards the Herald of the Catalyst.

How to Summon/Begin

Get 4+ people to chant around a central sacrifice, and have the people involved follow the following script:

Central Sacrifice: Let the BIRD SEX/PECKS CUMMENCE! (repeated)

Surrounding Members(?): (chanted) BOZO! BOZO!

At this time, you may play Mafia with the birbados drugadictus as the central cause of death. This ritual must be repeated every time a game of Mafia opens with the desire to include Sustown and Co. ™ ℠ ® ©. We repeat: EVERY TIME! (unless Tall God is present, then the chant is optional).

The Mother Wing and the Herald of the Catalyst

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Please contact administration if you would like to Redacted Redacted Redacted Redacted Redacted. Have a nice day! 😊

Current Announcement

This article is not yet finished, please check back as we are stiłłłłł in the proceßßßßß of spying on our enemies gathering information for this purpose.

Other Links

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2736803/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQXUd4Fku2E

https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E?t=6 Meth birds in real life