Staff:LAN

This page is a record of well-known, beloved, and/or despised Lancastrian staff and the many stories collected about them.

Residential Staff

Adam Roush

Adam Roush is an extremely well-known and well-loved RA at Lancaster, having gone to eight sessions of CTY as a student and eight as an RA. In 2008, Adam received a change of position and was briefly SRA.

Adam is rarely referred to as Adam Roach and a few other similarly "creative" nicknames. Normally he is referred to as Adam, Roush, or Adam Roush, and he will be referred to as such in this article.

He is best known as the RA of First Dietz, a one-year hall in 2004 that nonetheless has a large following to this day. Indeed, he was the catalyst for the creation of the ever-popular "Tunak Tunak Tun" dance. Speaking of dances, he has (in the past few years) provided input for the Rocky Horror Picture Show tribute that takes place at the Second Saturday dance each year.

Roush is renowned for his prowess in the disciplines of banjo (as well as many other instruments, most with strings) and MC-ing, specifically in comparison to his evil, evil foil, the Student Talent Show MC. Adam also has mystical and superhuman powers. For example, at the Second Friday dance at 06.2, he broke up a group of girls who were inappropriately dancing (a.k.a. grinding train)... with his mind. He is also well-known for preemptive finger wagging towards innocent girls with pure intentions who would never even THINK of breaking any PDA rules. He was, understandably, the nemesis of User:Nixon.

The man is intense. -Unknown

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He was also one of the inventors of Greg Ball, a game played a few times in 2005.1 involving the yellow ball known as "Greg" and his cane.

In 2006.1, Adam also introduced his hall, on Fourth Thomas, to the Eurovision 2006 contest via YouTube videos displayed on his laptop. The song "Hard Rock Hallelujah" by the Finnish band Lordi became a favorite; at that session's Karaoke Night, he, along with several of his students, created masks and imaginary musical instruments and performed the song in front of the unsuspecting crowd. Some of the students on the hall had their musical tastes forever changed by that incident.

In one activity (Pretentious Coffee House) Greg wrote a poem:

What is pretentious?

Adam Roush

In 2008.1 he became the SRA head of Schnader Hall. He was known during this year for his very theatrical all-Schnader meetings on the steps of his building. During which time he would dress up in military attire and address the hall in a loud booming voice. In his heroically awesome speeches of the greatness of "Mother Schnader" he made sure that his building was the best because the other rival male SRA was Frank Wang. Sadly, he left before the end of second session for unnoted personal reasons. He is assumed to be retired from CTY.

Bo Snitchler

Bo Snitchler (short for Robert Edward Snitchler, II) was a CTYer at Carlisle in the early 2000's and an RA at the Lancaster site for in 2007 and 2008. He has one rule: to the good, he is more than fair, and to the bad, he is not. This rule has earned him the respect and acknowledgment as a very good RA. His excellence is widely known throughout the campus. In addition to his great methods of RAing, Bo is a fun, humorous, lovable and insanely attractive guy. He enjoys dressing in drag, listening to music, and, as a CTYer himself, partakes in many traditions. Because of his own love of CTY, he is able to connect more with campers, and vice-versa.

He is also known for the creation of Seymour/Stanley the unicorn, which was later made famous by RAs Matt and Dermot, which later resulted in the now infamous Marshall Civil War.

Fun Facts

• Bo can stop lanyard swingers with his mind, and is, to date, the greatest lanyard cop ever.
• BO TIME.
• Bo MCd the 08.2 staff talent show.
• Bo is one of the first scholars of Spencerology in the history of the world.
• Bo could befriend Spencer on Facebook at any time, if he so chose.
• Bo can teach you how to dance... badly.
• Hot Bo and Tom with balls.
• Bo likes to carry a PDA stick during quad time and dances, some enjoy licking his stick, successfully scaring him away.

DERMOT'S EPIC BOEM BY DERMOT

There once was an RA named Bo.

That's right, I said an RA named Bo.

He liked to sing,

And do something.

And guess what, it was me.

