User:Kokomo

I am Zoe Madonna.

CODE.LAN.08.1
WR4B.LAN.09.1

Forevermore, cat lover, BLT stripper, Quotebook carrier, obnoxious, always seems to get hurt, likes making pillows out of humans, professional armpit tickler (if it's raised, WATCH OUT), Rickroller, loser of the Game (I LOSE), nerd, procrastinator, Infernite, talkative, loud, soprano 2, Lancastrian, on Facebook (so friend her), shorthaired girl, vertically challenged, from New Jersey and agrees with the Pie callback, reunion attender, is never off AIM (IM: AnnodamZ), thinks it is slightly weird that this list is in third person, and loves you.

I made an on-the-fly Passionfruit speech. It'll be posted here when I get the video of it and can transcribe.

The Quotebook lives! I passed a Quotebook to Vira Shao for 10.1, and to Marnie Pimentel for second session. Hopefully they'll get even more quotes than me. Transcription of '09 IS UP! '08 is further down the page.

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Write nice stuff here! Or not so nice stuff, but if it's not nice I'll probably delete it. I love CTY, I love the Passionfruit, and I love you. -Zoe

ilovesyou <3 btdubbs. -little pickle

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The CTY Chronicles (09.1)

So. This is my journal from 09.1. Some tenses are weird because I wrote at irregular times during the day. Don't edit it, please.

THE CTY CHRONICLES

Saturday, June 27

Sophomore year is DONE! Done I say! I haven’t written because of high levels of busy during finals. But now, CTY shall be recorded in this journal.

THINGS TO DO AT CTY: (taken from AP US notebook)
-be in Rocky Horror (I want to be Columbia but that probably won’t happen)
-keep Quotebook and hand it down
-dictator a Silent Football game
-slow dance to Iris
-make Passionfruit speech
-Save $$ beforehand (DONE)
-adopt a squirrel
-strip for BLT
-last longer in Blammo
-go to St. Mark’s beforehand (done with vinyl pants to show for it)
-get a corset (done. Orchard St. ftw)
-go to GLOW

Sunday, June 28

Sitting in the car waiting to leave for LAN. I packed way way way too much crap, but I’m a nomore and I don’t care. Hope I get an occasion to wear those vinyl pants, or to make someone else wear them. I will have a whole hamper full of stuff to lend out come Second Saturday.

Doh! I only brought $20 of my own and parents gave me $40. Hope AYP’s having a sale!

Driving into Lancaster with the Decemberists’ “Sons and Daughters” playing off speakers.

Now I’m in Lancaster at a little restaurant called Effie Ophelia for brunch. I was feeling a bit sick earlier but maybe that was from trying to read in the car. Dear deity of your choice, I hope there’s no Schnade this year, or swine flu. If someone brings that to CTY, everyone will get it. No piggy flu plz. HOLY CRAP! I’m sitting across from that sex shop that we always pointed at on the way to market!

Well, I stood in some very long lines (and ran into Sasha on one of them), checked in, and found out that I had the same RA as last year (Clare) and am in Thomas again. Third floor this time, not fourth. I have a single room with a window on the Quad, which my mom organized and made me unpack according to her plan of how my room should look. I told her I can do it myself, but she insisted. Then we went to the bookstore to get my books (which came to over $100, Mom was not happy about that) and went to Hall Meeting where I met the girls on my hall.

They are:

RACHEL: Yes, it’s that Rachel. Adorable Rachel Larrowe of the Alcove and Tumblr and I’m so happy she’s on my hall because she’s awesome.

ALYSSA: Rachel’s roommate. She lives down the Shore and seems pretty cool too. Squirrel/one-hit wonder. L

LOIE: Onemore from southern California, near San Diego. Flying squirrel from Hawaii (!) I’ve never met anyone who actually goes to that site. She has a guitar and a ukulele with her.

ARIEL: Asian girl with glasses that I think was here last year. She seems kind of quiet.

MARGARET: A very fast-talking blonde with a high voice. She was here last year too, but I never really talked to her.

SOO: Doesn’t like being called Sue. She came here from JHU to take Pop Cult.

FIFI: Also from JHU. I talked to her over Project Future a bit. Onemore, I think.

SAM: Sam Reback. I know her from last year. Some call her “squirrel” even though this is her third year.

ALEX: She was, apparently, responsible for some of the Rauch 3 antics last year, including bra dangling. She seems like quite a loud person, but awesome.

Clare seems to have mellowed out a bit since last year, which is nice, but the rules have become stricter. Grass orgies are illegal!!! And we can’t hug anyone for longer than three seconds. This is going to get mocked. Also, we can’t show bra straps. WTF is this? Are we supposed to sew up all our shirts now? No one knew about the rule before hand.

Coed lounges are Thomas 1 and Schnader. No balconies, darn. I was looking forward to more good times in Mull 2, or finally seeing Atlee Dubbs with the Coke machine.

In the middle of hall meeting, in came…a girl named Lilly! She’s a flying squirrel from LMU and has a lot of energy. She seemed cool, so I adopted her. We’re still waiting for one more girl who’s not here, but we had to take a campus tour so we did that, and ran into Rowan (who gives hugs now!) and Little Pickle (AWWWW!) during it. I also saw Ryan for all of two seconds. After tour, we played Duck Duck Goose and Mafia until it was dinnertime.

I barely ate anything for dinner because I was always up and down, talking to people. I intro’d Lilly to Russian Sam and Joe Lodin, and said hi to lots more people (Faye, Verity, Shoff, whose hat I stole, Ryan, Miles, Ian, Colin, Max, Declan, Arthur, Violin Sam, Wesley.) Then to the ASFC for opening ceremonies, where I’m sitting and writing this.

My lanyard is blue and ID card is orange. Color senses are appalled. The Academic Counselors actually did a pretty funny video, and now the SRAs are up and my hopes are confirmed—FRANK WANG IS BACK! Woot! This will help make up for lack of Adam Roush and Dermot.

We sat through the RA rule skits (this hug rule is ridiculous.) and the anti-swear word skit. I may adopt “Oh Golly” as my word. We’ll see. Then, finally, our classes were called and we met our instructor. Her name is Robin and our TA is Mike Schlegelmilch. He looks like a hipster, and Robin behaves like a mother.

The first class was just icebreakers and getting to know you exercises. We have three boys, and they are Ian (a skinny giant from Carlisle), Seth (who I didn’t talk to yet) and Andrew (who sat next to me and arm wrestled Robin.)

When we got back to our hall, our missing girl got here. Her name is Sydney and she’s from Maryland, and she was late because of a soccer tournament. Lilly got really excited when she heard that she runs track too. Those two will be morning run buddies. Had hall meeting and signed up for activities (we have to sign up for EVERYTHING from Monday to Wednesday. I do not like this. Signed up for scrabble tournament as my weekly, and sidewalk chalk, GLOW, and tradition discussion group as my dailies. No running because of my stupid dislocating knee. L )

I have been here 6 hours and have already gotten 11 quotebook worthy quotes!

Mom called and said that she talked to the DRL about the bra strap rule, along with a bunch of other parents. GO MOM!

CRAP! I left my Halloween cane at home!

Monday June 29

Woke up to find a ukulele lesson happening in my suite! Loie was teaching Soo how to play a song that I didn’t know but sounded good. Loie says it’s called “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz. I shall have to download.

Breakfast hasn’t gotten any better. Still don’t feel like eating much, but said hi and gave hugs to everyone as they came in because our hall was right by the entrance to the right dining room.

First morning of classes was fine. We did a pre-assessment essay, which then spawned an Internet discussion. Then had lunch in the ex-LLRT room because the Alcove was being watched by RAs. Sasha was talking to the DRL in order to get rid of the RA presence, or at least make it so it wasn’t more than any other area. In the meantime, I sat next to Shoff and Ryan. Shoff kept tickling Ryan, and he makes weird noises when he’s tickled. I have to try that sometime. I also brought Lilly and introduced her to Declan and Ryan. Lilly also swears she’ll tickle Ryan when she gets the opportunity.

I’m writing with Ian’s fountain pen and there’s a purple stain on my right middle finger. We just finished reading an article on grammar by George Orwell. Yay angry white guys!

Moved on to the next round of Scrabble! Winner gets Rita’s but I think Ryan will beat me if it comes to that. But Scrabble was fun, and I met two people I didn’t know. Their names are Deena (onemore) and Megan (nomore). Megan’s in the Immaculata marching band, which I’M VERY JEALOUS OF >_<. I started singing Zappa’s “Catholic Girls” but she didn’t know it. Just as well.

Then at sidewalk chalk I met a very loud, awesome girl that flying-squirreled from JHU. Her name is Layna and we did some sidewalk chalk together. Then I rickrolled a path and did some obnoxious Infernite graffiti (for Declan.) Josh Mermelstein wrote a giant I LOSE on the blacktop, and got yelled at by all of us, even the RAs.

Went to study hall, read about ads. I listened to Girl Talk on Ian Garrity’s iPod and played “Here Comes Your Man” off my speakers, because he had a few Pixies songs on his iPod. Then he borrowed my speakers and I went to talk with my THEO A people. Met a girl named Midori from Germany who likes to talk in the third person.

Quad Time was fine. I ignored the RA suggested activity and tried/failed to glowstring. I an pretty sure Ian likes Loie.

New rule. THEY’RE NOT LETTING US TAKE OUR PANTS OFF DURING BLT! That is, if anyone is wearing anything with an “express lane” in front, it’s not kosher. It doesn’t affect me directly but there will be no chance of a pantsless Macarena this year. The guys will have to wear girl shorts!

GLOW tomorrow. And possibly Ryan owning me at scrabble. And maybe I’ll stop being frigid. And pigs may fly!

Tuesday June 30

Woken up at 6 by fire alarm! At least I wasn’t in the shower this time. Then went back to bed and was half asleep until I heard it again and yelled “NO WAY! I’M NOT GOING OUT AGAIN!” but then I realized it was coming from North Ben and facepalmed. We spied on the guys’ fire drill and took creeper pictures. It looks like Ian Loya got caught in the shower, much to the appreciation of a few Thomas 3 girls.

Had breakfast, dictated a game of Silent Football (that’s one thing off my list) that erupted into shenanigans. Turtle kept saying pronouns and got penance; he has to talk in rhyme for 12 hours. He’ll be normal by quad time. Had morning class, which was reading essays in the book and discussion. Then lunch in Alcove; tickled Ryan and finally ate something. Analyzed ads during afternoon class, and halfway through that it started pouring so they cancelled activities and said “go back to your dorms!!” On the way back to the hall, I found a branch on the ground which I wrapped in duct tape to use as a cane for tomorrow with my costume. We had Hall Bonding, which was playing apples to apples. Clare and Alex would not stop arguing, but it was all in good fun. I don’t think Clare laughed this much all of last year. I wanted to talk to Joe Lodin at dinner but couldn’t find him. Then Shoff and his stuffed unicorn distracted me. He kept sucking on the horn and sticking the unicorn in his pocket, and I had to yell “DON’T TOUCH THE HORN” when anyone wanted to pet it.

Before class, I met a new squirrel! His name is Erik, he’s from New Jersey, and he wouldn’t be more flaming if they poured brandy over him and lit him on fire. He provides some very good, if CTYI, quotes.

During evening session we started our first essay, which was about ad analysis. Mine’s from a honeymoon resort. Still no Joe during break, and no THEO B kid knows where he is, other than the fact that Kaitlin saw him walking towards Thomas with my RA. Hope he’s not in trouble. I braided Arthur’s hair since Joe wasn’t there.

During Quad Time we started an SF game (Elena was dictator) that erupted into shenanigans when the RAs played Hava Nagila, because of it being CTY Rosh Hashanah. That was a fun Q.T. until I heard why Joe was gone-HE BROKE HIS COLLARBONE WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO DO A NINJA ROLL! I love him, but he’s an idiot.

Had meeting, (no more bra strap rule) let Loie change in my room because her blinds fell down, sleep.

Wednesday July 1

-There are kids in Siberia, you know! (Sasha) -Guys! I am not a scratching post, you are not kitties! (Sasha) -Rush! His hair is so lush! He makes my heart flush! His generosity makes me gush! And when he hits me he makes a sound like SKRUSH! (Joey Botros) -Guys, don’t pick on Seth. He doesn’t have a hand fetish. Or a foot fetish. (Margaret)

Those were quotes form today. I rather stupidly left the Quotebook in my room and Clare wouldn’t let me go up and get it.

Got dressed in my costume and went to breakfast. I was Alex deLarge from Clockwork Orange, which got me a tacklehug from Shoff (he was Horribly Confused.) Little Pickle was a bumblebee, Turtle…something strange. Sasha the tooth fairy with a soda tab vest,, Faye was something with a long name (I told her she could be Carmelita Spats), Rachel a Generic Bond Girl, Alex a cat, Ian Garrity a Jonas Brother, Josh Mermelstein was Josh the Juggling Plumber, Katelin Spongebob, Sam B. a Ghostbuster, Skip was something royal, and Joe a cripple. L I told him, welcome to the club. His left arm’s in a sling, just like mine was.

I got Blammo spoon and target. His name’s Aaron Gertler and I don’t know him. Skip pointed him out to me, and he wears a backpack with his initials on it. Maybe that’ll help.

Worked on ad essay, had break, and played Presidents with Mongoose, Arthur and Katelin.

This morning I also met an interesting character named Joey Botros. He was dressed as Jack Sparrow and he is quite loud. All through breakfast he was running around asking “what’s a pirate’s favorite letter? ARRRRRRR!” and a little Asian girl kept roundhouse kicking him. Also, a guy named Alex K. who was dressed as an old man would chase after him and yell in an old man voice. I think I’ll find him at lunch.

Found him, and he was still being a pirate. Sat in Alcove, talked to Alcove people, comforted sad Joe Lodin and tickled Ryan. You’d think he’d learn not to have his back to me so often.

Helplessly hoping
Her harlequin hovers nearby
Awaiting a word
Gasping at glimpses of gentle true spirit
He runs
Wishing he could fly
Only to trip at the sound of goodbye
Wordlessly watching he waits by the window and wonders
At the empty place inside<
Heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams
He wonders, did he hear a goodbye
Or even a hello?
They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each others
Stand by the stairway
You’ll see something certain to tell you
Confusion has its cost
Love isn’t lying
It’s loose in a lady who lingers
Saying she is lost
And choking on hello
They are one…

That’s in case there’s open mic night. I want to sing that. And if there’s not, now I have the lyrics to CSN’s Helplessly Hoping.

Made it to the Scrabble finals. Tomorrow it’s vs. Ryan for the Rita’s. Had dinner and played “You Are A Pirate” off my speakers for Joey Botros, who did a crazy dance. Then I talked to Wesley, always as nihilistic and creeper-ish but strangely fun as ever, and met a girl with the most awesome name ever (Ceilidh Blood) which I pronounced correctly.

Finished essay in study hall, then ran to Quad while it was thundering and sang “Singin’ In the Rain” in my Alex DeLarge costume. Lawl.

RAWR! Phone charger won’t work!

We decorated Clare’s door for her birthday while she wasn’t looking. A bunch of us made signs and strung uninflated balloons up.

