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| − | The name printed on my card is Alex Kohanski. Most people don't call me that. I have a(n incomplete) list of things people call me:
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| − | # Kohanski
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| − | # Bitchface Kobitchface
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| − | # Skiski
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| − | # Kopantski
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| − | # Skank
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| − | # Hokanski
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| − | # Axel Hokanski
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| − | # Hanskiko
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| − | # The Manski Kohanski
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| − | # The Womanski
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| − | # Skankobitch
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| − | # Hair
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| − | # Alekski Kohanski
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| − | # Xela Iksnahok
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| − | # Riff Raff
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| − | # Scott
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| − | # Matt
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| − | # The Gadfly of Love
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| − | # Yoda
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| − | # Lampshade
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| − | # Kohansky
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| − | # Brohanski
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| − | # Kobitchers
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| − | # Axe
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| − | # Bromanski
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| − | # Alejandro
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| − | # Sassypants
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| − | # KOhANski
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| − | # Koskankface
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| − | # Malexander Bromanski
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| − | # Luscious
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| − | # Kohanskirs
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| − | # Kohansk
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| − | # Lockwood
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| − | # Horse
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| − | # Sausage Gravy
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| − |
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| − | <gallery>
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| − | Image:The Gentlemen.jpg|11.1: Deena Alexander, Joey Fridman, Ajay Nadig, Sydney Speizman, Deb Bakshiyev, Rudy Garcia, and Alex Kohanski
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| − | </gallery>
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| − |
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| − | I've taken some classes at CTY:<br>
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| − | [[Latin|LAT1]].[[LAN]].08.1<br>
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| − | [[Beginning Ancient Greek|GRK1]].[[LAN]].09.1<br>
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| − | [[Etymologies|ETYM]].[[LAN]].09.2<br>
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| − | [[Crafting the Essay|WRT3]].B.[[LAN]].10.1<br>
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| − | [[Logic|LOGC]].C.[[LAN]].10.2<br>
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| − | [[Pop Culture|WR4B]].[[LAN]].11.1<br>
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| − | [[Cognitive Psychology|COGN]].[[LAN]].11.2<br>
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| − |
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| − | ==The Notebook of Horrible Ideas 10.2==
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| − | I decided to keep a notebook of horrible ideas during 10.2. Here they are. Ideas with a + have been done to my knowledge.
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| − |
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| − | - Say "derp" when you orgasm ~Marnie<br>
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| − | + This notebook<br>
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| − | + Putting bales of hay in front of gravel ~F&M<br>
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| − | - Climbing the Scrabble ~Jonah<br>
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| − | + Humanities courses ~Everyone who's taken a math course<br>
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| − | + Driving to Canada during intersession ~Eloise<br>
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| − | + Driving to Canada ~Jonah<br>
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| − | + Canada ~Jonah<br>
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| − | + Protection<br>
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| − | + "Erik, this is my brother." ~Alex Pressman<br>
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| − | - Safety first<br>
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| − | + Filling someone's hat with vaseline<br>
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| − | - "I'm so awesome, I can make out with my girlfriend anywhere!" ~RA Sam<br>
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| − | - Drinking 4 Red Bulls and playing ultimate in 105 degree weather ~RA Sam<br>
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| − | - Ripping the top off an Axe can, putting it in front of you, and not moving ~RA Sam<br>
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| − | - "Enter cafeteria; go apeshit" ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - "Adderall: Can't pass without it!" ~Ad in bathroom<br>
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| − | - Spray painting a fenced-in bench gold<br>
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| − | - Getting highlights in your pubic hair ~Erik<br>
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| − | + PDA rules<br>
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| − | + Ordered society ~Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Women discussing their birth canals ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - RHPS as a first date ~Ramsey<br>
