Memories:LAN

2005

2005.1 -- Bad Posture

In Dan Salvato's Math Logic class in 2005.1, one of his friends, Rina Polyakov, noticed that Dan's shoulders were slouched down all the time. She brought it up with him, saying "Put your shoulders up, like this." Dan took note of this.

A year later, just before 2006.1, someone in school told Dan he had good posture. Dan was incredibly happy - it made him think about all the little things CTY has done for people, too.

2005.1 -- Holding the Door for 500 People

Dan Salvato and his friend Luyu were bored one day and they were sitting in the Schnader stairwell, between the front and back doors, just lightly talking. Noticing the many people walking in and out, Dan and Luyu began holding doors open for people. Dan couldn't help but notice that only certain people said "thank you" as they opened the door - this made him curious, and he decided to get creative.

Dan and Luyu relocated to the door coming in from Schnader porch, and their friend Andrey decided to join them. Together, the three of them held the door for anyone entering while counting each person who walked through; they also counted the number of "thank yous" received. Out of the 500 people they held the door open for, they received 255 "thank yous" - that's 55 percent. They also created a set of rules determining who says "thank you" and how it is said:

• RAs are much more likely to say "thank you" than students.
• Females are more likely to say "thank you" than males. This applies for students and RAs.
• If the walker is familiar with the door holder, he/she is less likely to say "thank you."
• People in a small group are unlikely to say "thank you" unless one person says it; in this case, the rest of the small group usually says "thank you" as well.
• People are more likely to say "thank you" if they witness the door holder opening the door.
• Unless a female RA, walkers are likely to say "thank you" quietly.
• Small groups are more likely to say "thank you" than large groups.
• Female RAs are most likely to smile when saying "thank you."

2005.1 -- Discovering Love in the World

Dan Salvato, the Son of the Holy Trinity in 2008.1, was ironically as non-traditionalist as possible during his first year in 2005.1. He had come to CTY during the lowest point of his three-year depression; he felt that CTY would give him a chance to start his life over with new people. Dan was generally happy at CTY, staying inside during dances to play cards and spending every Quad Time in his hall. However, his depression still affected him; he sometimes felt like everyone cared about each other more than Dan. Feeling that CTY was nothing special for him, he decided not to return the next year.

Because of a thunderstorm on the day of the last dance, all students were required to report to the ASFC, which Dan was unhappy about. However, he managed to play cards with his friends against the wall, despite the blaring Canon songs in the background. Eventually, though, Dan's card-playing friends dispersed, and Dan was left alone to sit against the wall. Nightswimming began to play, and Dan was terribly upset - he was all alone again, just like at home. But then he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Artem, a onemore in his hall with a wonderful heart. He asked Dan what was wrong, only to get a shrug in return. Artem then said to Dan, "Hey, if there's something bothering you, you can always come to me to talk about it, and I'll always be here to listen and understand. I care about you, I want you to know that."

Dan felt something he had never felt before. He realized that maybe there were people out there - amazing people with amazing hearts; people who could care and listen; people who could love. Dan knew he had somebody in the world, and he knew if he came back he could find more. He decided to return to CTY for as long as he was able to, and his three-year depression was over. Since then, he has tried his hardest to help people with their feelings whenever he could; he wants to show people the same love that was one day given to him. Maybe he can change a life, too.

2006

2006.1 -- DHARUN!!!

One day, a young man swung his lanyard around his neck, to the guilty delight of many an onlooker. His friend, Scott Xu, seemed to enjoy shouting his name at him - and thus, the legend of Dharun was born!! Dharun gathered a large following, which consisted of many people he knew or did not know at all and thought were very strange, shaking their fists wildly and praising his name at the height of their voices. This continued on for many a quad time, until Dharun grew weary and his (now) cult looked for a new deity. The second was not as well-renowned as the first, and Dharunism eventually peetered out, but it will always live on in our hearts.

One particularly holy moment for Dharun was after he had gained a good amount of worshipers - he and his Game Theory classmates were playing a strategy game, but one side was already guaranteed to win. Meanwhile, a student known as Zev Chonoles (not to be confused with Zev Hurwich) was playing Star Wars music in the background. The room was completely silent; a song had just ended and the class was contemplating whether or not it was worth continuing the game. Suddenly, Dharun said "Okay, raise your hand if you want to stop playing." Dharun raised his hand high, and just as he did so, a massive choir singing a high and holy note blasted out of the speakers, confirming Dharun's unquestionable decision. When the laughter among the classroom had died down, nobody challenged Dharun's decision and the game was ended.