Thursday July 2

Got up, put bathrobe on, brushed teeth, grabbed blammo spoon, forgot Ava (the camera) went back for Ava. Ate breakfast, where Sasha was making Sasha/Joe slash fiction jokes. Supposedly, I like molesting cats, because I was petting Ryan and he’s a cat. Now we’re making satirical ads for our products. I’m worried about Joe; he seems really sad.

(skipped a bit of stuff here)

Songs to Sing Acapella:

Eli the Barrow Boy-Decemberists</ br> Helplessly Hoping-CSN</ br> The Boxer-S+G</ br> Drive-REM</ br> Golden Slumbers-Beatles</ br> Tiny Dancer-Elton John</ br>

The good news: Joe can stay at CTY. The bad: he has to have surgery on Tuesday, which means I’ll be spending my 16th b-day worrying about him.

Art of Courting and Wooing was amazing. Jesse Boring the AC that all the girls (and Erik) have a crush on, helped out, and he’s anything but his last name. Quotebook got so many good ones during that, mainly from Russian Sam.

Sasha and a few other people are circulating a petition-the Afterdance is in danger! The admin says that the Afterdance is making people late to bed, so we can’t have it UNLESS we get 4/5ths of the campus to say that shortening the dance is OK. We’re explaining to people what the Afterdance is, and they seem to like it. Hope the rest of the campus is as openminded as the Art of Courting and Wooing crowd.

Had dinner, had Study Hall, had Scrabble. It was a close game until Ryan bingoed on the last turn. 266-218. He gets the Rita’s.

Friday July 3

Got up, grabbed spoon, didn’t forget Ava or quotebook. Mermelstein played the Rickroll and the Dr. Mario Dance off his speakers at breakfast. Arthur got asked to be Riff Raff for RHPS. No word on my role yet, but Elena says I’ll be something.

When I went to get my vitamins at the Health Office, I heard the nurse talking. Someone’s getting sent home because of the flu! O.o None of that please. After that, talked to Erik and went to class where we watched Forrest Gump and I made a list of all the songs I knew on the soundtrack (which was a lot of them.) Halfway through, we read an essay that DESTROYED the movie, saying how it’s racist and it says that it’s OK to ignore the problems and that all the women in the movie are hookers (which is true.) Robin seemed to be taking that really seriously, which was unsettling.

At lunch, we started singing meme songs (Pokemon, Chocolate Rain) and then the KiVO staff told us to go outside so we did. My Blammo target was right next to me in the circle for Don’t Stop Believin’ and I didn’t see his spoon so I tried to blammo him, but the spoon had been behind my head, which was valid so he was safe. We also did half of Rock Lobster but we got called for class.

Had class, went to first AI of the session (which was pretty funny) and “1,2,3,4 Protest!” which was us running after the “bunny hunting” group yelling “1,2,3,4! We don’t want no bunny gore! 5,6,7,8! Save the bunnies, not the hate!” although some people yelled “5,6,7,8, Bunnies like to fornicate” and got yelled at by the RAs. Then played some Silent Football and went to dinner. There will be no love triangle drama involving Erik, thankfully. Everything’s sorted out. And I have an Afterdance song! I’m doing the Hokey Pokey with Arthur.

And more later. The guy can’t commit. Erik will be fine. He’s Erik. I’m wearing black shirt and skirt with red BLT shorts and fishnets to the dance, which is in the ASFC (ass-fuck…)) It’s not even going to rain! What is this madness? I’m not bringing Ava to the dance tonight.

Dance was fun. I mormon danced the entire thing, and waltzed with Sam Bauman to Iris (one thing off my list.) He’s short so dancing with him isn’t awkward. A bunch of us bombed the request list for “Heart Attack ‘64” but it didn’t get played. Mormon danced the rest of the night, and had fun during American Pie, which I managed to SEE this year!

(AFTERDANCE SKIPPED)

Spent the night in Lilly’s room talking. A creeper at the dance who used cheesy pickup lines was following her. Poor Lilly.

Saturday July 4

Woke up, got dressed, walked across the Quad being serenaded by people singing “Star Spangled Banner” very loudly off Rauch 3 balconies. Talked about music with Arthur at breakfast table. I have to look up Sunn0))). Then I played Apples to Apples on the Quad until it was time to go. Loie was there with her ukulele playing “I’m Yours” again. That song is so damn catchy.

Central Market was fine. I met an extremely cute puppy and I got some foods, (including lox which we all ate on the way back) but AYP was closed for July 4th. What kind of punks are they??? Wesley and I gave it the finger, and luckily Shae didn’t see it. But I don’t think she would have yelled at us, because Shae is awesome. Then went back to camp and played some blackjack at CTY Casino, and got 1000 dollars because I was wearing a rainbow belt for CTY Loves day. I also got 555 dollars from being lucky at blackjack, so that goes towards the auction. Hung out with Alcove people and listened to music outside Schnader, and Sasha explained the ice pick story to the squirrels and people who hadn’t heard it. (I stayed clear. I’ve heard that story.)

Dinner and then prepared for dance. IT’S OUTSIDE TONIGHT! I’m wearing my vinyl pants because if I wore them in the ASFC I’d die. No Ava at this dance either. I think I’ll only bring her to one.

Sam and I ran up and down the hall yelling “DANCE TIME!” before the dance, and then went out to the Quad. End of the World got played really early so the RAs would be able to see any runners. D.M.D. also got played, and EVERYONE DID IT! I wasn’t able to help teach it when they did it during Thursday Quad Time because I was getting pwned at Scrabble but it seems like the got on fine without me.

I Mormon danced for the slow dances. Seth, from my class, asked me to dance during Stairway and he was actually a pretty entertaining dance partner. Lancaster’s 4th of July fireworks were going off during that song, and we could see them from the Quad, so it was pretty damn awesome. American Pie was awesome as always, even though I didn’t see it being acted out because I was following Aaron Gertler through the entire thing. As soon as Dan Tracht yelled “AFTERDANCE” I tapped him and yelled “BLAMMO!” My new target is Rachel Schwartz.

Afterdance went well-the Hokey Pokey (my song) was really energetic, and all the drama has cleared up. DRL said 5 minutes before lights out that we couldn’t have sleepovers after all so we’re all pissed at him, and we have to move our mattresses back. (Well, I didn’t because it was in my suite, but everyone else did.)

Sunday July 5

Got up, did laundry, and hung out in Schnader Sub Lounge with people. We had a lovely Avenue Q and Tom Lehrer sing along, then migrated outside to play Silent Football. I also tried to sing La Vie Boheme during the sing along, but Sam Bauman yelled “NO! NO!” so that failed.

If my handwriting’s bad it’s because I’m on the Schnader rocking chair writing this. And Oedipus Rex is still stuck in my head. In a few I’ll have to go to Mandatory Fun. Mandatory Fun was the CTY Auction. There was Karaoke before that and I sang Brown Eyed Girl and watched Midori sing I Will Survive (and she’s awesome) then played Never Have I Ever and sat through the pie eating contest before our hall bid. We won the RA of our choice singing to us at lights out.

We didn’t do anything for Hall Bondage except stay on the hall and chill. I saw my target walking outside my window with no spoon but I couldn’t get her because that would mean a 3-story fall.

Had dinner, went to class, and went to Turkey Hill during Quad Time to stock up on snacks. I have to watch my cash.

These Pennsylvanian people sure love their fireworks! There have been fireworks visible four nights in a row. I took some pictures.

Monday July 6

42 quotes, one day! (Well, 43, but you get the idea.) Woke up, ate, helped Turtle with his meta-joke. He’s making as many variations on “The internet is not a dump truck, it’s a series of tubes” as he possibly can. I’ve also resolved to go the whole day without poking anyone. It’s getting a bit old, the way I greet people with a poke instead of a hello.

Dan Tracht’s camera and mine had a lovefest with some other cameras while Max Randhahn’s camera took pictures. Then went to class and I can’t remember what we did that morning, but I met someone extremely awesome during break. Her name is Vira and she’s in THEO A, and she is supposedly in love with Michael Crawford. I told her that she needs Viagra, and maybe a whack on the head. But I don’t want to hit her, because she’s adorable and short, like me. (Well, I’m short. Adorable, I’m not so sure about.) She hugged Ryan and made both of them fall over, which was lulz.

I signed up for Rock ‘n’ Roll Appreciation but didn’t want to do it so went to AI instead and pretended there had been a mix-up with the numbers. Good thing I did, because AI was actually funny and didn’t have a lot of memes. But then again, I failed at 24 Hours No Pokes at AI when Little Pickle was being too adorable for me to not boop her nose. Then I had Improv with Props, which was OK for one game, which was the “What are you doing?” game. I said “I’m on 4chan” when it was my turn and Colin Stanfill made the best facial expression ever! Too bad Ava was out of batteries. I don’t think the RAs knew what 4chan was, so they didn’t care that it was completely CTYI.

Later, at Quad Time, Sam Bauman ran up to me telling me that I needed to listen to “God,” which was the 4th movement of Saint-Saens’s Organ Symphony. I thought it would just be another one of Sam’s epic pieces, but I had been looking for that piece for 11 years! It was in the opening credits of Babe (which I still love), and I never knew what it was until now. (one part skipped here)

My makeup kit spilled all over my floor, so a blush and a powder shattered. I’m lucky it was nothing else! But now I have to clean it up tomorrow.

16 tomorrow.

Tuesday July 7

Happy birthday to me! Woke up and hugged people, and since 24 Hours No Pokes has been given up on, I poked Wesley Rian which meant Ceilidh and Dana K. joined in. He is such a spaz. Had breakfast, went to class, went to bookstore on break. There were two blank versions of the Quotebook left, so I bought them to pass down. Marnie will get one for 2nd session. The first session Quotekeeper is undecided, and I’m not going to do it at Passionfruit, mainly because I’m scared that the position will be refused. And that would be awkward.

Joe’s getting his surgery today. He left during morning break. I’m worried. He says he’ll text when he’s awake.

People sang Happy Birthday to me (no death metal this year) at lunch. Little Pickle sang it in Greek, so I have to remember to sing it in Dutch.

We’re talking about gender codes in class now, and I’m probably going to finish the Forrest Gump essay in class tonight. But, before that, I need to bring Vira to the Alcove. She is awesome and she knows Avenue Q lyrics.

Went back to my room to find my door decorated! Called parents then went to AI, and for the first time I was in the Sphinx! It was pretty cool, even though I never got to deliver a punchline. Then GLOW, which was really nice and delivered lots of quoteable quotes. Why did I wait so long to go there? Midway through, the “CTY Sampler” activity started looking in creeperishly, which was amusing.

Brought Vira to the alcove and witnessed an amusing exchange in which Vira ordered Ryan to get her ice cream, and he did it. He wouldn’t get me anything, that jerk. Had study hall, then Quad Time which was karaoke. I sang the Beatles’ “Helter Skelter” and got a bit of applause from the camp. Robin liked it a lot and tackled me afterwards. Talked to Sam for a while afterwards under a tree and had an RA staring at us, waiting for PDA to happen (which it didn’t). (some stuff skipped here) After Quad Time, Lilly, Ariel and I threw water out the window of the bathroom, fooling the hall below into thinking it was raining. They even had to call their RA.

During Hall Meeting, Clare told me I had a package, and it was from Aunt Julie! She sent her Most Holy and Orgasmic Brownies. I love my Aunt Julie.

Wednesday July 8

It’s halfway through the session and I already have more quotes than I got in the entirety of last year. Some people think I should pass it down, some don’t. I’m probably going to give it to a onemore.

Today’s “unmarked day” for our class so we had to wear the most generic clothes imaginable. Got up and went down to the cafeteria to find that it was Christmas and I was required to wear a cleavage hook. It was’t very comfortable so I told Shoff to wear it, and Dan said that guys can only wear cleavage hooks if they have chest hair and cleavage. So then Shoff had to show off his chest hair and cleavage. DO NOT WANT! XD

In morning class, we talked about what’s art and what’s just created to make money, and during break I talked to Vira more. I like her more every time I talk to her. The beginnings of a pavement orgy started but I couldn’t join in.

At lunch, it was the “birthday party” for all the CTYers that had a birthday during session, and there was a very large cake with all of our names on it. It amused Ceilidh that they spelled her name right on it, because no one ever does. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that good a cake, but what can you expect at CTY? I had some brownies instead (stolen from Vira, of course.)

Midway through lunch, a kid in the Alcove said “Carlisle’s been closed” to me, and I was all “whut?” I told Ryan and Brandon, and they didn’t believe it (Brandon held up an imaginary “citation needed” sign)So Ryan and Colin Stanfill went to talk to the site director, and she said yes, Carlisle is closing. That news proceeded to spread like wildfire around, and there were many Carlisle jokes during AI that day. Some people think it’s because of swine flu, but the site director says it’s just because of flu. That has to suck for those Carlislians, especially the nomores.

Pirates vs. Ninjas turned out to be a game of dodgeball, but we had the ever dramatic Joey Botros to entertain us on the pirate side, which was fun. RA Shannon kept saying bzzt-worthy things about balls (I.e. does anyone here have any balls?) but I couldn’t say anything. Just as well. On the way back, we started singing “set Frank Wang on the drunken sailor,” getting us a few funny looks from the great man himself.

Had dinner, had evening class. Quad Time was hanging out in Schnader Sub-lounge with Elena, Little Pickle, Mermelstein, and others. Rudy Garcia has been quarantined in the Health Office for showing “flu-like symptoms” but they’re gone and he may not be sent home. <crosses fingers>

Thursday, July 9

Blammo targets have been rearranged. New target is Mermelstein. Had breakfast, and after that talked to Wesley and Ceilidh while trying to ward off Ceilidh’s brother (who is an annoying bastard.) Today for Pop Cult we’re supposed to be uber-marked so I wore pink tank, cow skirt, black and white striped leggings and bathrobe (because it is Thursday after all)

We talked more about gender in class, and afterwards Robin made us all wash our hands because of Carlisle. We all piled into the men’s room, even the girls, so we wouldn’t have to go upstairs to wash…until we spotted a guy in the stall and RAN!

Had lunch, had class, went to AI. Found out there that Max Randhahn makes some very silly noises when tickled. That boy is adorable. There was an OK Sphinx, then went to GLOW. We talked about marriage, Iowa, and Massachusetts (GO MASSACHUSETTS) Sam read from the Hiker’s Guide at dinner, and afterwards we all went to talk to Rudy by his window. He says that there’s no chance he can stay, and we all air-hugged him goodbye. Then I played the DMD for him and we all did it, so I decided to see what reaction American Pie would get. We did a full American Pie with about 15 people outside Rudy’s window, which was pretty damn awesome. No Afterdance because we had to go to class.

Right before class, I heard that Colin Stanfill was sick and being sent home, so we decided to Pie-roll him as well. Organized people and staff support during break, but he had already been picked up by the time we got there! L Poor nomore…

I managed to get on an AYP trip because of a very nice person who gave her spot up so I could finally go. If you are reading this, thank you.

Had meeting, got a package from home with a few novelty gifts in it, and called Josh F. and talked to him for a half hour after lights out.