AN EPIC BOEM: OF BO AND THE ULTRA MEGA HELL DRAGON

Being the FIRST SAGA of the TWIN SAGAS OF BO…

‘Twas on a dark and stormy night,
That, shined on by some dwindling light,
A goddess, pregnant, felt a break,
Of water, which then became a lake,

With a push, a shove, and a lot of pain,
Bo was born, the lanyard-swingers bane,
With the eyes of a puppy and a heart of gold,
His babiness was strong and bold,

Bo fed on the blood of fire ants,
Wore magic shirts and lightning pants,
But was soon abandoned as a child,
Raised by bears amongst the wild,

Until one day, Frank Wang appeared,
He said that Hellish Darkness neared,
He said to Bo, “It is your fate,
To stop this lanyard swinging hate,

“A mega dragon wrought in hell,
Has cast the world into his spell,
He’s taken the ONE LANYARD from the Norse,
And swings it wildly, unbalancing the force,”

Thus Bo was put into Frank Wang’s training,
A light of hope in darkness waning,
Working hour by hour, day and night,
He could stop a lanyard-swinger by sight,

He sallied forth to fight the beast,
Whose wings were lasers and exploded unleashed,
In epic journey, Bo survived,
He suffered the torture, barely alive,

For Bo did travel through all of Hell,
From the Satanic Mountain to the Death-Bane Well,
To find the place where weapons lay,
That would help the evil dragon slay,

It was fabled that there existed a Frisbee,
Made of water from Hell to combat the dragon’s Fire Frisbee,
Frank had told Bo of this disc,
And Bo, to find it, took the risk,

At last, Bo found the Sacred Spring,
Of Justice, there did Valkyries sing,
He found the Water Frisbee there,
And out into the distance stared,

He saw a burst of molten flame,
It from Satanic Mountain came,
The dragon was aware of Bo,
And thought, “Oh my, this Bo must go!”

After weary traveling,
Bo did hear a thundering,
For he was now upon the peak,
Of Satan’s Mountain, and he heard a creak,

And now in clear sight he could see,
The Mega-Hell-Dragon of Misery,
He drew out his water blade,
And prayed to God, “Oh Lord! Oh Schnade!”

In epic flames Bo was consumed,
But brushed off his gory wounds,
He wound his arm and fired away,
The Water Frisbee, afraid to say,

That even though the dragon roared,
Bo felt that he was sort of bored,
For the dragon, yes, was epic still,
But he was easy for Bo to kill,

The discus hit the dragon hard,
And now, just like any bard,
I will relate in great detail,
The dragon’s death, to your avail,

The dragon’s eyes exploded blood,
Its bloody scales, its uvula,
And guts and feces soaked the ground,
And formed a gory mound,

And grub this the One Lanyard,
Bo stopped its swinging, abrupt and hard,
And claiming now his Lightning Sword,
Over all Lanyards, Bo was Lord

--Elliah the gangster 13:49, 16 August 2008 (PDT)

Dermot Curtin

Dermot Patrick Aloysius Michael Curtain (also known as Dermont Curtit or simply Dertit) was an RA at Loudonville in 07.1 and 07.2 and at Lancaster in 08.1 and 08.2. Through a yet unexplained phenomenon he became somewhat of a hero to many a CTY student. He is best known for his unorthodox antics and his constantly changing appearance.

At Loudonville, he was known for putting on Beyoncé music and running up and down the hallway in a giant yellow hat and suit for hall meetings. Additionally, he would often coach his hall in soccer. His experience in soccer coaching was never clear, as he would usually only spout that he wanted to see "more cross-checking in the neutral zone" -a hockey term.

It was also at Loudonville where "the Dermites", a cult dedicated to Dermot and his magical bowler derby hat (rivaling the Slushites of Meng) were founded. They were often at odds with Meng Cheng the leader of the opposition. However, the Dermites are not extinct to the present day.