2006.2 -- Sexapussy (The Sexapus)

During Second Saturday of 2006.02, Crafting the Essay 3C student Ashok was getting bored as the day was dragging on to around 4:00, the end of the activities. Hallmate Greg Lawrence IV had had some twisty balloons mailed to him, and Ashok had collected 2 balloons so far that Greg had left lying around, presumed to be broken. Upon returning to his room, Ashok suddenly had an idea: he would make a balloon octopus! Quickly, Ashok scoured the hall for 2 more balloons. Alas, he only found one more, but not to be deterred, he used the 3 balloons he had to make a six-armed octopus. And thus Sexapussy, The Sexapus, was born.

Ashok took the Sexapus to the 3rd Dubbs lounge, which was at the top floor of South Ben and very hot. As the people in the lounge started playing with Sexapussy, a few were interested in how slowly it fell. Noticing that there were several fans cooling the room, Ashok and RA Adam Roush set up 3 fans pointing upwards and dropped Sexapussy into the current. For the next half-hour or so, Sexapussy would float to the top of the room, then flip and fall, then flip and spin around several times while catching the air currents and floating upwards again. In summary, it would float, flip, and spin without touching the ground for several minutes at a time, and it looked really cool. Word of the Sexapus got around quickly, and many people came up to 3rd Dubbs to see the balloon creature. Unfortunately, someone jostled one of the fans before a good video could be taken, and it couldn't be put quite in the same position so that the Sexapus would float as long again. Later, Adam and some others tied inflated plastic bags onto 3 of Sexapussy's 6 arms, which made it float much slower and longer.

Sexapussy suffered the same unfortunate fate that all balloons must, unfortunately, but plans for a bigger setup are under way.

P.S. we all secretly (or not so secretly) want to have the sexapussy's babies. its true. ~Yulia speaking for all of CTY who witnessed the glory that was Sexapussy.

Years later, a live "hexapus" was found in a British aquatic zoo.

2006.2 -- The Legend of The Ivan

For those of you who don't know (i.e. those of you who weren't in Archaeology or Advanced Chem 06.2), this is the legend of The Ivan, collaborate on by Lena and AmanDaray (Amanda Ray).

It unfolds thusly: Soon after arrival at CTY, Amandar and Lena conversed and became friends. Of the myriad unusual and nerdy things discussed, the subject soon veered towards sex, drugs, communists and other such risque business (as CTY conversations have a knack for doing). Amandar brought forth the idea of locating an individual on campus to stalk for the remainder of the session, an idea that was met with enthusiasm from the not yet "attached-at-the-hip-and-left-knee-to-Kib" [The origin of this quotation remains uncertain] Lena. Walking past the arches, Lena spotted a more than adequate stalkee and rushed to inform Amandar of the charming new development.

The two giddily overeager students and some friends they told about the stalkee stared at, "casually" walked by, and giggled uncontrollably at and around him for excessive amounts of time. He was of slim build, dark hair, and pasty complexion. On some occasions, he wore grey Asics of the same style as Lena's. He was often seen carrying an "indie" messenger bag and reading books while eating meals instead of socializing, like an "emo" student would. He often appeared very pensive and existential (if it is possible for one to look existential). He had a Russian look about him, and was soon dubbed a communist. At breakfast, Lena once remarked that he looked as if he should be at a coffee shop or vintage record store "like, in Belgium or somewhere!" which prompted the notion that he was a stereotypical Kerouac-esque beat traveler, and all of his books were written by Nietzsche, Camus, Ginsberg, and Palahniuk. Upon writing a report on fourteenth-century Russia in class, Lena researched Ivan the Terrible and immediately decided that the stalkee's name must be Ivan, Nikolai, or Sven or "something swanky like that." Ivan was preferred by Amandar and the matter was settled.

At first, since he was too old to be a camper, and looked too mystical and worldly to be a TA or teacher (and obviously wasn't an RA), Amandar was misled to believe that he was a random F&M college student crashing CTY meals for unknown, mysterious reasons. Soon thereafter, one of the CTYers involved in the stalkage discovered that he did, in fact, have a black lanyard. This prompted Amandar to drag a whining Lena to the bulletin board outside the Nurse's office in Thomas where the pictures of RAs and TAs were posted. To both girls' dismay, the elusive stalkee's picture was ripped from the board, probably by a first session CTYer. They did, however, discover his real name, Nicolas (surprisingly close to Nikolai!), and that he TAed MIND B.