Friday July 10

My voice is going, so I drank some tea. At least my appetite is normal, so I know I don’t have the flu. I could not take leaving now. Ian M. started tickling people at breakfast, but surprisingly Ryan did not make funny noises. I always make funny noises, so Ian M. got a reaction out of me. Had class in which we made collages, had break, had lunch.

Received this announcement: Blammo has been ended for all games because the Health Office has started confiscating spoons, believing them to be a disease spreader. Everyone still in has been declared a winner. And I guess I did last longer in Blammo than I did last year.

We went outside for afternoon break to find that there was graffiti outside Keiper, courtesy of Wesley, making us all lose! Fob you, Wesley. After class, I went back to my room to get clothes to trade with Ryan for Second Saturday, and he forgot to bring mine to AI. AI was OK but not laugh-out-loud, unless you count Max’s tickle reactions again. The boy is adorable and I’m going to ask him to dance tonight.

I mainly sat under a tree and read for Graffiti Jake, which was writing on RA Jake’s new white clothes. We had to keep it CTYA, so it was pretty boring unless you count Yida (who makes the same joke at every AI) walking by and asking if it was acupuncture.

Had dinner, and Ryan brought clothes to me. I also lent Wesley a skirt (he had better wash it!) Then up to the room to change and prepare for dance. Beginning of dance was fine, (whole camp got Rick Rolled and Turtle led the dance) but I couldn’t go on the EOTW line because people were running. I had Ava, so I took pictures instead. After that, they played some random rap song where we did the Domino Dance and Generic Gangster Dance. And then Ryan started making out with a tree for no reason.

I tried taking rave pictures, but they all turned out bad, so Dan Tracht gave me some tips. This means I’ll have to bring Ava tomorrow as well. They then played “Take Me Out” again, which was extremely fun to dance to.

I stripped for BLT this time.During Nightswimming I got extremely sad because of nomore-ishness, so I went and sat behind an arch. Don’t Stop Believin’ got played after that, and Squirrel Rachel from Shannon’s hall coaxed me out. Danced the rest of the night, no matter what the songs were. I asked Joe to dance during In Your Eyes and I started crying again (hope this is the moon, otherwise I’ll be a blubbering mess during the last dance.) Crying meant I buried my head in his shoulder and the RAs busted us for so-called “PDA,” which wasn’t too good. Also asked Max to dance for Stairway, and he’s a very nice dance partner. Forever Young was on the circle, and after American Pie it was such a relief to not have to take my spoon out!

Afterdance went well, and I’m not going to have a voice tomorrow AT ALL. We had sleepover tonight-everyone in one suite-and we sketchycalled Ian G. Alex kept saying in a low voice ‘I’m NAKED! I’M SO NAKED!!!” and I had to bite my lip to keep from cracking up.

Saturday, July 11

Woke up earlier than I wanted but couldn’t go back to sleep, so I showered and changed into Ryan’s clothes. Guy clothes are so comfy! I may need to get me a pair of those shorts. Brandon Carreno commented that I looked like Ryan (and sounded like him, because MY VOICE IS GONE.)

Hung out on Quad, took pictures, and helped guys with their boobs. I took some dresses out of my room to give to people who weren’t crossdressed, and tried to persuade Andy Smith to do it (some yelling of “ANDY, CROSSDRESS!” happened) then went back up to Thomas to throw a dress down to Joey Botros before Central Market. I didn’t get any weird stares from the Amish, but maybe that’s cause I didn’t look especially like a girl trying to look like a guy. Joey definitely did. Then AYP, where everything was so expensive and I had no money, but I got purple hair dye.

Upon return to camp, I wanted to see what Ryan looked like in my clothes, but Declan said he was feeling sick and is lying down. Hope he’s not sick. I ignored the carnival and talked to people, and then decided that I wanted to dye my hair so I went back to my hall. Changed out of Ryan’s stuff into sports bra and shorts, took hairdye and orthodontic rubber bands for tying hair (nice to know they’re good for something), and went into bathroom to find about 2/3rds of my hall there either dying their hair or helping. So we had a hairdying party, soundtracked by my speakers and M.I.A. and the Pixies. I didn’t like the way my hair came out after the first dying, so afterwards I went back up, changed into girl clothes, put more purple in, and cut the back of my hair off so it didn’t look like a mullet.

Clare’s hall will be making an impression tonight-half the hall has unusual hair! (Rachel is all red, Lilly has orange streaks, Alex has a dark red streak, Sam has one orange streak, Soo has blue streaks, Margaret is all pink, and I have purple streaks.) Loie and Alyssa want to do theirs later.

Packed the costume hamper for RHPS and took it down to outside North Ben, where rehearsal was happening and cross dressers were hanging out. All I can say is, Wesley is not getting a job anytime soon if people check the Facebook pictures. Then had to change into costume for RHPS so Matt could check if it was kosher. (Costume: black tank with black corset on top, green zebra pants, heels, black feather headband) Mine passed, and so did everyone else’s. I lent out some stuff, and we learnt our Transylvanian steps for RHPS.

Ryan has not emerged all day. I’m worried.

He came down during dinner and ate, but then he said he’s going to the Health Office. Stupid swine flu (which he had BETTER NOT HAVE.) After dinner, hung out outside, and I told Wesley the Ice Pick story.

Before I went back to Thomas, Turtle started…a NAME TRAIN. I tried to avoid it with the “Stop don’t touch me there” meme but my voice was gone so it was incoherent. Name train broke up when Sam B. yelled “YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!” and charged at the name train, breaking it apart. Lawl.

At the dance, mainly hung out on the sides for non-canon (it was in the ASFC and VERY HOT) until Time Warp, which was at 8:42. It was awesome-I had fun dancing even though my voice was GONE by then. Arthur’s slide during Time Warp almost hit the audience, and he looked INTENSE Rachel was also really cute as Columbia, and I gave her a cheer when she pranced out. Sweet Transvestite was great-Ian M. is a perfect Frank and the audience screamed when he de-bathrobed. He also flashed his underwear at the end by crossing and uncrossing his legs really slowly, and I was in the direct line of fire for that. DO NOT WANT! (Well, he does give very nice back massages.)

Afterwards I danced a bit more, but then the lights turned on and everyone was shooed to the side. A girl had fainted in the middle of the floor, and all the RAs were running around and speaking in hushed tones. I loosened my corset so that wouldn’t happen to me, and we were sitting down for about 15 minutes before the dance continued. They skipped BLT, which wasn’t good.

I asked Russian Sam to dance during Stairway, and he was the most entertaining dance partner I’ve ever had. Don’t remember what we talked about, but I was never awkward or bored. And that’s good.

During Brightside and Forever Young, I stood as close to the speakers as possible. If I go deaf, I’ll go deaf happily knowing that was the last sound I heard. It seemed magical, like the songs were going right through me and I was part of it and so was everyone else. Tbut then of course I had to trot (not allowed to run, xD) towards the center to watch Pie.

After Pie, the RAs said that the afterdance would have to be in the ASFC because of lightning, but then they started shooing us out, so the Afterdance happened while walking. It was pretty poorly organized, but it was the longest “CTY HAS A NICE BUTT!” ever, annoying the RAs. And that made me laugh, even though I was inaudible by then.

No sleepover tonight. I stayed up till 1 AM with “Forever Young” on repeat. When that is played at the last dance, I will be a wreck.

Sunday, July 12

Woke up, put laundry in, made tomato soup, and went out on Quad with my speakers to find people. I found Sarah Parr, and more people joined us. So we started listening to the Velvet Underground and “being relatively happy.” Erik put on a song called “After Hours” which I had never heard before, and I sat there and drank it up, and drank up everyone and CTY. (A/N: What’s with my writing?)

I went to get meds and asked if Ryan was OK, because he hadn’t been at the dance. He was already gone! WTF? L Another nomore gone…No one was happy to hear that, and when I called Ryan on my “calculator,” Vira yelled at him for getting sick. I was a bit tired, so I used Max R. as a pillow. He was a very nice pillow. Then we listened to Ian reading a bit of a trashy romance novel about a guy with wings that is sent to be a sex slave. It was pretty bad.

At about 10, Turtle handed us some strange cardboard circles, purpose unknown to us, and told us to be on the Quad at 11. None of us were really planning on going anywhere, so we stayed there, (I had to get laundry and get a honey stick for my voice but then came back) until 11. At about the set time, Turtle came running across the Quad in a giant Pac Man costume yelling “wakka wakka wakka.” So that’s what the circles were for. I tossed my circle in his mouth as he ran by, being chased by Sasha, Joe, and Jesse Boring as ghosts. Win, guys.

Had lunch, and then a bunch of us congregated on the Quad to listen to Sasha reading a book called “Those Darn Squirrels”-first normally, then in the Soviet Russian version, in which “Old Man Fookweier” was replaced with “Old Comrade Fookweier” and the squirrels were communists. Then had to go back to the hall for Mandatory Fun, of which the only fun part was throwing balls at Frank Wang and Jesse (and talking to Midori, Vira, Rowan and Little Pickle) We finished our “quest” early so we went back to the hall, and Alyssa dyed her hair with my purple dye. Lilly also did henna for me on the back of my hand, and it looks professional. Then we played Tanks with a guys hall, and my partner for the first round was my old Blammo target. I got out first that round. Then I got paired with Quanah Potts, and that was better-we won that round. There were many “do a barrel roll” jokes made during that Hall Bonding.

We had dinner, and after dinner Russian Sam started reading from My Immortal, which is a Harry Potter fanfic widely regarded as the worst fanfic ever. I’ve read it and I concur with that. It is so fail that it’s win, especially when whole blocks of story are just copypasta from earlier. Whenever that happened, we’d yell “RECURSION RECURSION RECURSION!” We’d also yell “FATALITY” when someone died and then was resurrected.

We got up to about the 17th chapter before we had to go to class, but Russian Sam promised to continue at Quad Time. As I was walking to the study hall meetup spot, Wesley and Dana came running over with Wesley in a far better (and more creeper-ish) mood than he usually was in. He had chugged a whole bottle of Venom energy drink. Oh good lord. I would not like to be Dana, or anyone in his class, right now. Or maybe I would like to be, for the lulz.

Had study hall which was a discussion about Web 2.0, watched and took pictures of Wesley being a creeper at break, more study hall, then went to Quad Time. The reading did continue, with some chapters so badly spelled as to be incoherent. People started reading it in accents, and Alex Lu’s 13 year old girl impression was the best, especially since he got to do “RAVEN WHERE’S MY SWEATER?”

I also had to explain Goatse to Ceilidh. Don’t want to go over how I did that, but Wesley was still on Venom and would not stop laughing.

Up till midnight tonight because my stomach was hurting, but I walked up and down the hall and drank some water and felt better. Still no voice. Oh dear FSM let me not have swine flu!

Monday July 13

Woke up, (found out WHY I was feeling crappy last night as soon as I did, >_>) went to breakfast and had KIVO bagel with salmon cheese, as usual. (What would I do without KIVO?) I was wearing a pair of light jeans and was carrying my Sharpies, so I asked everyone I saw to sign my pants. After eating, we read more of My Immortal outside Bonchek. RAs keep coming over so it’s a bit difficult to read it now, considering the poorly written sex scenes in it are laughable but since they mention “you know whats” and “boy thingies,” they’re probably CTYI,

Worked on my Web 2.0 essay and got my song analysis back. It got destroyed by Robin, and that’s OK because it wasn’t very good anyway. During break, we went to the bookstore and I found a book of ads from the 70s on sale, including an extremely phallic cologne ad that I took pictures of before giving the book to Robin. She told me to sign it so she’d remember me when I’m famous. Ha! Yeah, right. I also got a tin of cinnamon altoids (because of Ev and “cinnamon altoids give you charisma”)

Walked to lunch to find the grounds covered with lepers! Or just HDIS kids with lesions painted on. Max and Turtle are the most adorable lepers ever. Then went to the mailroom (got nothing) and quickly sprinted back to eat something because TA Mike is now making us wait at the spot at 12:50 to make sure no one’s late.

During afternoon break, Vira was squealing over a TA’s Hello Kitty hat, and she tried it on and mugged for the camera. (I also tried it on but it didn’t look as good on me.) She kept mugging afterwards, and because she’s adorable and Asian and was wearing a tank top and shorts I said “got loli?” and she didn’t know what that was. I had to explain loli and Pedobear to her, and she looked a bit creeped out afterwards. (It’s what I do.) Vira had better come back. She says she loves it but doesn’t know if her parents would let her. I said no parent would make their kid only go for one year if they loved it that much, and I hope that’s true for her. CTY needs more like her.

At AI before the migration to North Ben (we’ve been doing that lately because of the construction site and its jackhammering) Turtle kidnapped Ava and proceeded to do the most intense Myspace picture shoot ever. Most of the photos are of him and Shoff being creepers, but there were a few of Declan, Max and me in there. Brandon also photobombed it.

AI was fine (RA Shannon yelled FREEZE when she thought a skit was being CTYI, so she then had to go in and act herself) and Mafia turned into Silent Football, which I dictated. Sam Bauman and Brandon were in the Universe, so good fun was had.

Went to dinner to find that the chairs were moved off to the side in the Alcove, so a bunch of people ate on the floor. I didn’t because I was already at a high table and didn’t want to move, but I took some pictures. Afterwards was more My Immortal, with a brief break to observe someone being locked on Klein/Kunkel balcony. We all started chanting “LET HIM IN! LET HIM IN!” and Turtle ran up to help, but by the time he got there, the locked out boy had already climbed through the window.

Had class, worked on essay, and ditched My Immortal at quad time after it started being incoherent and not funny. Instead, hung out with Layna, Russian Sam, Max and others under a F+M blanket on the lower steps of the South Ben terrace. At the end of Quad Time, someone came running over and said that Brandon was being sent home. I was all “WTF, he was fine this afternoon in Silent Football” but apparently he went to the health office and had a fever, so he’s going home. Another nomore/nevermore out! Hoping there’s no more nomores leaving.

Tuesday July 14

Up, breakfast, sang Happy Birthday to Midori, learned how Turtle wishes people happy birthday (DO NOT WANT) and lay on Sasha’s air mattress for a while on the Quad until I got kicked off. Turtle stole the camera for a while again before I was able to get it back. I also managed to photograph Aidan (Ceilidh’s brother) who’s a bastard.

Started the draft of the final essay in the morning, had lunch, then had class in Keiper because THEO B was using our room, and we finished the draft. Robin called it the QUICK!!! PRESSURE!!! ESSAY!!! And I managed to finish on time. We managed to see part of a Pomm/Dimby skit, and Dimby seemed to have a whip, which got him some odd looks from my class.

We had the last activities, which for me were AI and GLOW. Parkbench was as memeful as ever, and all the other games were ones that I liked. For Sphinx all the nomores were invited up, and it was incoherent but fun anyway. Then GLOW, which had to move to an area behind Ware because there were 80 people. We had just enough cupcakes. Russian Sam gave a really good speech during that about sexuality and its definitions, the text of which I wish I took down. Shoff also speechified about how CTY taught him about orientations other than straight. I can’t even imagine Shoff being not his Shoffy self, and what he must have been like before he came to CTY.