Past high priestesses:

• 2007 – Catrina Doxsee
• 2008 – Katelin Schutz
• Eternal Highest Priestess – Julie (not Julia) Leghorn

Dermot is somewhat of a chameleon and has taken on many personae, including Dennis Kent (Superman's powerless brother, the Kents' biological child, also known as The Dork Knight), Olmec (from Legends of the Hidden Temple), Amishguy, Todd the yuppie, Waterfall (from Hippie Freakout and Smile Time hour), The Dork Lord, and Ken (as in, Barbie). Dermot also discovered Seymour the Unicorn in his second session's hall bathroom, whereupon he wrote ballads of praise and led an activity dedicated to appreciating this amazing cardboard beast constructed from pizza boxes and duct tape (its head was later brought to his room and left on his pillow as a parody of "The Godfather"). Seymour's present whereabouts are unknown. He was last spotted in the bathroom of the Lancaster Waffle House. In addition, Dermot is himself quite skilled with a guitar and performed Space Oddity with Sarah Hackney at the 08.2 staff talent show, and introduced the song simply entitled "Plant Man" to CTY Lancaster.

Dermot's signature pose is standing with his hands on his hips, which he does as often as necessary, which, of course, is ALWAYS. Another one of his iconic symbols is his circular "John Lennon" styled glasses, which are now in the possession of Sarah Hackney. (and the other was... given... to Julie Leghorn).

As of 2009 Dermot has retired from his CTY career. Although the legend of the magical unicorn will live on in the hearts of every CTYer.

REAL DERMOT CURTIN FACTS

• Dermot speaks only in Irish/Gaeilge. This made hall meetings very difficult for his students.
• The only dangerous amount of Dermot is none.
• Dermot knows why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
• Dermot IS the plant man's son.
• Dermot never keeps his promises... especially when they involve shirts... and his favorite CTYer.
• Dermot's stomach makes funny noises, have a listen some time.
• Dermot has one weakness, but I won't give that one up, that's for you to figure out on your own!
• Dermot is fighting with Julie Leghorn over these. Although, of course, she is always right!
• Dermot can often be heard saying "It was unavoidable" to questions like "Why were you in Ev's closet?!?"
• It is rumored that Dermot is pregnant. (I think it was Frank)
• Dermot is awesomeness incarnate.
• Kosher Land
• Dermot is blinded by umbrellas, and it is never his fault... under his nose...
• Dermot has a son. He is bright pink and looks like a stuffed pig... well maybe because it is a stuffed pig...
• Dermot is one of ten people living who can see and communicate with leprechauns (because he is one).
• Dermot is the Jean Genie
• Dermot can not bake to save his life. Although he does make a lovely housewife in all other aspects.
• Dermot single-handedly fought off a bear, using his magical hat.
• Robert Johnson learned everything he knew from Dermot (remember, Dermot has been known to time-travel).
• Dermot is Jesus' savior.
• Dermot was the hairstylist of the Bee Gees; if he can do that, he can do anything.
• Dermot's favorite meals are at the local Waffle House, with great company.
• Dermot's professional mentor is RA Ryan Hellman and Frank Wang, whom he has confessed, on many occasion, his unending love for.
• Dermot enjoys greasing up and wrestling dead moose and octopuses in his free time.

Frank Wang

Frank Wang is a a former CTYer who returned to the program as an RA at St. Mary's in both sessions of 2005. The following year, after St. Mary's was phased out, he came to Lancaster as an RA for 2006-2007. As of 2008, he became a Lancaster SRA. He has continued to be the North Ben SRA for the 2009 sessions. He did not come back for 2011 CTY. He is known for being strict, but with a humorous and cuddly side that comes out very occasionally. He is also known for, halfway through 06.1, demanding that all students pronounce his last name as "Wong" and not "Wang" (which is how you would pronounce it in Chinese).

Frank is a good singer and yells a lot. People often mistake him for being angry even though he is just naturally loud. Frank recently released his debut album. In CTY 06.1, Frank once was patrolling Thomas, during Thomas 3 (girls) hall meeting. He stopped in, and the students begged for him to sing Mulan, so he did. Then every night that he came, they made him sing.

Frank Wang became a mild cult figure in both 2006 sessions, spawning many "Frank Wang jokes" such as "Frank Wang only swung his lanyard once. The world didn't need another Grand Canyon." He was often referenced in Acting Improv. In reality, however he did swing his lanyard after the formation of the Grand Canyon. This action resulted in the stage dying during that Goofus and Gallant skit that the RAs did in 07.1. While running away from Goofus (Frank), the other RAs crashed into the curtain, which promptly fell. The majority of other Frank Wang jokes stem from his many similarities to Chuck Norris.