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| − | - Racing golf carts on the quad<br>
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| − | - Convincing your instructor you get a break every hour<br>
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| − | - Opening an umbrella directly in front of someone ~Jonah<br>
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| − | - Giving people who are imprisoned for life WMDs ~Torrence<br>
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| − | + Discussing whether you can know that you know anything<br>
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| − | - 5 second rule on Schnader porch ~Declan<br>
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| − | - Going farther into a guy's anus to try to impregnate him ~Erik<br>
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| − | + "On a scale of edgy to ironic, where's the Holocaust?"<br>
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| − | - Hump a stump ~Silver<br>
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| − | - Switching all the students in one class with the students in another without the teachers noticing<br>
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| − | + End a story with "And then I thought about child molestation" ~Declan<br>
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| − | - Blammo with guns<br>
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| − | + Slapping your teacher across the face ~Justine<br>
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| − | + Taping pizza to a door and leaving it there ~Justine<br>
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| − | - Sistery bondage ~Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Telling your girlfriend that if wiffleball were a person you'd break up with her ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - When you say "orgasm", derp ~Jonah<br>
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| − | - Sitting on a bed totally naked drinking Strawberry Kiwi Lemonade and masturbating vigorously ~Jonah<br>
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| − | - Doing the above in front of people ~Bitchface<br>
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| − | + Running into someone's room, jumping into the trash can, and saying "It's funny because I'm in the trash!" ~Theo<br>
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| − | + Running into someone's room, stealing something, and running out screaming "Ahahaha! Yes!" ~Theo<br>
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| − | - "There are scissors if you need to open the hole more."<br>
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| − | + Interracial lesbian poop porn ~Literotica<br>
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| − | - Eating breasted shits ~Graeme/Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Shitfucking (your son's) monster meat ~Literotica<br>
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| − | - Read teh idea 3 above this while having sex ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - 31 Dogs in a Room as a movie ~Jonah<br>
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| − | - A play about the dichotomy between unbroken and broken glass ~Ariel<br>
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| − | - EpiSpear ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - EpiTrident ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - Naming your child Kotel ~Declan/Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Placing Mentos into 3 bottles of soda in the middle of the quad successfully ~Jonah<br>
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| − | - Preschool basketball ~Graeme<br>
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| − | + Playing Pokemon every day but never leaving Pallet Town ~Jonah<br>
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| − | - A reality show called "God Dammit, Charlene!" ~Jonah/Kleo<br>
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| − | + Awkward question squad ~Lilly/Erik<br>
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| − | - Breaking the PDF rules ~Sam Fomon<br>
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| − | + Triple crotch-shot ~Bitchface/Noah<br>
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| − | - Rotten asscheeks ~Noah<br>
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| − | + Becoming a master baiter ~Ramsey<br>
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| − | - Getting a masters degree in baiting ~Ramsey<br>
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| − | - Covering your jaundice with more jaundice ~Graeme<br>
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| − | + Long-distance makeout ~Bitchface/Noah<br>
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| − | + Not blinking as a pasttime ~Tess<br>
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| − | - A water fountain/urinal ~Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Eating this book ~Tess<br>
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| − | - Putting a metal rod in your penis ~Ramsey<br>
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| − | - Grinding the gay out of you ~Sam Fomon<br>
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| − | - Being a masturbating 5th wheel ~Bitchface/Noah<br>
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| − | + Chewing on pens without pen cases ~Alec<br>
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| − | - Inhaling flaming dicks<br>
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| − | - Stabbing each other in the foot with heels repeatedly ~Kris<br>
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| − | - Duct taping your penis to your leg and getting a boner ~Noah<br>
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| − | - Making a store called "A Store" ~Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Losing all control of your penis ~Gleb<br>
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| − | - Having a penis the size of a million penises including itself ~Dennis/Bitchface<br>
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| − | - Coming bricks ~Graeme<br>
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| − | - "...like the cool people at 4chan do." ~Gleb<br>
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| − |
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| − | ==The Notebook of Horrible Ideas 11.2==
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| − | - Vagina cakes
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