Ian Loya has been sent home due to flu. Another nomore, and three days before the end. That has to suck.

After dinner, I was having a bit of nomore-itis, so I sat down in a lawn chair outside the Dining Hall for a while and listened to Pink Floyd. Wesley came over and we talked about being nomores/nevermores, and because I was feeling down, he offered me a bottle of Venom to cheer me up. I had about a quarter of it, and my eyes felt like they were being pulled open by that machine in Clockwork Orange. Why do people drink that stuff??

Wrote the final draft of the final essay in study hall, and hopefully my writer’s cramp will ease up now. XD Quad Time was the lip sync contest, and most of the entries were entertaining. Joe, Sasha, Turtle and Miles did “Carry On My Wayward Son” with Guitar Hero guitars, Ian Garrity was part of a group that did Everytime We Touch, and Mary, Duncan, Kate and a few others did a whole choreographed routine to “”I’ll Make a Man out of You,” which got lots of claps.

Margaret must have been inspired by the Disney, because she started singing Disney songs out the Thomas 3 bathroom window, and people across the Quad in North Ben started yelling things back. I started singing the Rickroll (MY VOICE IS BACK! WOOT!) and then it was bedtime.

Wednesday, July 15

Got up and had breakfast in which Dan Tracht was doing some very sketchy things with a tripod. Someone also Rick Rolled the table, and Erik called “never gonna give you up” a sad song. The Hedgepuss was being passed around, and I had a cutespaz over that but then wondered if it had swine flu. Sometime during breakfast, I started playing “Here Comes Your Man” off my speakers again, and it reminded me of the first day when I was playing it for Ian during break. How long ago that seems. Max remarked that he liked that song and the Pixies, but he didn’t know “Where Is My Mind” so I played that before class.

I attacked him on the way to class with my incredible tickling powers. His fault for wearing a box over his head. Turtle had to guide him up the Appel steps.

The activity in class was a debate over whether Web 2.0 is positive or negative. I was on the positive side, and I helped draw the poster and didn’t completely fail at drawing a pointing finger, which surprised me.

Monk Walk was during lunch today, so I hit myself in the head with the Quotebook as we went around the dining room twice. I also skipped out of line to whack Wesley for not monk walking with the rest of us, and Ceilidh cracked up.

More debating in the afternoon, and antics trying to get a Frisbee down from a tree on Old Main. The THEO B kids tried to make a human pyramid to get it down when just shaking the tree sufficed. Human pyramid was useless, but very funny. I also took some more adorable photos of Vira.

We were the first ones to get to the talentshow and therefore, got front row seats. I sat with Lilly, Max, Alex Lu, and Brenton (even though Max and I were also wearing fedoras, everyone calls that kid Fedora) The MCs were good this year, one of them being Pop Cult’s own Ian Garrity. Joey Botros and Alex Kohanski were also hilarious MCs. The acts I remember: Mary Kamitaki sang some song about the moon (she has a great voice!), Bryan Cardella did some CTYI standup comedy (the phrase “go copulate with yourself” will probably be repeated for the next 48 hours among CTYers) and Sarah, Arthur, and Aman (was that his name?)’s “indo-celtic anti-folk.” Matt Lee’s diabolo was also very entertaining, and when Dana Katznelson performed “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare” with a sousaphone onstage, many yells of “SHOFF!” could be heard around the ASFC. I do not want to think of the tuba porn that Shoff found…

There also was a skit midway through that involved RA Joey and RA Charlie pretending to be crazy parents, and Joey, who played the mom, said that there was a “cult called the Alcave who wear bathrobes and kill each other with spoons!” Charlie: “That’s Alcove.” Joey: “No, I think it’s “Alcave.” Like the terrorist group!” The audience loved it.

After that, there was an RAs vs. TAs dance off. The TAs (including Mike Schlegelmilch) danced to Thriller, which changed midway to “Never Gonna Give you Up.” RAs did “Boom Boom Pow” and Frank Wang was wearing underarmor, much to the appreciation of a few members of the audience. He can dance! Shae, the other lead dancer, was awesome as usual.

Ate dinner and found Vira with a Swine Flu doll that was almost as adorable as her. Went to study hall and wrote letters to Robin, then went to Quad Time for the mandatory slideshow that I didn’t contribute to. Robin must not know how to delete photos because about half of them were of our class, and she also doesn’t know how to crop photos because it auto-cropped the vertical ones, and they’re all crotch shots of us.

They didn’t Hanson-roll this one; the music was actually OK slideshow music except for Good Riddance (time of your life) which always pisses me off when someone uses it in a happy slideshow. IT”S NOT A HAPPY SONG!

My pants are so colorful now! I don’t want to see any blue unless it’s Sharpie by the end.

Friday (Thursday) July 16

Woke up and grabbed the new Quotebook, which I have decorated and written the names of the Quotekeepers in, first and second session. Went downstairs with it hidden, sat on it, ate a bit, and when Vira walked in I called “Vira, I got something for you!” and pulled it out from under me. She said “now I’ll have to come back, won’t I?” now she will. Take THAT!

Had class, which wasn’t really “class.” We went to the library and typed up our essays for the class anthology. I put my last one in there. Afterwards, we were given the opportunity to go on Facebook and surf. I surfed a bit and checked my email, but I refuse to go on Facebook till I was out of CTY. CTY is sort of like my break from FB, and I checked my birthday messages on Tuesday. That was enough for me. We fooled around with Photobooth a bit too, and I tickled Ian on video. He’s like a very tall kitten.

Robin took us all to the mail room before lunch, and I got letters (finally.) It was a huge envelope of letters from Marnie, and I MISS HER SO MUCH. I read them quick then dashed to dance to Canon outside Thomas. The last dance is full length this year, and Canon is only being played during lunch, so we’ll have time for an actual Last Supper, unlike last year.

After lunch we had to write a post-assessment essay but my mind was all over the place with the fact that holy crap in 24 hours I’ll be back with my parents and I don’t want this to end! Afterwards we had a floorgy and listened to the mix. Robin’s song on it was “I’m Yours,” and we all started singing along and it was lovely.

After class there were no activities, just packing. I cleaned my room with the window open while singing “Across the Universe,” and I think I heard someone singing back. My little pod room was such a mess…so much for keeping it neat. I packed everything except what I need for tomorrow and Saturday (we’re picking Jacob up at his camp) but my mattress is still full of stuff.

We finished packing early, so we had a water balloon fight with Rush’s hall and another hall. I managed to not get soaked, but Clare got pretty wet. Frank Wang actually taught us about strategy of throwing water balloons, but it all erupted into shenanigans anyway.

I wasn’t very hungry, so I got some fries and Coke and went to the Last Supper in LLRT, which had some quite good speeches. Dan is going cameraless at the dance tonight, and Sarah read Sylvia Plath. Sasha is our son. Verity wanted to read her sexual poem, but it was CTYI so she had to read the depressing poem. JT does not like long speeches. I don’t want the Quotebook to be a huge responsibility on Vira. It’s all a blur now.

I may have gotten the most epic picture ever of Frank Wang before study hall. We went to study hall and did nothing. Robin had planned an evening of sharing essays but no one wanted to do that. We just floorgied more and listened to the mix. Then back to the hall to prepare. I’m wearing my black dress, flats and fishnets with purple fake corset, purple sash and vinyl skirt underneath for BLT. Bringing my last glowsticks, and sticking my tin of cinnamon Altoids in my cleavage.

We got to the dance a bit late, and missed Blister in the Sun. They played Take Me Out right after we got there, and I rushed the dance floor to dance to that for the last time. Whenever I listen to that now, it won’t look right without Katelin Schutz singing and stomping her foot in front of me.

They played Birdhouse and I jumped even though I’m not supposed to. A bunch of people yelled “FATALITY!” right after “countless screaming Argonauts” and it made me laugh.

I was in the front row for Dr. Mario, swinging my shoulders and punching with my glowsticks. Will I ever do the DMD with glowsticks again?

Sandstorm was the rave. I jumped in the pit with my purple glowsticks/green bracelets and freehanded. If I’m an RA, I’ll be able to rave. I must learn how to glowstring, but freehanding was cool. I wish I’d done it sooner.

After the rave, went to get water and saw Vira and Ian MacKinnon sitting by the corner, and made a “no seducing” comment.

Speaking of Ians, was that Ian Loya I saw?

The last BLT was going to be epic…but got interrupted by a head check. I was confused at first, but then got the scoop from Max. They thought they saw a CTYer getting in a car. Perhaps that was Ian? THEY WILL NOT SKIP CANON. THEY WILL NOT.

Nightswimming. I danced with Max and started crying midway through, which meant I danced too close, which meant an RA tapped my shoulder and told me to break it up. Not even the fact that I was crying or the fact that our faces were about a foot apart can stop the RA banhammer.

They played Metro Station’s “Shake It” and I DESPISE THAT SONG but I danced to it all the same, just to not be on the sidelines.

In Your Eyes. On the circle.

Stairway. I was on the circle for a while then danced with Max one last time. Headbanged, held my glowsticks up for the Stairway.

Brightside. Stood as close as possible to the speakers. I heard Faye’s voice, one octave above the rest of ours, and I’m not going to have a voice tomorrow but I don’t give a flying fob.

Forever Young. On the nomore circle. Everyone is crying. I pushed Vira off so she won’t get the curse (if a non-nomore/nevermore goes on the last FY circle, it’s bad luck.) and it might have been a bit of a bitch move by me but she needs to come back.

American Pie. Ran, screamed, “danced real slow” with Joe Lodin who I owe so much to for who I am today, sang every word even when I was out of breath. And I was smiling, until the last ‘DIE DIE DIE DIE” when I realized that I would never yell this again, and I yelled “NO!” I was crying, and Joe was crying, and all the nomores were. I screamed my loudest for “in the streets the children screamed,” yelled “BROKEN CHURCH BELLS DON’T MAKE SOUND” for “clang” and screamed “SO DOES NEW JERSEY” with only the fury of someone who has to go back there the next day. The last chorus went on forever, and I was, for the first time, right in the center of the end.

“AFTERDANCE!” yelled Dan Tracht. It didn’t rain, so the Afterdance was to be outside Thomas. I realized that they didn’t play Iris at the dance, and I started singing it, and Deborah Bakshiyev and Sandra Chen and Brenton Whiting joined in, and no the whole camp did not start singing it but some people did. After I ran out of verses around the end of the footbridge, I sang the chorus all the way back to Thomas in an increasingly shaky voice, scared that if I stopped singing it I would really cry, so much that I couldn’t walk.

Joe wasn’t there for the circle chant, so Dan Tracht led it. Beer stayed in time for once. Eyelashes, Tentacles, Cows. I walked into the center with Arthur for my last Hokey Pokey and started singing “Happy Birthday” to Little Pickle, who turns 16 on maybe the saddest night of the session. Then the last Hokey Pokey, with Cthulhu at the end. Rachel skipped into the center yelling “CTY HAS A NICE BUTT!” and soon Maddie, Faye, Elena, Verity and I were prancing and stripping around the center. They let CTY Has A Nice Butt go on long last year but I think they were scared of having something like 08.2 Passionfruit happen, because they kept it short. I stomped up the stairs of Thomas yelling “CTY HAS A NICE BUTT!” along with all the others, not even stopping when I got to my room but yelling out the window “CTY HAS A NICE BUTT! CTY WE LOVE YOU! I’M NOT GOING TO HAVE A VOICE TOMORROW, I’M NOT GOING TO HAVE A VOICE TOMORROW! CTY WE LOVE YOU! CTY HAS A NICE BUTT! CTY WE LOVE YOU! BUT I DON’T CARE, I DON’T CARE! CTY WE LOVE YOU!” I stopped to yell “HEY IAN MACKINNON, IS VIRA STILL SAVING HERSELF FOR MICHAEL CRAWFORD?” (She is.) But other than that, I screamed it until an RA told me to shut up.

We’re allowed sleepovers. We sketchycalled Ian again, and I pretended to be Alex by yelling “I’M SO NAKED! I’M NAKED!” He actually didn’t believe it was me when I told him, and he said “Loie this isn’t funny!” My Alex impression must be better than I thought.

Thursday (Friday) July 17

I didn’t so much sleep last night as drift in and out of a state of consciousness. Woke up at 5:30, brushed teeth, splashed some water on my face, got my bag and Quotebook, and waited till 6 for Passionfruit. I sat close to the Trinity, next to Ian M., Max and Little Pickle. I spied Ian L. across the green, proving my theory from last night.

I took my Venom to Passionfruit, and consumed it slowly so I wouldn’t crash.

Dan kicked Passionfruit off with his welcome and the spilling of drink on the ground for all who have passed on. Then he speeched about how we should basically do what we love, and fuck the rest. Holy Ghost goes to Sam. Then Sasha, who walked around the circle while talking. Son goes to Turtle. Then Sarah Parr, who made a very short speech while watched by Sarah Hackney’s soul (a clay turtle). Father goes to Rowan. Jester goes to Faye, Stripper to Alex “Prenatal Vitamins” Natale. Elena and Alex Lu made speeches off camera, and the latter of the two sent Ari Brill to walk around within camera range during his speech. JT, Mermelstein, Arthur, and Max made very short speeches. Shoff said hi to all the people he didn’t know (a lot of people knew him this year because of his AI win), and Maddie made her speech in her rock school shirt and bathrobe.

My speech was short. I’ll post the text as soon as the Passionfruit video footage comes out, because I made it up on the fly. All I remember is that it was bookended with counterclockwise spinning (xkcd) to push back time, and the majority of the speech was me talking to myself as I was before CTY.

Little Pickle commented on how she felt tall because she could see over everyone’s heads. Ian M. chugged Bawls. Ian G. made a speech because he wasn’t sure whether he was coming back. Joe started his speech with “Hi, I’m Joe and I’m an alcoholi-wrong speech.” }} Katelin made the best speech at Passionfruit IMO; it was about her Spongebob boxers and how they’ve seen her through seven years. She was in tears by the end. Layna talked for a long time, but it was important for her to get her message out. Miles was the last real speech before the short toasts started because of time.

As I got up for End of the Tour, I noticed that my Venom spilled all over my bag, which means my bag, and hands, shall smell like mangoes until washed. Shall I forever associate the smell of synthetic mangoes with my last Passionfruit?

Then End of the Tour, which was played off Shoff’s bass amp in good sound quality. It was played twice, and I started crying during the second round. I walked to Stager to find no one there, and Rachel showed up a few minutes later. Mike had been waiting on the Quad for us, not knowing we were at Passionfruit. <_< We didn’t have to walk back; Robin called him and everyone came to the room for the party.

Party was listening to music and eating chips with dip, and getting my pants signed by Robin and Mike. Soo had to leave at 10, and I hugged her and told her that if I came to California I’d call her.

Mike played “In Your Eyes” and we all swayed in a circle, and I didn’t cry. He then played the Time Warp, and we all did it. Me and Rachel did Columbia’s part, so I suppose I was sort of Columbia at CTY, if only for the Pop Cult rendition.