By the third week, Ivan probably was well aware that he was being stalked, especially since an involved CTYer, Kristin, decided to approach him and strike up a conversation which promptly failed. Lena had kind of forgotten about him by this point, but Amandar was still recruiting stalkers to join the rapidly growing cult of Ivanites. She hopes Ivan will return next year so the tradition can be passed on, but they probably freaked him out too much, in addition to everyone in MIND B. Apparently, no one in MIND B had caught on that their TA was being stalked by everyone in ARCH, CHEM, and a few random people from paleo and other classes.

Here is a strategically taken picture of Ivan and Amandar's shoulder by another A-Chem student:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/fefifofelen/cty/2lan06/5da2re2.jpg

Jeff Sachs says:

 As a member of Mind B. I am completely shocked that people were stalking Nicolas "Fries"
 Friesner. Although I did read some interesting Dr. Uffy, Fries, Lectern, fanfics...

Laney Newhouse says:

 DO NOT LISTEN TO JEFF SACHS. THAT IS A LIE. THERE WAS NO FANFICTION WRITTEN ABOUT DR. UFFIE, FRIES   
 OR THE LECTERN, AND CERTAINLY NOT ABOUT THE THREE OF THEM ENGAGING IN ILLICIT ACTIVITIES TOGETHER. 
 However, I, too, am very much amused by the stalkage of our beloved TA, and would like to note that 
 a lot of members of our class stalked him as well, as they found him quite attractive and soulful.

Amanda Ray says:

 'Twas the great Amandar herself who discovered the black lanyard, silly Lena.

2006.2 -- Waffle House

On the last day of CTY, two CTY'ers, Harrison and Jordan, thought it would be a good idea to go to the waffle House on Harrison's last day at CTY. The plan was to sneak out and have Andrew, another boy in their hall, prop the door open. They made it past Turkey Hill and into the Waffle House, where they had a lovely breakfast. On their way back, they were stopped by the Lancaster police for being out past curfew. After trying unsuccessfully to pass themselves off as townies, they were carted back to F&M, where it was discovered that Andrew had indeed not propped the door open. While the administration couldn't do much to Harrison, as he was a nomore and it was the last day of the session, Jordan was not allowed to come back for his nomore year.

2007

2007.1 -- Balcony Incidents

The only person to witness the balcony incident was Dan Salvato. The entire campus was on its way to the ASFC to watch the annual Talent Show. Dan, however, was a performer in the Talent Show and was preparing to depart with the other performers, who were grouped in Thomas Hall. A Rubik's Cube was needed as a prop for one of the MC acts, and Dan was asked to run back to his dorm in North Ben to get his cube as quickly as possible. At the front of North Ben were three RAs (Dan does not remember who) - two were at ground level, and one was a floor up on the balcony. All three RAs were laughing as the bottom two RAs attempted to toss a lanyard up to the RA on the balcony - they missed several times, and the lanyard fell back down. This is a major rule violation and would get all the balconies banned if any of the RAs caught students tossing anything up or down the balcony. It was very funny for Dan to watch, but unfortunately, he couldn't think of anything witty to say to the RAs at the time. He returned to Thomas Hall with the Rubik's Cube, and the RAs were never caught by anyone else.

There was a second incident leading to the near-banning of the Muhlenburg/Mull balcony and possibly all other balconies due to the throwing of sprinkles off it. This occurred after the 4th dance while everyone was coming in from the afterdance. The two perpetrators were stopped by two CTY students because they did not want the balconies to be banned. The following day, an RA noticed and called a hall meeting for Muhlenburg and Mull to try to figure out what happened. The RA accused these two halls because they were the only ones with sprinkles.The punishment would be having to clean up other halls. Luckily, one of the two students that stopped the two perpetrators was in one of these halls, and told his RA what he saw. The perpetrators were caught and the balconies stayed open, and the halls were not punished. One perpetrator was from outside the hall, and his punishments are unknown.

2008

2008.1 -- Dan's Disappointment Speech

A transcription of the speech can be found here: Dan's Disappointment Speech

Dan Salvato spent 2008.1, his nomore year of CTY, involved with tradition and the Alcove more than ever. When heading out of a lounge in North Ben during the first Saturday, he saw his two friends, Alex "Sasha" Ayvazov and Rowan Matney, in the distance. Sasha looked upset; Dan asked what was wrong upon approaching them. Sasha explained that he did not feel as much of a sense of love and family in the Alcove as he always had in the past; Dan and Sasha talked about this together for a while and agreed that something should be done to unite the Alcove as a family. Thus, they decided to write a speech to give to the Alcove the following Tuesday during dinner. When Sasha had to go, he hugged Dan and said "I love you, Dan." Dan started to cry, as this was the first true sense of love and family he was given during 2008.1.