If you ever feel the need to scare the hell out of your friends while they're making out, simply utter the two words: "Hey Frank." This was attempted once in a lounge and three couples were petrified mid-makeout. It was followed with much screaming from the heyfranker.

Frank as Godzilla/Himself in Acting Improv

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Anecdotes

After the first sleepover of Lancaster 06.1, Frank banned sleepovers for the rest of the session because one the the people sleeping over "felt uncomfortable." Many people who slept over were interrogated in Frank's room to figure out what was going on. After the first sleepover, Frank punished everyone involved with the sleepover except five students: Jacob, Chris, Dylan, Ryan, and Eran. Curiously enough, Jacob's roommate, Jeremy, was punished the most out of anyone involved with the sleepover. For the rest of the session, he had Lights Out immediately after hall meeting each night.

Frank also confiscated many items after this sleepover. He took Max's baseball bat, Ben's lacrosse stick and TJ's tennis racket. After a trip to Turkey Hill, Max found that he had stupidly not read the label on his bag of Pixy Stix. Frank laughed at him and confiscated the Pixy Stix because they were packaged in the same factory as a peanut product (peanut products are banned at the LAN site). Frank was later seen bragging to another RA about it. Then, instead of returning them to Max at the end of the session, he ate them.

Frank also ran a system in which he would raise a finger each time he was annoyed with the students. If he reached 3 fingers, everyone would have Lights Out early for the rest of the session. In 06.1, Frank got to 2.5 fingers, and according to some sources, he never got to two fingers during the Second Session. This proved an effective means of making his students behave because, prior to this, they would always misbehave during hall meetings. He was a "Princeton Gangsta" who would always be strict with his residents, who were not allowed to use the microwave without RA supervision.

During LAN.06.1, one student had duct taped (in good CTY fashion) her bra back together after in the last week her last clean one broke. During the last dance of the session with the ridiculous "No going into the rooms" rules, the duct tape broke. She freaked out, and she and her friend decided to go to her room in Thomas so she could borrow one from her friend (all of hers were packed and dirty). In the lobby of Thomas, the two girls encountered Frank Wang. He demanded to know why they needed to go upstairs, and her friend said "she has had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction." Frank didn't believe us - he thought they wanted to check their hair, or something else that was ridiculous. Eventually the girl said "Frank, my bra split in half, can I please go upstairs so as to get one that is still in one piece?" Frank turned bright red, and the look on his face was one that no one else has ever witnessed.

Frank Wang's status as a latter-day Chuck Norris began towards the end of 06.1 in Ancient Greek 1 when, during a trivia game, one team couldn't think of an answer for one of the questions. Instead, they just said the answer was Frank Wang. Jocelyn, in a fit of creativity, started writing some Chuck Norris-style facts about Frank Wang, and thus the phenomenon was born.

During Christmas at LAN.07.1, instead of making Christmas ornaments out of construction paper, one hall decided to make a 3D penis that was to be placed on their RA's door. On the way to the taping, Frank Wang walked into the hall. He caught them and started to lecture the entire hall, plus one person from another hall. At first, he lectured jokingly by saying, "Come on! I expected more from you guys. Couldn't you have made it pop up after you slid it under his door so when he opens it, he's like, 'woah!' But sticking it on his door? Don't you think at least one other RA would have seen it?" He then got more serious. The hall did take his advice afterward, though, through the form of Valentine's cards.

After attending the activity "The Art of Courting and Wooing" (LAN 07.2), many people could be heard attempting to use the pickup line, "Have you seen my Frank? Have you seen my Wang?"

Assorted Factoids

Frank Wang's Facebook fanclub can be seen here.

Frank's AIM screenname is rumored to be piratejokester, though he rarely signs on to it. Any CTYer who attempts to IM Frank Wang will most likely experience Frank denying that he is indeed Frank Wang.

Frank Wang now has his own entry in the Nomore-Nomicon. Apparently, he is an alien.

Frank Wang also banned pelvic thrusting on his hall during 06.2.

Frank Wang voted for Dermot.

Frank Wang also Followed the Hager.