I was walking to lunch when I noticed; someone had written “I LOVE YOU” in big Sharpie letters on a Quad path. It was clearly old graffiti, yet I had not noticed it. I then spent 10 minutes dragging over everyone who would see. Went back to the dorm to pack my last things, then had lunch during which Dan Salvato showed up! He stayed in the Alcove for a bit and then went outside, and I decided to follow him and see if any epic 4 square would happen.

On the way out of KIVO, I ran into Shae the RA, who had not signed my pants. While she was signing, the Beatles’ “Let it Be” came over the radio, and the KIVO staff started singing and Shae and I started singing too. It felt magical.

Went outside, turned keys in, and hung out with Dana, Max and Wesley outside North Ben and started a semi-grass orgy that dissolved due to Wesley being a creeper.

Vira left the quotebook in her room! She’ll get it back, but I can’t get a Quotekeepers’ picture. L

Migration happened, and the first real grass orgy of my nomore year happened on the last day. Some RAs gave us dirty looks, but they didn’t do anything because most of the people in it were nomores and they couldn’t do anything to us. My parents showed up in the middle of the grass orgy and were quite amused at how we were supposedly being careful against flu.

We packed the car (elevator wasn’t working so we had to lug suitcases down the steps) and I walked to closing ceremonies. Debbie spoke a bit, DRL Matt spoke a bit, an F+M rep spoke a bit plugging the school, and the HDIS skit performed. It was a parody of House, except with swine flu and flesh eating bacteria. Turtle was House and was very convincingly sarcastic, and Max was Chase and had an adorable fake Aussie accent. The girl who was Cuddy was suitably bossy (Edit by Max: Her name was Ilana) There were a lot of lupus jokes involved. After that the two repeat acts from the talent show went on, which were the diabolo and the Indo-Celtic Anti-Folk, except it wasn’t Indo anymore because the drummer had left.

Dan yelled “afterdance” afterwards, and we went through the Afterdance with a slightly diminished population. However, stripping was to be done during CTY Has a Nice Butt. After the last Afterdance, hugged everyone and talked to people, and took a photo of the Randhahns (Mr. Randhahn seemed to forget that there were four of them now instead of three.) Mom and Dad came out of the ASFC eager to leave, and I didn’t want to leave yet but they insisted. So the last photos of CTY, taken by Dad, are of me being spinny hugged goodbye and crying and smiling at the same time.

Took the Nomore Walk back to the car, as in me dragging my feet but waving goodbye to everyone, and Mom and Dad immediately had questions and I had answers. We went to get some ice cream in a shop that smelled awful, and what could I get but passionfruit flavored water ice?

We drove to Orson, in another part of PA, to pick my brother up, and we’re staying in a little inn with a lot of cats around. Petted the cats, took a walk. I feel like I had a very long dream and am waking up. Was any of this real?

Saturday July 18

Went to pick the brother up at camp, saw his “rock show.” I missed his performance due to being very hungry and getting food, but as I came back the group that was up was playing “I’m Yours.” I will forever think it sounds wrong without a ukulele.

Then was his second performance, the circus show, which was all set to Michael Jackson. He learned to spin plates, and I got pics of him and the other circus performers. I thought they were good pics, but nothing special.

And then they brought out the fire poi.

I put my camera on “rave setting” and snapped away.

THE QUOTEBOOK 2009

CTY.LAN.09.1 Quote Keeper: Zoe Madonna

1. Rachel Larrowe: Go Alyssa!
Sam Reback: Alyssa, go!
Rachel: Do it!
RA Clare: Do we have peer pressure here? (6/28)
2. We can see from feets away. –RA Clare-
3. What if we’re little angels? -Alex Natale-
4. Why would I brag about being Lithuanian? -Alex N.-
5. Being late sometimes is good for the soul, unless it’s your period. –Zoe Madonna-
6. We have been given a fresh start, and the condiments that accompany a fresh start. –SD Debbie-
7. No one has been executed for swinging their lanyard…YET. -Academic Counselors video-
8. Think of the rules as… ‘helpers.’ -DRL Matt-
9. Paris isn’t random! -Margaret Davis-
10. Staff members need to be able to tell in an instant whether you are a CTY student or a ninja spy. –Frank Wang-
11. The final exam will just be to pronounce my last name. –TA Mike Schlegelmilch-
12. Her favorite show is Gossip Girl, which gives us nothing in common. –Seth Gray-
13. Jackson Pollock attacked me. –Sam R.- (6/29)
14. Zoe: The Internet has everything you need.
Margaret: Like pedophiles!
15. Classy with a K. –Margaret-
16. Alliteration! I love alliteration! –Instructor Robin de la Llata-
17. Robin: Now this is interesting.
Alex N: It’s a butt.
18. These women aren’t as enamored of their bottoms. –Rachel-
19. Emos don’t wear green. –Seth-
20. If you wear this watch, you will get laid. I promise. –Alex N.-
21. He’s not married! He doesn’t have the body to be married! –Alex N.-
22. This ad would appeal to Pedobear. –Zoe-
23. Because the kissing rule is two seconds are less, can the rule be described as the 2 second rule as applied to CTYers? –Joe Lodin-
24. Dan, are you flashing people again this year? –Zoe-
25. Awwww! Ryan didn’t orgasm! –Alex “Shoff” Benshoff-
26. Just don’t take your pants off. –Rebecca Christina Catherine “Little Pickle” Kotsonis-
27. Stop trying to rape me! –Wesley Rian-
28. Maryland is just too shitty for people to want to think about it long enough to make it a callback. –Wesley-
29. Zoe: See, that’s the IKEA nesting instinct. It has everything white people like.
Wesley: IKEA has porn now?
30. “gendered patterns of courtship rituals” –textbook-
31. Remember….there is zero indifference for improper coughing techniques. –Thomas Hall whiteboard by AC office-
32. Loie Warren: Are these new headphones?
Ian Garrity: No, they’re old.
Loie: *sigh * They feel new.
33. It smells like paint. –Rachel-
34. If your girlfriend is touching you, you should not be thinking about your mother! –Alex N.-
35. With that face, he looks like a contemplative dinosaur. -Sam R.-
36. The camera has a “male gaze.” –Robin-
37. Ryan is as sharp as a rave stick! (misheard: ray of light) –THEO A-
38. We can be wandering llamas! –Alex N.-
39. Eating a whole tin of mints makes you know what time it is? –Andy Smith-
40. Aren’t I the definition of gay? –Erik Goldberg-
41. The sausage is a good thing. –William Saulnier-
42. Declan Kennedy: Thanks, Zoe. I was really hoping you were gonna stop me before I actually took my shirt off.
Shoff: I wasn’t!
43. Declan: How much was that fedora?
Zoe: $15 plus getting boob tagged by the vendor.
44. Matt Simon: So what are you talking about?
Shoff: Sex!
Matt: Great!
45. Erik: I thought your voice would be deep but instead it’s all WHEEEEEEEE!!
Andy: I think that means “stop talking.”
46. They’re too happy to be making gravy. –Zoe-
47. My mom helped-for-it-bought it. Wow, I….talk good. -Sam R-
48. Zoe: “McDreamy plumber?”
Ian G: That’s the guy on the left.
Rachel: As opposed to the one on the right with no legs.
49. MAKE YOUR CHILDREN LOVE YOU 101 (take them to San Diego) –pop cult poster-
50. –Harmful.
-My refrigerator!
-Apples to Apples-
51. Oh my god, pyramids! –Alex N.-
52. You stuck WHAT? WHERE? –A2A card, “body piercing”
53. Ryan Gossiaux: Is that a female unicorn?
Shoff: I don’t know yet.
54. Is that a purity ring, Alex? –Lilly Clew-
55. If you’re going to assault me, at least do it correctly! –Aleksandr “Sasha” Ayvazov
56. That’s a pretty screwed up Hitler salute. –Wesley-
57. I don’t know what the album is but…RAINBOW! –Erik- (in reference to my Dark Side of the Moon jacket)
58. I’m going to look through this quotebook and think “Another gay comment! Another gay comment! Why are all my comments gay?” –Erik-
59. I’m gonna get to pie Frank in the face! I’m gonna get to pie Frank in the face! –Semon “Russian Sam” Rezchikov-
60. You don’t need to show her bare back to advertise breath mints. –Sydney Speizman-
61. Zoe: Who is that? Is that Katy Perry?
Margaret: No, that’s Katy Perry’s mom!
62. Mr. Dictator is not food! –Elena Karras-
63. Zoe: *extremely high noise*
Max Randhahn: Was that a Pidgey?
64. Oh my God, it sucks being naked in this room! –Loie-
65. There are kids in Siberia, you know! –Sasha- (7/1)
66. GUYS! I am not a scratching post, and you are not kitties! –Sasha-
67. RUSH!
His hair is so lush!
He makes my heart flush!
His generosity makes me gush!
And when he hits me it makes a sound like…SKRUSH!!!
-Joey Botros-
68. Guys, don’t pick on Seth. He doesn’t have a hand fetish. Or a foot fetish. –Margaret-
69. The Rapist? In a box?
-Whut?
-THERAPIST!
-overheard in bookstore-
70. Johnny Tamboro: Who are you?
Zoe: I’m Alex from A Clockwork Orange.
Johnny: Oh. I thought you were an emo person.
71. What? Am I not a pretty fairy too? –Sasha-
72. Maddie Stevens: A bunch of people will run fast…
Rachel: Noooo…
Maddie: They will trot!
73. It’s like being a hippie, but more…sad. –Rachel-
74. Maybe hippies were invented when love was invented. We just didn’t call them hippies yet. –Sasha-
75. Which came first, the hippie or the egg? –Declan-
76. It would be more pleasing if it was bigger. –Sasha-
77. Where Frankfurt at? –Max-
78. I like your thigh. –Layna Gatling-
79. Censorship is fascism! Death to America! I mean…what? –Wesley-
80. It’s a very important theorem! I don’t understand what’s wrong with you people! –Sasha- (7/2)
81. Sasha: Joe, now that you’re a cripple we have to come up with a better scenario.
Joe: I’m thinking bone marrow.
82. I wonder if using me as an armrest counts as PDA. –claim it-
83. You look like a rabid hyena in a bear cap! Drinking coffee! –claim it-
84. We don’t want your swine flu here! –Shoff-
85. Andy: Are you molesting Ryan?
Zoe: No, I’m petting Ryan. Ryan is a cat.
Andy: YOU MOLEST CATS?
86. Antioxidants! And red food coloring! –Lilly-
87. I’ve been looking for a soul mate forever-a guy who can play Slide really fast. He’s out there somewhere, I know it! –Lilly-
88. Is this really awkward, if you know what I mean? –Fifi Yeung-
89. Alex N: I’m going to make my entire target audience Mike.
Sam R: It’s for hipsters?
Alex N: No, it’s for old people.
90. It’s like a grass orgy, but it’s not a grass orgy. –claim it-
91. Where’s my cleavage bear? –Faye Elgart-
92. This is a phallic object, and I wish to blow it up. –Russian Sam-
93. This is no longer phallic, just painful. –Russian Sam-
94. There’s a reason why it’s never lupus. It’s boring. –Sasha-
95. I did not spend half an hour making a penis! –Sasha-
96. Zoe: You’re Nick Marcou’s brother!
Theodore Marcou: I go by Sanchez.
97. Will Frank Wang be a test subject for pickup lines? –ACW (Art of Courting and Wooing)
98. Wanna get scolded by MY Frank Wang? –Katelin Schutz-
99. HIMYNAMEISJESSEBORINGANDMYMOMSAYSI’DMAKEAREALLYGOODHUSBAND! –AC Jesse-
100. –Can I say a pickup line?
-If it’s appropriate.
-Then what’s the point?
-ACW-
101. –What do you do if you like someone in your class?
Russian Sam: SURPRISE! Buttsecks!
102. What do you do about pimps? –claim it, ACW-
103. Jesse: Imagine the most precious thing in the world walking around on the earth.
Russian Sam: A walking electron microscope!
104. Jesse: Don’t break up over the phone, or online.
Russian Sam: Especially not on 4Chan!
105. Once I realize that a girl is dumping me, I interrupt her, say “I’m dumping you,” and walk away. –Joey B-
106. Frank Wang is married to the Universe. –Shoff-
107. I wrote the best selling self help book of all time: How To Masturbate Your Way to a Bigger Penis. –Anonymous staff member-
108. Everything everyone said in my dreams was written by Oscar Wilde. –Rachel-
109. They’re boys. They may be pretty but they’re stupid. Because they’re boys. –Zoe-
110. With a name like that, you have to start a Celtic metal band! –Zoe (in reference to Ceilidh Blood)
111. YOU’RE IRISH! –Colin Stanfill (reaction to seeing Ceilidh’s ID card)
112. Just because she’s blonde doesn’t mean anything. –Margaret-
113. She’s got two concubines. All the rest of you are just odalisques. –Zoe-
114. Who’s a good good boy from copular pulture? –Rachel-
115. Totes was, all the way, man! –Alex N.-
116. LGBT, as in Lay, Gesbian, Bi, Trans. –RA Shannon-
117. RA Shannon: Has everyone heard about Chanel’s purple duck umbrella?
Everyone:*groan*
118. Hi Joe! I can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! –Faye (7/3)
119. I love getting impromptu showers in the middle of breakfast! –Russian Sam-
120. Alex N: I’m representing Lithuanians on CTY Loves Day.
Sam R: Are you Lithuanian?
Alex N: No!
121. She poked my liver! –Layna-
122. “mesomorphically chiseled” –Pop Cult
123. Have you seen the big bad booty daddy Scott Steiner lately? He’s totally brolic. –TA Mike-
124. My water bottle makes really weird noise, like a fish tank. –Lilly-
125. I adopted a squirrel. Her name is Rachel. And she is small and I am small and my name is Rachel. –Rachel-
126. He can read Curious George, you guys. Just sayin. –Loie-
127. If only I were straight! That would have been a good scene. –Erik-
128. I know 12 ways to kill a man with a lemon. –Max (AI, Park Bench)-
129. Maddie: What are you?
Elena: The carcass of Park Bench!
130. I wish I’d gotten vaccinated! –claim it (AI, unknown game)
131. Elena: You’re a handcuff slut!
Maddie: No, you are a handcuff slut! Remember the first day we got these?
132. This is my roommate Chris and if he’s not funny I’ll murder him in his sleep! –Sasha-
133. The handcuffs are raping both of you. –Russian Sam-
134. Do the Colin kid! –Elena-
135. This guy’s allergic to capitalism! –Sasha (AI, Party Quirks)-
136. You have a door made of human flesh. –Sasha (AI, Party Quirks)-
137. Money is bad. You should move to China.-Alex K. (AI, Park Bench)-
138. Good old American bondage doesn’t exist anymore. –Maddie-
139. I’m sure that if Al Gore was a bunny, he’d be offended. –Andy-
140. All pronouns should be encased in protection! –Elena-
141. 199 US babies! –Alex Lu-
142. I’m not good with English! –Elena-
143. The term is dictatorship, not monarchy, as Mr. Dictator is Mr. Dictator, not Mr. Monarch! –Turtle-
144. I protest all people offended by my sign! Recursion recursion recursion! –Turtle-
145. Players who can’t count will be awarded 1/9 of one penance point. –Elena-
146. By the end of the night, I will be fit for human consumption. –Sam Bauman-
147. Now I know I’m in Pennsylvania! I can see Pennsylvania! –Owen Whitney-
148. You’re like a teddy bear, but cuter! –Erik- (7/4)
149. Zoe: Inventor of the time cube.
Claim it: Sarah Palin!
Max: Probably.
150. –Dramatic.
-Microsoft!
-A2A-
151. I kissed a nerd and I liked it! –Erik-
152. Helen Keller would be the best fetish ever. –Turtle-
153. I’m pregnant with almost everyone on campus. –Shoff-
154. I’m sorry for being a spazz-turner-into-er. –Little Pickle-
155. That witchcraft book is amazing. It puts science in quotes! –Sarah Parr-
156. Dot dot dot, BITCHES. –Shoff, Turtle-
157. Pertussis: techno remix! –Turtle-
158. I act like myself until I’m trying to get into a bar. Then I act 21. –Shoff-
159. I’ll tag my own boobs, thank you very much! –Layna-
160. I’m like the goose in the middle of the Universe. –Faye-
161. It hurts! Like the ice pick, it hurts! –Sasha-
162. And then FRANK WANG came. –Sasha-
163. I guess I’ll just talk to Erik’s legs now. –Maddie-
164. Ridiculousness ! Creativity! Ice picks! -Russian Sam-
165. BROTIME! –Brotime-
166. You can just go to Amish country and play calf tag there! –Brandon Carreno-
167. I don’t think I’ve worn pants for all of CTY. –Faye-
168. My butt is dancing. –Sam Reback
169. Zoe: In Germany, drinking age is 16.
Erik: And sex age is…
Sasha: Four. (7/5)
170. Were the words “Sasha’s such a fox” involved? –Arther Schechter
171. Something can be larger than your eyeballs and still be suckable. –Faye-
172. Ari Brill: What’s worse than a worm in your apple?
Everyone: Half a worm in your apple!
Ari: The Holocaust!!
173. He gets compared to Sonic the Hedgehog because he has spiky hair and a lot of glitter. –Ceilidh Blood-
174. “Fwappage” –Little Pickle-
175. I’m afraid of Camden. Like, legit. –Maddie-
176. I can’t hear you! I have too much money in my hand! –RA Joey-
177. On a scale of one to supermodel, we’re, like, supermodel. –Alex N.-
178. It’s over 9000 calories! –RA Will-
179. Unlike the cake, the pie is not a lie! –RA Will-
180. Oh, this is where the squirrel attacked me! –girl on Quad-
181. My headphones just got dissed! –Ceilidh-
182. It’s the most romantic song ever written about male prostitution. –Zoe-
183. Girls are so weird! Why can’t they be normal people like guys? –claim it (RA, male)-
184. He flashed himself in the mouth at full power- Sam B. (7/6)
185. That’s such a lousy package! I thought you’d have a bigger one. –Little Pickle-
186. If I get anywhere near a vagina, my face will break out in a “OMG it’s a woman” rash. –Erik-
187. You’re allergic to females? –Andy-
188. World leaders are not a dump truck, they’re a series of Jews! –Turtle-
189. 4chan is not a dump truck, it’s a series of n00bs! –Turtle-
190. The internet is not a dump truck, it’s a series of pedo-oh wait, that doesn’t work. –Josh Mermelstein-
191. We’re having camera group sex with midgets! –Dan T.-
192. Your camera and mine should have a lovefest. –Dan T.-
193. Camera voyeurism! –Sam B.-
194. Rapes in public squares have drastically reduced. –Dan T.-
195. My tassels are not boobs! –Sam B.-
196. Declan: For SCIENCE!
Ryan: That’s not science!
197. He has perfect hair! It’s so perfect-y! –Vira Shao-
198. Men in masks! Gotta love them! –Vira-
199. I think you’re allergic to essays. –Andrew Han-
200. This is the first time I’ve ever had tofu that tastes like chicken. –Omar Solaiman-
201. That squirrel’s eating wood. –claim it-
202. Wait. How are hawks eating squirrels and jazzing in your pants connected? –Andy-
203. No! You stopped the jizzing! –Ryan Gossiaux-
204. Are you a Mormon dancer? –me-
205. Rough hewn, alone. Sometimes on a horse. But he had his cigarettes, and later, his cancer.
206. Seth: Boobs.
Robin: BOOOOBS!
207. Can you help me fit my Bawls into a CTY appropriate joke? –Arthur- (AI, Park Bench)
208. You know, because of this collarbone, I haven’t been able to shower in days. Wanna help me? –Joe L.- (AI, Park Bench)
209. I challenge you to a battle of Bawls! –Claim it (AI, Park Bench)-
210. –Can I see your Bawls?
-Don’t hit them!
-*whack*
-They’re already blue!
-AI, Freeze-
211. Claim it: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, how do I not get swine flu?
-One.
Must.
Remove.
Bacon.
From.
Your.
Various.
Orifices.
Period.
-Sphinx-
212. Claim it: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, where can I find more PowerThirst?
Faye: In.
Verity: Your.
Shoff: Mother’s…

