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| − | Name: David Kaner
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| − | Occupations: Student, Minion Epsilon of the Cult of Godzilla, Weather Girl, Doer of the hustle, Inventor of the word Goregasm (Nobel Prize in Linguistics, 1987)
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| − | Courses: International Politics CAR.05.2, Dissent CAR.06.2, Creative Writing CAR.07.2
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| − | David Kaner was born January 22, 1992, to poor dirt farmers eking an existence from the unyielding soil of the Upper East Side of Manhattan. He was raised to follow in their footsteps (sowing the dirt, harvesting the dirt, milling the dirt into dirt), but decided to concentrate on his studies instead, culminating in three years so far of happy, happy summers at CTY. His hobbies include plotting, scheming, conspiring, hatching, concocting,devising and coming up with a verb form of mechanization so it would make grammatical sense to add to this list.
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