Frank Wang was one of the first two RAs to be taught the Dr. Mario Dance by Dan Salvato (the first group to learn it in 2007.1 was Dan's RA Ruven Chu and the rest of his hall, the Ruvenites).

Instructional Staff

Dr. Ted

Doctor Ted, (a.k.a. Ted Blaisdell, Doc Ted, Doctor Blaisdell, or combinations of those previously mentioned), was the founding instructor for The History of Disease. He is also a medical doctor in Lancaster County. HDIS started as a college course Dr. Ted taught, until one summer when he decided to try to introduce it to CTY. It was notable for being both a science and humanities course and is extremely popular. Doctor Ted is notable for his use of cultural analysis which consisted of him showing clips of Disney movies (e.g., Little Mermaid, the rape scene in Mary Poppins) and finding the cultural stereotypes and innuendo in those movies. Dr. Ted is also noted for being a singer in an F&M related opera group and a fervent Shrek loather. His favorite movie is Mulan. Before his HIATUS from CTY, he also sung annually in a barbershop quartet with Pomm, Timmer, and Tortoise during Talent Shows. Doctor Ted CAME BACK TO HDIS IN THE YEAR OF 2010, IF NOT 2009. Doctor Ted also always writes a skit for his classes for the closing ceremony. ex: HDIS.10= The sound of Mucus HDIS.11= Cell Trek

In the time of 13.2, Dr. Ted had his first all girl class. Sixteen girls and zero boys. Dr. Ted and his incredible TA, Angelis, hand-created 18 t-shirts for themselves and their girls. They also gave a five pound gummy bear. As the Ben/Schnade ran rampant throughout the campus, Dr. Ted went out and bought soap for his girls since their RA and the adminstration wouldn't, for some odd, inconceivable reason. Dr. Ted is and always will be the most amazing teacher, in and out of CTY. His indepth knowledge of biology, cultural responses throughout time, and expertise in life and the arts are what contribute to him being an amazing teacher. He is always there for his students. Dr. Ted is a true opera singer and a fantastic mentor. He had the most incredible TA this year, named Angelis. He bought hea "minature stuffed giraffe" named Teddy who proves that MINATURE GIRAFFES EXSIST! Their idea that humans (in partaciular a girl named Grace) are "hotter than dead rats" and contribute to the spread of bubonic plague. Not to mention Dr. Ted's field trips to the Mutter Museum and Longwood gardens, his tests, and T-SHIRTS MAKE HIM INCREDIBLY FANTASTICALLY AMAZING!

Pomm and Timmer

James "Pomm" Pommersheim and Tim "Timmer" Marks were the original and founding instructors of Number Theory at CTY Lancaster.

Since the early '90s, they have brought joy and laughter into the hearts of many CTYers. Their teaching style is known as the Diophantine method. They teach the class through a series of skits in which famous mathematicians illustrate examples of their discoveries. Their involvement with CTY goes back to the '80s, when they were students at St. Mary's.

Today, Timmer is a part of Staff American Pie tradition. For instance, after the line "And while Lennon read a book on Marx," the staff reply, "Tim Marks!" Pomm and Timmer, along with Tortoise and Dr. Ted, have also reached their fame outside of Number Theory with their famous Barbershop Quartet, an act they've put on at the Staff Talent Show up to and including 2005, Dr. Ted's year of BREAK from CTY. [DOCTOR TED RETURNED IN THE YEAR[S] 2010 AND 2011. HE IS BACK, PEOPLE]. The most impressive thing about them however, is how many shirts they have from Number Theory classes past. They wear a different one nearly every day of the session.

Timmer did not return to Lancaster for 2008, although Pomm did. Since 2008, Pomm has taught only the B section for Session 1.

In 2010, Pomm and Timmer's Number Theory Book was released, incorporating a few of the skits and stories from their CTY class.

The two, the only, Pomm and Timmer!

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A picture of the final Barbershop Quartet performance

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Site Admin

Brian Bloomfield

Brian Bloomfield was the Site Director for Lancaster in 2007. Brian was a fairly tradition-friendly Site Director and was also very reasonable, especially with Baltimore's rules. He held four "Talk with Brian" activities to talk about expectations and traditions and to answer questions. He was very approachable for even the smallest of issues, and always helped with questions (whether they be about Alcove, stolen stuff, or Mandatory Fun). He would, at times, take away dances, but he never took an entire one from anyone. There were, however, a great deal of people who were given probational contracts for things such as illegal sleepovers, and opinions about him are sometimes mixed.