• pause*
  

Joe L.: PANTRY!!!!!
213. Oh great! Mighty! Excellent! Beautiful! But not very humble Sphinx! –Ari-
214. Claim it: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, what’s in KFC’s special sauce?
Sphinx: Only.
The.
Universe.
‘s.
Fluids.
Period.
215. Claim it: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, do you ever get tired of answering idiotic questions?
Sphinx: Only.
When.
You.
Ask.
Them.
216. Why won’t it work? I used the Master Ball! –CLAIM IT! (AI, World’s Worst Kidnapper)
217. OH HOT DANG!
Here’s Frank Wang!
The scariest of all the S R As!
You swing your chain, he turns around,
The next you know you going down, down, down down….-Katherine [Something]- (AI, World’s Worst Rapper)
218. I just ate an orange! –Shoff- (AI, World’s Worst Rapper)
219. I support interspecies mating. –Ryan-
220. Napalm is not a good thing to fry burgers in. –claim it- (Improv w/Props)
221. I consider myself a post chauvinist. I don’t even know what that is. –Ryan-
222. Zoe: I miss my sister.
Sam B: I miss your sister too.

• pause*
  

Sam B: And now I feel like I’m in an xkcd comic.
223. Nooooooo! I only want Michael Crawford’s baby! –Vira-
224. Go get blinded. –Joe L.-
225. Wesley: I am such a dumbass!
Ceilidh: Didn’t we establish this already?
226. I’m going to go finish listening to God now. –Sam B-
227. Mongoose, can you pass the condiments that go along with a fresh start? –Sam B.-
228. You put it in your mouth and play with it. –Shoff- (it was a Jew’s harp)
229. It tickles and it hurts, like an orgasm! –overheard. Claim it. Or not.-
230. What the fuck does a solstice taste like? –Faye-
231. What is unisex underwear? –Margaret-
232. Real men don’t glitter. –Max-
233. oh goody! I evoke thoughts of botched oral sex! –Arthur-
234. Come here! I want to sing you Happy Birthday in Greek! –Little Pickle-
235. It looks like someone had a baby on your carpet. –Loie-
236. Oh look, it’s made in Japan! That explains a few things. –claim it-
237. How do you like my new Vietnamese jungle boots? –AI (Park Bench)-
238. I love Intercourse too! –AI (Park Bench)
239. I use any pronouns that are traditionally used for humans. –Dana Katznelson-
240. I’m Maddie. I have necklace OCD. –Maddie-
241. The way to win an argument with you is to appeal to Michael Crawford. –Ryan-
242. I will shun you in class until you start begging me for my proofs again! –Midori Cassou-
243. 404: Baby not found. –Declan-
244. Swiper no swiping? STOP TORTURING THE POOR FOX! –Russian Sam-
245. Do you have anything in your quotebook relating to Colin’s penis balloon? –Andy-
246. It’s nothing to do with me putting on leather. Don’t worry. –Russian Sam-
247. I’m asking everyone who’s not a white girl. –Deborah Bakshiyev-
248. Colin: Oww! It hurts!
Ryan: Rape usually does.
249. You saved Sydney from herself! –Robin-
250. We just trust Sideshow and say “Yeah, that makes sense! –Mermelstein- (7/8)
251. Dan T: I bet no one can guess who was in my dream last night!
Shoff: Me?
Dan T: No.
Shoff: The Hedgepuss?
Dan: FUCK YOU!
252. You can’t eat your cleavage hook! –Dan T.-
253. Cleavage hooks may only be worn by men with hairy chests and they ability to make cleavage. –Dan T.-
254. It’s a candy cane down your shirt. Of course it’s awkward. –Declan-
255. Our moobs can be mooby together. –Dan T.-
256. It was an interesting experience, like “I DIDN’T SLEEP IN MY BED AT ALL THIS ENTIRE SEMESTER.” –Frank Wang-
257. Zoe: You’re adorable!
Vira: I know!
258. Rachel: Hannah Montana! That’s made to sell.
Alex N: Are you kidding me?? THAT’S ART.
259. Claim it: Carlisle closed due to swine flu!
Brandon: Citation needed!
260. This isn’t a circle anymore, it’s an amoeba. –Megan Willons-
261. Ryan: A roofie is a drink with a date rape drug in it.
Vira: Like Viagra?
Ryan: That’s not a date rape drug!
262. Carlisle is not a dump truck, it’s a series of flus! –claim it. Or not.-
263. Zoe: It’s NOT SWINE FLU!
William: But we can act like news reporters and say it is, panic, stick it on Fox News, and accompany it with ads for prostate medicine!
264. 12:34:56 7/8/09 –on board-
265. It’s the swine flu knocking. –Alex N.-
266. After you sneeze use Purell please! –on board-
267. Ernie Ball accidentally Daddy! –Claim it (AI, Park Bench)
268. Bill Fedullo: I accidentally Carlisle!
Dan T.: The whole site?

-AI, Park Bench-

269. –Bawls is an energy drink, not an innuendo!
-You sure?
-I can help you find out!
-AI, Park Bench-
270. Park bench is not a dumptruck, it’s a series of memes! –CLAIM IT (AI, Park Bench, obviously)
271. Sharp Object is phallic! –Arthur-
272. Dan T: I’m feeling Arthur today!
Shoff: ME TOO!
Dan T.: Not in the same way as me, Shoff!
273. What was the peak like? –Dan T. (AI, Press Conference-Arthur drank all the Bawls on campus)-
274. Did you include yours and those of others? –claim it (AI, Press Conference)-
275. –WHY ARE YOU LATE?
-Erm…I was doing the Macarena?
-AI, Late to Work-
276. You were on a boat made of zombies? –claim it (AI, Late to Work)-
277. Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, why are you made of n00bs today? –claim it-
278. Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, how many nuns could s nunchuk chuck if a nunchuk could chuck nuns?
279. You are the cutest zombie ever! –Zoe-
280. does anyone here have balls? –RA Shannon-
281. What do we do with a drunken sailor, What do we do with a drunken sailor, What do we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning? Set Frank Wang on the drunken sailor, Set Frank Wang on the drunken sailor, Set Frank Wang on the drunken sailor, early in the morning!
282. You yell at me and then you’re screaming penis! –claim it-
283. Mike, are you afraid of parasites? –Alex N.-
284. TA Mike: My girlfriend doesn’t shave her legs.
Alex N.: AWWWWW! You have a girlfriend!
285. I have childbearing hips. –Rachel (about Sasha)-
286. Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, where do squirrels come from? –AI-
287. Zoe: Are those glowsticks?
Turtle: God, I hope so!
288. Hey Shoff, if the dance is in the ASFC, and it’s unannounced beforehand, is it s00prize! Buttsecks? –Turtle
289. 2+2=5…for extremely large values of 2. –Wesley’s shirt-
290. Wait, who’s talking about syphilis? –Margaret-
291. Were you there when I grabbed his junk? –Erik-
292. –She has no legs!
-Be a mermaid!
-Be Lieutenant Dan!
-people in reference to Ariel-
293. Come here, you foxy muffin, you! –Zoe-
294. Just touching your wrists! –Robin-
295. Ian touches people like he touches cats. Wait, WHAT? –Zoe-
296. Dimby lost for our sins! –THEO B-
297. No! Jesus! Don’t stick it in my ear! –Maddie-
298. He’s a pussy monster. He’s like Cookie Monster, but for pussy! –Arthur-
299. I saw one of your status updates. It said “I like Chinese, and little boys,” –Alex N.-
300. Who wants to go rape Aaron with me? –claim it-
301. Please don’t sit on my face! –Max-
302. When the stars are in alignment, you may get a squeak from me. –Max-
303. Death is CTYI. –claim it. It was at AI but not in a game.-
304. You have to understand this relationship isn’t working. (I’m cheating!) –Sasha (AI, Freeze)-
305. Dan T.: Run, Maddie!
Joe L: Run Forrest Run!
Maddie: I hate that movie!
306. Claim It: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, Kirk or Picard?
Elena: For what?
307. Maddie: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, can you give my friend here a brain, and my friend here a heart, and my friend here courage, and can you bring me home to Kansas?
-No!
-What?
-NO!
-N-O!
-Never!
-Period.
-AI, Sphinx-
308. Claim it: Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, has anyone ever made fanfic about you?
-Rule.
-34.
-7.
-Hyphen.
-2.
-Yeah.
-Period.
-AI, Sphinx-
309. –Octopuses.
-Love.
-To.
-Spring.
-Forth.
-From.
-Maddie.
-Period.
-AI, Sphinx-
310. I identify as a person with feelings. –GLOWer-
311. Article 4, section 1. Go home and pass the AP Gov/Pol test. –GLOWer TA-
312. Can I do a niggly thing? –another GLOWer TA- (there were a lot)
313. “schmarriage” –RA Shae-
314. I could marry a gay man in California right now. –RA Kirsten-
315. Reindeer: Not in the Bible. –Sarah-
316. Do you need anybody? I want some Schlegelmilch to love! –Ian G.- (sung to the tune of With A Little Help from my Friends)
317. I always thought that “tracts of land” would work better if it related to that other part of girls-I mean, “I am plowing your tracts of land!” -Ryan-
318. Spandex solves all the world’s problems. –Alex N.-
319. Ian, you look like a strange bird. –Rachel-
320. My pineal gland is made of God. –Miles Frankel-
321. Today was leprosy day. –Sam B.-
322. We have cripple
wretched cripple
yelling through night
what a waste of life
we have cripple
wretched cripple
Yah!
-Sasha- 323. I exist. Accept my existence. –Russian Sam- (7/10)
324. CTYers may be geniuses, but none of them cam spell “monogamy.” –Arthur-
325. Lolcats stoled my grammarz. Oh noes! –LOGC graffiti-
326. If a collection of empty trees falls in an empty forest and no one is there to hear, is it a memory leak? –logic graffiti-
327. Frank sniped me from 300 feet. –Seth-
328. …my black lacy leather pajamas. –Russian Sam-
329. I’m so obese! –Vira-
330. You should sleep somewhere where you won’t get raped. –Ryan-
331. –I lose! Damn you, Wesley!
-Fob you Wesley Rian!
-Who the hell is Pierre?
-reactions to Keiper graffiti-
332. I’m not squishing ants, I’m spooning them –Ryan-
333. Have you seen this guy throw a Frisbee? HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY THROW A FRISBEE? –Robin-
334. He’s 21 and he goes to Upenn and he scares the hell out of me! But I love him anyway so I got him Starbucks yesterday! –Vira-
335. There are always more virgins. –Alex Lu-
336. Stop getting high off of potato chips. –Dan T.-
337. First post! First post! First post! –claim it- (AI, Park Bench)
338. Katelin will be on the park bench…with drugs. –Claim it.-
339. Zoe: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Shoff: Can I buy you?
-AI, Park Bench-
340. Claim it: Hey, I heard that just because you heard it on the Internet doesn’t make it funny!
Claim it: Lolwut?
-AI, Park Bench-
341. Watch the RAs in their natural habitat! –Shoff- (AI, Freeze)
342. I’m not strangling you, I’m just giving you a neck massage! –Bill-
343. Scrub his memory out with Oxyclean!-Dan
344. Describing human reproduction is not okay, but EATING BABIES is fine? –Sarah-
345. How is babby eaten? –Shoff-
346. Claim it: That’s PDA!
Shoff: Not mod 3!
347. Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, if I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, where does your mother fit into this? –Zoe-
348. Center for Talented Xylophones. –claim it-
349. Oh, so this is acupuncture? -Yida Cai-
350. It’s about incest…in CANADA! –Shoff-
351. My skirt will NOT be used for bondage! –Zoe-
352. Whoever can rhyme “style” with “pow” has to learn to SPEAK ENGLISH! –Wesley Rian-
353. Something has happened! Black Eyed Peas is evolving! –Sam B-
354. Anyone want to massage it? –Margaret-
355. Now my retarded pinkie is up by itself! –Alex N-
356. There’s crumbs up my BUTT HOLE! –Alex N-
357. I’M NAKED! I’M SO NAKED! –Alex N-
358. Wrong day for a tour? –F and M tourist- (7/11, Second Saturday)
359. Turtle hypothesizes that I’ll explode. –Sam B-
360. CTY has a nice butt! CTY we love you! I sound like I smoke, I sound like I smoke! CTY we love you! –Arthur-
361. I probably inadvertently caused a bomb scare. –Dana-
362. Russian Sam, your boobs are so perky! –Declan-
363. Where were you with your quotebook during the conversation about how Aaron needs to put his boob back on his feet? –Wesley-
364. My boobs are bigger than yours. –Aaron-
(NOTE: At bottom of this page is a very sketchy looking stain with a line around it. The stain and line have an arrow pointing to them and the words “BIOHAZARD (was in Shoff’s mouth)” are written next to it.
365. Why do dresses get shorter in the back?? –Joey B-
366. If some people have pet rocks, I can have half a pet mouse. –Magician at Central Market-
367. This will make Ian sparkle, like Edward Cullen. –Claim it-
368. Aren’t you wearing clothes underneath your clothes? –Brandon-
369. My crotch already hurts enough. –Sasha-
370. Hey wait! I can stand! –Sasha-
371. Oh my god, circulation to balls. –Sasha-
372. I decided my previous outfit wasn’t scandalous enough. –Sanchez-
373. People told me I look like I have three nipples. –claim it-
374. You have a monthly shower? –claim it-
375. Wesley, you cannot do boobs. –Dana-
376. I haven’t grabbed your boobs in an attempt to make you flip a damn HAT before! –Wesley-
377. Turtle: What’s you name on the name train?
Wesley: 3.14159265358979323…
Turtle: Pi! Pi! Pi pi pi! Hop on the name train!
378. Turtle: What’s your name on the name train?
Zoe: Stop! Don’t touch me there! This is my private…
Turtle: Old meme! Old meme! Old meme old meme old meme! Hop on the name train!
379. Turtle: What’s YOUR name on the name train?
Sam B.: YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!