NOTE: The Alcove and its sense of family is a very touchy and debatable subject, mainly in terms of whether the Alcove has lost a sense of family over the years, whether it has become less of a family after 2007.1 when Zev and others nomored out, or whether it has always been the same but was given a goal in 2008.1 that was not upheld to the fullest of expectations. This entry only covers the interpretations of Dan, Sasha, and the written speech.

Dan and Sasha spent several quad times and early mornings working on the speech. The original idea of the speech was that the Alcove contained a strong sense of family in the past, but this was failing in 2008.1. Dan consulted Dana Reback after the completion of the speech; he was glad he did, because she was involved in the Alcove for four years and believed that the sense of family was never truly given in the Alcove any more in the past, but was rather a new perspective the Alcove wanted to uphold for 2008.1. Dan spent his quad time rewriting the speech and went over it with Sasha Tuesday morning.

After a long talk with the Site Director, Dan was ready to give the speech, though he was incredibly nervous. Upon quieting down the Alcove, he got their attention by opening with the sentence "A few of us have been disappointed this year at CTY." From here, he was able to deliver the rest of the speech; a few people were in tears at the end, including Dan himself. The speech was awarded with a lively applause, followed by each member of the Alcove hugging Dan one by one. The Alcove then formed a circle by linking their arms around each others' shoulders, singing the Beatles' "Hey Jude." Dan left the Alcove crying and was stopped by Frank Wang, sitting with several other RAs. Frank asked Dan what was wrong, and Dan said "I just gave my speech" in between sniffles. Frank reached out his arm to pat Dan on the back, but Dan moved closer and gave Frank a hug (Frank said "Okay, okay" in slight disapproval).

"42 is a great number, but if it means one more person can join in, 43 is even greater."

2008.1 -- Brotime

On the talent show program, an act midway through the set was listed only as "Brotime." This act turned out to be five male RAs (Tom, Diego, Papa Pucci, Joe, and Scruff) dancing to Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," leading to much laughter and many cheers from the female students. The next day, at the final dance, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" was played. As soon as it was started, there were many yells of "BROTIME!", people cleared the blacktop, and the fivesome performed. Then, at closing ceremonies, two encore acts from the talent show were scheduled; Dan Salvato, Alan He, and Victor Song's breakdancing, and Sarah Hackney, Sarah Parr, and Rachel Khatan's singing and playing Scarborough Fair. The breakdancing went over well (besides the fact that the iPod's battery died mid-performance), but before the Scarborough Fair act went on, there was some sort of altercation between Sarah H.'s guitar and a member of the History of Disease class, rendering it unplayable. Therefore, Sarah had to rush to get a spare, leaving a large time gap. Some students yelled "Brotime!" and weren't taken seriously at first, but when more students called for Brotime, RA Mama Kate asked if anyone in the ASFC had Wham on their iPod. Both Byron Callan and Jeremy Strege donated their iPods and Brotime put on one final performance for the CTYers and parents. They received a standing ovation.

2008.1 -- "Hey, Shae!"

During a break in Rocky Horror rehearsal on Second Saturday, certain students who here shall remain unnamed (due both to lack of consent from both parties and also full group LAN 08.1 memory of the event anyways) engaged in flagrant violation of PDA rules. Unbeknownst to them, RA Shae (still fully in drag) entered Mull/Muhlenberg 2nd lounge, with a full view of them from the door. It took a few tries from other students to get their attention, but once they realized Shae was there, one student immediately jumped off the other and onto the chair arm, and essentially hid behind a combination of knees and carefully-draped hair. Suddenly, jumbled excuses were heard from various unknown parts of the lounge about "part of the rehearsal" and "in the lab...on the slab!" Shae, who appeared somewhat startled, seemed to accept these excuses, and then said something about having to go get Adam Roush to watch the rehearsal, followed by what seemed like a plea: "Please don't make out anymore...!" After Shae's exit, the two students were ridiculed. This ridicule continued for the rest of the session, by changing the practice of directing the words "Hey, Frank!" to the air behind a PDA-ing couple with "Hey, Shae!" especially for this particular couple.