Brian provided three cakes for the Last Suppers of both sessions (each said, respectively, "The", "Last", "Supper"). For Session 2, he also opened the conference room (Dining Hall 4), the perpetually closed dining area opposite the Alcove, to accommodate the large nomore populace. It had one long table which fit all the nomores, and round tables around the nomore table for spectators.

He also wrote on peoples' clothing:

• Max Wang's Shirt : "U will never amount 2 anything SD Brian"
• Yulia Korovikov's Jeans : "Yulia is not awesome SD Brian"

He did not return for 2008, and many RAs liked his successor, Site Director Debbie, more than Brian.

Rich Groff

Rich Groff was a residential staffer at Lancaster for many years. He is believed to have started working at Lancaster sometime around 1983 as an RA, eventually becoming Dean of Residential Life around 1987. He remained Dean until 1997 and is the person with the most years and sessions working Res Life at Lancaster as well as the person with the most years in any single Res Life position (~11 years as Dean).

It is not certain whether Rich Groff has been at Lancaster for more sessions than either Pomm or Timmer, but the distinction of having the most time at CTY Lancaster must surely belong to one of them.

For many years, Rich Groff, along with Garrett Jacobsen (former Academic Dean and Site Director) and Jack Kay (former Site Director) made up the student callback "Garrett, Jack and Rich" to the line "And the three men I admire most" in "American Pie."

During the summer of 1994, Rich was confronted with a phenomenon of shrines dedicated to a current student. Rich's response was to have his RAs declare war on said shrine under the guise of things not being nice. The shrine was disassembled under protest, but the love of JDO lives forever.

Rich Groff's favorite song is "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads.

Rich Schellhas

Rich Schellhas was the site director of Lancaster during sessions 00.1, 00.2, 01.2, 02.1 and 02.2. Probably the most beloved site director since Papa Jack, Rich is most often associated with Haribo gummi bears. Known for having a system of positive reinforcement in which CTY staff or students could put a slip of paper in his box describing a praiseworthy act, Rich would then send that CTYer a small package of Haribo gummi bears with a message like "You're doing a great job."

Rich Schellhas was appreciated by CTYers for his seemingly boundless energy, his good cheer, and the respect with which he treated the staff and students. "Chat with Rich" was a well-attended activity in which students could bring up concerns or suggestions. Rich was also known occasionally to wear a bathrobe on Thursdays.

There has occasionally been confusion between Rich Schellhas and Rich Groff; usually, this occurs when Lancastrians of different eras converse.

Rich used to be a High School Principal at an all-boys school in Baltimore, MD where he taught several CTYers such as Wii and Firefly. As of July 2009, he is a headmaster at a school near Philadelphia, PA.

Rich wrote a sonnet for the LAN.02.2 Commencement Ceremony. It also appeared in that session's literary magazine and appears below:

Dear guests who've come from far and wide to see

These students graduate from CTY
And those same students, staff, and friends of mine,
I welcome here today with wondrous glee.

Three weeks ago, right here, together we
Set forth on an adventure--now, goodbye.
So long, Rock Lobster, Patriotic Pie,
But preserve, endeavor!, this community.

Enigma busters, hairiest of heads
Crossdressers, togas, improv, AYP
Taps nightly 'fore we lay ourselves to bed
Commandments Ten, but not the nut called pea.
Those sweetest bears of gummy, best in reds.
Praise wisely those deserving, soft chewy.

Dear friends, ye of the Alcove, said--overt--
Hey Rich, we have no space, no room to sit.
To them I said let us not one hair split.
I said to them, once DIGI, EISHan, LLRT:

The PLACE you crave, you leave it, nothing's hurt.
Its SPIRIT lives inside you, closely lit.
These memories to heart you MUST commit
And to the squirrels next year discretely blurt.

And to the vet'rans, no-mores held so dear
To them I give my praise and love sincere

And thanks for yet another brilliant year.