• charges name train*
  
• name train=dead*
  

380. It’s nice to know someone who has equally as much sex as I do! –Erik-
381. What’s this about an ICE PICK, Sasha? –Wesley-
382. We’re being relatively happy and listening to the Velvet Underground. –Joey F.- (7/12)
383. I saw Ian as Frank and I…JIZZED. IN MY PANTS. –Erik-
384. Holy fuck sandwich with fuck on top! –Sam B.-
385. I have the edible one. –Shoff-
386. God is cubeless. –Shoff-
387. Right after you make the Pertussis Techno Remix. –Sam B.-
388. “His gaze that of a bad tempered leper…” Ian Mackinnon reading “adult book”
389. Well, the guy has wings. Maybe that other guy can turn into a leopard! –Maddie-
390. You turned the page and the first words I saw were “spanked her ass.” –Wesley-
391. Don’t be sorry, be HEALTHY! –Vira-
392. Tell Ryan he’s still my false idol. –Joey F.-
393. Then I’ll look like an Intercourse whore! –Alex N-

394. Hooray for parliamentary procedure! –Sam B.-
395. Do you remember the three Rs from childhood? Repetition, Redundancy, Repetition?
396. –It’s porn!

-With wings!

-And words!
-And lepers!
-Claim them-
397. Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka… -Turtle-
398. Sasha (reading Those Darn Squirrels): They drank cherry cola and ate salt and vinegar chips to help them stay awake.
Claim it: No Bawls?
399. Just kind of a disclaimer: this is not my life story. –Sasha
400. If you watch Firefly backwards, the execs are still assholes. -Sasha-
401. If you read this thread backwards, it’s still not funny!-Turtle
402. “Old Comrade Fookweier…” –Sasha-
403. Come on, angels! We can do this! We can PRETEND to do this! –RA Clare-
404. I don’t think the author of Charlotte’s Web wrote that epic. –Zoe-
405. QUOTE NOT FOUND
406. The Mad Hatter’s hair was white. I know because I find it terribly attractive. -Vira-
407. Frank, we thought you were the princess! –Claim it-
408. We’re not taking our shirts off! –Little Pickle-
409. Zoe: $140 for that?
Rachel: It’s RUSSIAN!
410. She has no name, therefore she is “fruit flavored loops.” –Quanah Potts-
411. We have Dimby/great big Dimby/teaching through night/she beautiful sight/we have Dimby/great big Dimby. YAH! –THEO B-
412. Bowser kidnapped Peach and brought her to the Coney Island Disco Palace! –William-
413. I’m at the power plant! I’m at the orphanage! I’m at the combination power plant and orphanage! –Alcove-
414. Tom Riddle’s bisexual? –Turtle-
415. My IQ points are floating away. I can see them in the trees. –Aneesa Sonawalla-
416. Fanfic: My friend B’loody Mary Smith…there’s an apostrophe there…
Max: Is she a Klingon?
417. Best autobiography ever. –Alex Lu-
418. Is Madam Pomfrey also a Satanist? –Max-
419. V. I supposed that means very? Or victimized? Or vagina? –Russian Sam-
420. That was the exact same chapter! Including the bondage! –Russian Sam-
421. Black! Blood red miniskirt! –Russian Sam-
422. Treat the dining hall staff better than you treat your own mama. –announcements-
423. Whenever a programmer does something and you don’t know how they did it, it was Perl. –Sam B- (7/13)
424. I’m very glad Tara Gilesbie will never meet Campbell. –Sam B.-
425. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle but with tenses. –Rachel-
426. Orwell would kill you. –Seth-
427. If you do this, you will have a good relationship, with a cute guy that has a soft face that you can touch. –Rachel-
428. –I’m the only one who tried to make realistic lesions and not gunshot wounds.
-I like my gunshot wounds!
-HDIS kids-
429. This has been part of my life since I was this high. *holds hand at knee height*My daddy farted a lot. –Russian Sam-
430. I changed all of my interests and now I come off as, like, wiggy. –Seth-
431. My country is “sexy Peru.” –Seth-
432. Got loli? –I don’t know who said it first. Claim it!-
433. Claim it:…in a big-ass rock.
Turtle: What’s an ass-rock?
434. Property of Enemy Enoby EBONY –Alex Lu’s sign-
435. Noporn!noporn!noporn! What? –Max-
436. Would you like to buy a ShamWOW? –claim it- (AI, Park Bench)
Max: If that’s not a euphemism, I don’t know what is.
437. Joke I say at every AI! Joke I say at every AI! –Dan T.- (AI, Park Bench)
438. Hi, I forgot who I borrowed my clothes from on Second Saturday. Could you try this bra on? –Russian Sam- (AI, Park Bench)
439. GIMME YOUR WALLET AND EXPLAIN THE FIVE RULES OF NATURAL NUMBERS! –Shoff- (AI, game unknown)
440. Arthur: Hi, I don’t have any jokes, but could you recommend some fanfic I could quote from?
Turtle: We have mean joke! Stupid mean joke!
441. When you spin your math test around it doesn’t make more sense. –Sasha-
442. Next time you dress up, put stilettos on instead of those high boots! –RA Shannon- (AI, Freeze. Partner was Erik.)
443. Mafia has evolved into Silent Football! –Sam B.-
444. Humping the window will make it all better. –claim it-
445. That’s too goffik for us. –Russian Sam-
446. Srs business done. Back to fanfic porn! –Andy-
447. Porn? Where? –Wesley-
448. No! There’s no more porn! Oh, wait, there is. –Claim it-
449. I think they’re like those black platinum leather boots. –Ben Reis-
450. He loves my beautiful shin too much to do that. –Turtle- (7/14)
451. We should put these in a database and sort them by date, who said them, and awesome rating. –Turtle-
452. Sam B.: TURTLE YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE FOREVER!
Max: What did he do?
Sam B.: He told me how he wishes people happy birthday.
Turtle: Happy reminder your parents had sex day!
453. Overweight for an Asian! –Vira-
454. I do not want to shave my pubes, or armpit hair, or any more parts of me. –Sasha-
455. You have friends that are normal and don’t sit around on weekends listening to Flight of the Conchords. –Sasha-
456. The phrase “here are my pants” occurs more at CTY than you may think.-Max-
457. Don’t you hate it when guys come up behind you and start rape dancing? –Alyssa Staats-
458. I don’t think that improper fractions can be used for bondage, at least not in any way I know of. –Joe L-
459. Sex doesn’t have that scent. –Ian M.-
460. Stop it! The Hedgepuss is not a rape pillow! –Verity Walsh-
461. Are you aware that there is a lack of CTYA jokes pertaining to this? –Alex Lu- (AI, Press Conference: Rachel discovered the element of surprise)
462. Did I discover a new element pertaining to Elena? –Rachel L.- 9AI, Press Conference)
463. Are you aware that you’re so close that it hurts? –Dan T.-(AI, press conference)
464. Claim it: O Great and Mighty Sphinx, does size have any proportion to coherence?
-Well. –Absolutely. –Not. –That. –I –Know. –Pumpkin.
465. Hi, I’m Vira and I like Ross’s glasses. –Vira, GLOW-
466. Does anyone know how far away China is from America? –Sydney-
467. Hi Sanchez! You were awesome last night! –Zoe- (7/15)
468. I want to learn Morse code, so if I ever end up having sex… -Andy-
469. This is a sad song! –Erik- (reacting to Rickroll)
470. It’s never too early for Brokenside! –Mermelstein-
471. Hymens don’t bust from being looked at. –Andy-
472. Turtle: It’s a furry fomite!
Max: But an adorable furry fomite!
473. Turtle: Do you want head lice! Yes I want head lice! Do you want Arthur?
Arthur: RAWR!
474. WHERE’S THE QUOTEBOOK WHEN YOU NEED IT? Maddie recited an ode to Elena’s vagina! –Sam B.-
475. Come on guys. It’s not like I went online, ordered “pants Megan Fox wears in Transformers,” and had them sent here! –Alex N.-
476. It can go from giving birth to a whale to crab soccer. –Dan T.
477. How can I molest a small child in a non-CTYI way? –Elena-
478. I hate finishing cough drops. –Fifi Yeung-
479. Stop feeling the hardness of my legs. –Andrew-
480. Wasians vs. Wasians. –Seth-
481. Is that a sexist comment? –Pop Cult-
482. RECURSION RECURSION RECURSION RECURSION… -Everyone-
483. All because of sexism! –TA Mike-
484. Phallic crystal is phallic. –Brenton Whiting-
485. Can I have a caramel machiatto, hobbit style? –instructor Bryan Cardella-
486. Who likes opera? I like it fine, but I'd like it better if they stuck translators nexxt to every singer so you could tell what they were talking about. Like this. *Italian singing, tenor* Where were you last night? *Italian singing, soprano* I was with your brother Luigi! –Bryan Cardella-
487. *Italian singing, tenor* You are a female dog and should go copulate with yourself! (Audience laughs) That was CTYI. Maybe. –Bryan Cardella-
488. Ross Perot! “Can I finish, Larry, can I finish?” None of you get that, but that’s OK! –Bryan Cardella-
489. “Indo-Celtic Anti-Folk” –Sarah Parr, Arthur Schechter and (what was his name?)’s title at talent show-
490. Support for this podcast comes from Allied Bank. –talent show-
491. Zoe: Which RA is that?
Max: I think it’s a prep.
492. It’s the most prestigious pickle presentations festival in the world. –RA Joey at talent show-
493. RA Joey: they have some cult that dress in bathrobes called the Alcave!
RA Charlie: I think that’s “Alcove.”
RA Joey: No, I think it’s “Alcave.” Like the terrorist group.
494. Sorry, we don’t allow nuts here. –Ian G-
495. DEATH NOTE SHIRT! DEATH NOTE SHIRT! –girls on stairs on the way back from ASFC-
496. You never know how many calories you burn building a chair. –Lilly-
497. BAD straight boy! –Erik-
498. Nooooo! Leave my orifices alone! –Max-
499. That should be a Presidential campaign. In every man’s hair, a fornicating bunny! –Max-
500. Shoff: My fellow Americans, God is Cubeless!
Ari: That’s not funny. You can’t tell the difference between that and George Bush’s actual speeches.
501. One part cranberry, two parts orange juice, five parts root beer, it’s delicious. –Joe L., Mongoose-
502. Pika-shoes! –Pop Cult blackboard-
503. If you finish early, write a sonnet about what you’ve learned. –TA Mike-
504. When I get home, I’m going to put you in my interests on Facebook, Mike! –Seth-
505. Zoe: If I get 4 more quotes, I will have gotten 42 quotes today.
Alex N: *glare* I bleed baby oil.
506. “Def Semiotix Jam” –TA Mike-
507. Victoria exploded on me! –girl in stairwell-
508. Contrary to popular belief, the phrase “go copulate with yourself” is CTYI. Don’t even think about it. –announcements-
(So I didn’t get 42 quotes…*sadface* Vira you’d better do that next year.)
509. If you wear this, you have an automatic “get some” guarantee. –Mongoose- (Quote 20: Recursion recursion recursion!)
510. Beer fighting cancer? The world is coming to an end. –Russian Sam-
511. Large man hug! Large man hug! Large man hug! –large men-
512. LARGE MAN BABIES! LARGE MAN BABIES! LARGE MAN BABIES! –large men-
513. Ian, I wish you were my little mixed baby. –Alex N-
514. This song is way too long for imaginary glowsticks. –Mongoose-
515. Beep beep….vvvvvvvvvt! –Arthur- (Arthur: there is a Frank Zappa album on which that actually happens. Listen to Joe’s Garage.)
516. We’ll have an intellectual orgy right now. –Robin-
517. Can we have it on the floor? –Robin-
518. It’s a letter, but it’s also something else…because of convergence! –Rachel-
519. Alex N.: You abandon us for Ian that quickly?
Erik: Sorry guys, none of you have a penis like he does!
520. Hello! I’m Sasha! I am your son. –Sasha-
521. I live my life like I live a giant AI game. –Sasha-
522. Life would have no point if I knew what was going on. –Sasha-
523. You know what I say to all of you? *looks around* Hey Shae! *laughter, then more pause* Just go copulate with yourself! –Dan T-
524. Dan T: Thanks for missing part of my speech!
Rachel: I thought you were done! I needed sugar!
525. And to continue the theme of absolute pleasure, we have… -Mermelstein-
526. So. Happiness. If I had a monkey in one hand and a muffin in the other, I’d be pretty happy. –Elena-
527. Hi, I’m Verity. Do you want sexual or depressing? –Verity-
528. Just say it relates QED. –Ari-
529. Speeches with content mean responsibility. I condemn that! –Mongoose-
530. All right Ian, let me have my two seconds of fame! –Alex N.-
531. Birdhouse In Your Soul: Countless screaming Argonauts…
THEO B, Turtle, Mongoose: FATALITY!
532. CTY HAS A NICE BUTT!
CTY WE LOVE YOU!
I’M NOT GOING TO HAVE A VOICE TOMORROW, I’M NOT GOING TO HAVE A VOICE TOMORROW!
CTY WE LOVE YOU!
CTY HAS A NICE BUTT!
CTY WE LOVE YOU!
BUT I DON’T CARE, I DON’T CARE!
CTY WE LOVE YOU!
–Zoe- (shouted from Thomas 3)
533. Robin is such a MILF! I’m JK guys. I actually am. –Margaret-
534. Zoe, are we compatible? Can we have children? –Lilly-
535. I think that George Bush would have been such a better president if someone rubbed him down in baby oil. –Alex N-
536. Stand up if I love you. THAT MEANS ALL OF YOU. –Dan T.- (7/17)
537. I brought the soul of Sarah Hackney for you all to revel in. –Sarah Parr-
538. You can eat me if worse comes to worse. –Dan T-
539. Hatred is so cute! –Rachel-
540. Dan T: Don’t take off your clothes.
Rachel: But Dan…
Dan T: Well, all of them, anyway.
541. I’m trying here! They gave me coffee drink! –Rachel-
542. And now to fulfill my Blammo needs, I will pick this up *picks orgasm juice up* and carry it around while I talk! –Sasha-
543. There are two ways to live: as if nothing is a miracle and if everything is a miracle. –Winston Churchill, quoted in Sasha's speech. Breaking the original content rule beacuse it's that awesome.-
544. I know what I want, and I hope it’s OK, and I have to take my calculator out of my pocket. –Verity-
545. We’re going to pretend that we used this last year. Shhhh! –Mongoose-
546. I didn’t think it was possible to be a flaming bisexual, but it is. –Rachel-
547. Like a satanic death cult, I’m going to drink the punch. –Arthur-
548. My artistic sensibility will not let the camera focus on 300 pounds of sugar. So Ari will go pace in front of the camera while I give my speech. DANCE PUPPET, DANCE! –Alex Lu-
549. I don’t even remember if my dorm had lights. –Alex Lu-
550. OMG, I can see over everyone! –Little Pickle-
551. Little Pickle: If you die in CTY, you die in the real world too.
Rachel: It’s like Canada?
552. Hi, I’m Joe, and I’m an alcohol-wrong speech. –Joe L-
553. 7 years and nine sessions later, they still haven’t lost their mojo. –Katelin-
554. Why can’t I be the guy at prom who does this? *does triangle dance* -CLAIM IT-
555. I wish I had some Bawls. –Maddie-v 556. GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS GERMS—G-G-G-G-G-GERMS! GERMS! –Shoff, Andy-
557. I love CTY, and I love the Passionfruit, and I HATE FRUIT JUICE! Someone else drink! –Aaron Gertler-
558. I learned to love openly, and tackle people when I play Frisbee!- Kate Davis-
559. I like germs…as FRIENDS. -Michelle-
560. Would it be appropriate to put a comment about DRL Matt on the instructional eval? –Rachel-
561. Before you graduate, use Purell please! –TA Mike-
562. When I grow up, I want to be a sprinkler. –Sam R-
563. That only attracts gay men. They hear “boing boing boing” and think “hey, I know that sound!” –Erik-
564. Turtle:Wanna try some alternative medicine?
Max: Some what?
Turtle: Some alternative medicine!
Max: Does it work?
Turtle: Of course it works!
Max: Let me hear it work.
Turtle: Get back to work!
-HDIS skit-
565. Hey! No breaking the fourth wall! Only I get to do that! –Turtle- (HDIS skit)
566. This hospital sucks. I’m going to buy Tamiflu on the internet. –HDIS skit-
567. Can you take a picture of the three of us-I MEAN FOUR! –Max’s dad-
568. I LOVE YOU –graffiti on Quad sidewalk, written in huge Sharpie-