Edit: Most of this information is, quite surprisingly, 100 % accurate. I must interject to defend myself, however, because I totally didn't believe the excuses of said students at the time. Not at all. They were clearly not "in the lab, on the slab," as implied. They were in an armchair, being CTYI. I was just too gobsmacked to act otherwise. -Shae

Shae- I know you didn't believe them but it was more fun to write it that way. It would have been even more fun if I had thought to describe you as "gobsmacked". -Rachel

2008.1 -- Zoe's Quotebook

During 2008.1, a two-year tragedy named Zoe (last name not given because of paranoid parental units) was spending her first year at Lancaster, and was welcomed into the Alcove by her CODE classmates and hallmates. By the first Wednesday of the session, she noticed how many quotable sayings were being said around her in the Alcove and out, but due to the lack of computers/Facebook quote sections and her bad memory, she instantly forgot most of them. Therefore, she devised the Quotebook, the first incarnation being a few sheets of looseleaf paper held together with three braids. It filled up within three days, as well as started to fall apart, and required the purchase of a new, sturdier Quotebook. Zoe and her quotebook were inseparable throughout most of the session, and by the end, she had gathered over 250 quotes from people all around the site. She now has plans to keep another Quotebook in 2009 and obtain even more quotes. The Quotebook transcription of 2008 is on her userpage.

2008.1 -- Balcony Mishaps

The balcony of Rauch 3 was a place of mishaps and mayhem during LAN.08.01. The ETYM girls were often reprimanded for their interesting and slightly CTYI beheavior on side jutting precipice. The beginning of this saga was the Dangling of the Bra, during the Sunday Lockdown. A moth killed with a shoe mistaken for a gunshot put the whole campus under house arrest, but the girls of Rauch 3 had a religious RA, and therefore were barely informed through sparse text messages. During the lockdown, a bra was torn from the body of an unsuspecting ETYM-ite and dangled off the balcony, upon which very angry RAs/Policeman ordered the girls inside and the bra off its makeshift flagpole.

This was not the only offense, however. One night during lights out, one of the girls was talking on the phone on the balcony, when two attractive (yes... they were attractive. We could tell. It doesn't matter that it was dark. Shhhhhh) men were spotted walking through the campus. NAKED. Well... in boxers, but close enough. Being the true Rauch 3 girls they were, catcalling erupted and the boys walked over to talk. But right before numbers could be exchanged, the half-naked boys were caught by an RA and escorted off the premises, into the land of legend.

The last incident took place when a CTYer was reciting a sonnet rather loudly off the balcony into the night. A couple heading towards Weiss Hall shouted, "SHUT UP!!!" To which the response was, "It's Shakespeare, you illiterate manwhore!!!" But who should be walking by at that very moment but DRL Scary Matt? So, you can guess what happened next - yes. Failure. But a little Catholic girl wrote an apology and everything was right as rain. Suspicious? Maybe. Ingenious? Yes.

2008.1 -- Frank Wang: Owned Via PDA

The Ownage of Frank: A PDA Legend

It was the last dance of session 1 and CTYer X and CTYer Y were kissing near the back of the dance crowd. Suddenly, Frank Wang came by, and he shouted "No PDA!" Lo and behold, however, he was shouting to an unsuspecting couple right nearby CTYers X and Y, not X and Y themselves. Frank began to reprimand the victims verbally, and CTYer Y interjected, politely commending Frank on his excellent work catching the PDAers. It was then, when Frank began to go into full swing lecture, that CTYers X and Y kissed for a long time, right behind the great Frank Wang's back. It was a satisfying, triumphant moment never to be forgotten.

When Frank Wang turned back to face them, "lock down" mode was initiated, and both X and Y faced away and shouted, "Ew!!! Cooties!"

Thus, Frank Wang had been owned. Epic, genius, amazing, the best, you name it. He was destroyed in utter ownage.

2008.1 -- The Name Train

The Name Train was a horrible evil devised by an RA as a method to supposedly help CTYers learn each others' names, but was truthfully a nightmarish form of torture. It was introduced during the very first hall bonding, in which it wickedly ruined the bonding of many other halls. Sporadically throughout the rest of the session, the Name Train was revived, causing many CTYers to flee in fear when it approached.

"What's YOUR name on the Name Train?!"

"...Debbie?"

"DEBBIE! DEBBIE! DEBBIE-DEBBIE-DEBBIE! Hop on the Name Train!!"

The Name Train's reign of evil was broken, however, when a group of CTYers determined to stop it planned to join the train with really long names, like Riki-Tiki-Tembo-No-Sarendo-Terry-Berry-Ruchi-Pip-Beri-Pembo, obscene names, like Mike Hunt, or simply a few hundred digits of pi. The plan of action was changed when Zoe stated that any name train that attempted to kidnap her would be promptly Rickrolled, and held up her ever-present portable speakers. Inspired, Christine suggested that the whole group simply gather together in an acapella Rickroll, and thus the Wall of Rolling Rickroll was born. The Name Train was Rickrolled three times before the Wall scattered and fled, but the damage had been done. The Name Train was no more.