---

QUOTEBOOK 2008

This is the Quotebook from LAN.08.1! Claim your quotes if I don’t know you said them, and tell me some more quotes to add. They must be original and been said at CTY. No requoting things from home. Have fun reading it, and shoot me a message if you’ve got something to add.

PS: I was in Cryptology, so all references to “Sideshow” are to our instructor, who is awesome.

1. Mr. Dictator's Whore just Flashed the Universe and made it more holy! -Veer Dedhia- (7/1)
2. - My daddy says AC/DC is the devil's music. - That's not what your daddy said last night! -Acting Improv, (AI-Park Bench ) Claim it-
3. Rape is only a word. -James Buckland-
4. - Oh Great and Mighty Sphinx, what were my mommy and daddy doing in bed when I needed a hug? - Your. - Dog. - Freestyle. -AI, Sphinx-
5. I am not Ev's whore. -Elena Karras- (7/2)
6. The Dark Side does not like to be hugged. -Dana Reback-
7. Why is she putting your moose down her shirt? -Maddie (Mev) Stevens-
8. Let us have more orgasms by passing the most Holy and Orgasmic Silent Football. -Veer- (made more funny by the fact that a TA was walking by)
9. Sasha: Veer is not a muscular man, nor is he a muscular woman. But he is indeed muscular. So he is…
Ev: Muscular Hedgehog!
10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, RAPE!!!11!1!! -everyone-
11. The Space Two Players To My Left… -Sam Lockerboy Gross
12. Were you there when the girl got pooped on? -Zoe Goldberg-
13. Can you two stay in that position so I can take a picture? OK that sounded sketchy! -claim it-
14. She transitively kissed my boobs. -Mev-
15. I think I’m wet. -Johnine Light-
16. Alex Lu: We don’t have a chocolate factory anymore, we have an Oompa Loompa factory.
Veer: So you just sit there fornicating all day?
17. Sasha, you are cross dressing way too early! -claim it-
18. The orgies are in our mind, just concentrate really hard. -Verity Walsh-
19. I made a noble last stand, until they took my pool noodle. -Nora Sandler-
20. All the Star Trek fanboys are having orgasms right now. -Verity-
21. Did I flash you? I’m sorry! -Johni-
22. Originally Frank Wang was supposed to be a Pokemon. The guy who suggested the idea was never seen or heard from again. -Sean Moss-
23. Oh my Frank Wang! -James Buckland-
24. Samantha. Or Squirrel. Not Orgasmic. Maybe. -Samantha Reback-
25. You’ll learn in Week Three. -Sideshow- (ALL SESSION LONG)
26. -I got a 3.2 gigahertz processor!
-That’s…impressive…
-Relationships 101-
27. Now me and Ryan, we work at a meat market… -Relationships 101-
28. Hi Zoe, I’m Matt. Do I know you from somewhere? -Matt Da Silva-
29. Be careful, I might just push you off my lap. -Nora-
30. We’re soft and fuzzy inside. -Everett Maus (hereafter: Ev)-
31. -So where are you taking our daughter?
- Las Vegas!
-Relationships 101-
32. A pizza place? Are you a druggie? -R101-
33. Vote for Rick Astley for Emperor! - me (Zoe Madonna) -
34. JT: I love you Ev!
Ev: Love me hard all night!
35. Random Kid: Wow that’s a huge orgy!
Everyone in Grass Orgy: NO IT’S NOT!!!
36. Sam, you’ve lost your eraser privileges. -Joe Lodin-
37. C: France!
Joe: That’s not an R, it’s an A!
Sam: FAIL!
38. Is the first word Sean Connery? -claim it- (7/3)
39. Can I be the pretty showgirl? -Alex Ayvazov (Sasha)-
40. Yay! We worked together and all get candy. It’s a communist ideal! -Joe-
41. Don’t tell me how to do foreplay! -Sasha-
42. What’s this about really epic quotes? Are they quotes that have reached over level 20? -Ev-
43. It’s my roommate! Only my roommate molests people like this! -Christine Pifer- (7/4)
44. Hey look over there, it’s a virgin! -C- (misheard, real: it’s a diversion)
45. Calvin said that, and Calvin is everywhere. -Ben Shifrin-
46. “Gehakt” -The Nederland Puzzle Book-
47. I would curse, but Rowan’s here. -Sasha-
48. I just got pissed on by the sky. -Gabe Murchison-
49. I expect that there will be produce. And Amish people. And Amish people selling produce. -Alex Benshoff- (7/5)
50. Saba: What’s age of consent-
Elena: SEX!!!
51. I’m not wearing shorts, so I can’t do it. -Elena-
52. –Juliana, why are you not taking off your pants?
- I’m not wearing boxers!
- That’s a technicality!
CLAIM IT
53. Anatomy lesson on my abs. -Ev perhaps?-
54. If you’re in bed with a girl, is it too late to look up foreplay on Wikipedia? -Ev-
55. Those are some sweet ass-gumballs! -Nick Marcou-
56. -Now it’s got ketchup on it.
-That’s what she said!
Russian Sam/unknown
57. Do you think there’s such a thing as Campbell’s soup porn? -Christine-
58. Site director gone! Can we start the orgy now? -unknown-
59. All we need is a smoke machine and the RAs will think we’re on drugs. -Sean-
60. This is your public service announcement,. There will be a public service announcement in five minutes. -Sasha-
61. I’m sorry Elena, I don’t go randomly straddling people in other universes. -Sasha-
62. You need to impregnate the cards with your magnetism! -Julia Chartove-
63. When you’re around, everything is an orgy. -Zoe M.-
64. Tree Squirrel is actually the embodiment of Frank Wang. -Austin Penner-
65. Tell them it’s possible to break your penis. -Nora-
66. What’s this about having sex with Veer? I’m up for it! -Ev-
67. Ev, stop being a manwhore! -Veer- Edit: I think that's impossible. -Zoe
68. I can feel your love on my legs, Zev. What the fuck, I called you Zev?! -Wes McClung- (7/6)
69. Quote 68? WHAT? Can I be number 69? -Wes-
70. I would applaud, but I’m not sure where my left hand went. -Josh Mermelstein-
71. This is not a grass orgy! This is an ORGY. -Veer-
72. The title in itself suggests bondage. -Christine-
73. I like giggling! I like scissors! Do you like giggling? DO you like scissors? Giggling! Scissors! Giggling! Scissors! -Dana Reback, Claudia Bach, Rachel Larrowe-
74. We just came up with the best idea for generating random numbers ever, Have kids swing their lanyards and see at what point in the circle Frank Wang yells “Stop swinging your lanyard!” -Joe-
75. We shall now sing Happy Birthday to Zoe Madonna, but instead of singing a normal version, we will sing a DEATH METAL VERSION! -Ev- (7/7)
76. Me: Lap whore!
Elena: Whore in general.
77. Ev: Do they have 8 pack abs and huge guns, while still being lanky? That’s the king of guy I’d be gay for.
Johnine: You mean yourself!
78. Your circulatory system is disgusting. -Sarah Hackney-
79. NATHAN!!!! -Everyone-
80. I’m a better paparazzi than you are. -Vivian Qin-
81. Oh, good! Now I can pimp! -Ev- (7/8)
82. And as their tongues intertwined in the act of love, he thought about her sister. -Joe-
83. The art of striptease. -Sam-
84. The best way to stop someone from raping you; give consent. -Ian Mackinnon-
85. Today’s life lesson is about relationships. I’m a heterosexual, so I’m going to talk about guys. -Ryan the RA-
86. The Pascal’s Triangle Enthusiast Organization is plotting to kill me. -Joe-
87. Linguiztic skillz -written on blackboard by Sideshow-
88. *GROAN* -collective class reaction to “linguiztic skillz”
89. HUG IT!!!! -absolutely everyone that played Frisbee-
90. Sasha belly button raped me—actually he raped me in general. -Matt Da Silva-
91. So you’re Matt, I’m Joe, and Sean is the tree. -Matt-
92. I’m the High Priestess of the Dermites. -Caitlin Schutz-
93. Does anyone else feel like they’re in “Across the Universe” right now? -Mev-
94. Ian: You are quite attractive, Zoe.
Me: Th-
Ian: To bugs and Frisbees.
95. Yes, 42 is a good number, but if it means 1 more person can be included, 43 is even better. -Dan Salvato-
96. His blood is red, that mean’s HE’S A COMMUNIST! -Nick M.-
97. Stop raping me now! -Wes-
98. Is that a glowstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -claim it-
99. Oh my god, this is Lancaster, not Mexico! -Wes-
100. Just pimp her and be done with it! -claim it-
101. He’s not random, he’s a ninja! -Ev-
102. You cannot undress me with your phallic umbrella. -Rachel-
103. I rape the floor in my spare time. -Stefanie Webb-
104. Hot Bo and Tom with Balls -typo on 7/10 activity sheet-
105. We’re being party escorts for sick people. -Christine- (7/10)
106. I’m incredibly creepy
That’s why I’m singing this song
I’m incredibly creepy
I hope you sing along
I have a-TROOOO-CIOUS SINGING
I hope you do tooooooo
That’s why I’m singing
The CREEPY SONG to YOU!
-Campbell Nilsen-
107. I would not sell this tie for under $1000 or gratuitous sexual favors. -Alex B.-
108. There’s nothing wrong with a little transvestite porn here and there. -Alex B. and Nathan-
109. I forgot to ka-chunk! -everyone-
110. Imagine how interesting this conversation would be if “kachunk” was an innuendo. -Zoe M.-
111. The site director is not a hallucination. -Joe-
112. I can see it now! www. hot sexybeetle porn .com! -Wesley Rian-
113. That’s a seal!! That’s a seal!!!! THAT’S A SEAL!!!!! -Wesley-
114. I grow faster than my hair does. -Wesley-
115. If you put a one time pad on that, it reads “Crypto Owns Latin.” -Sasha- (7/11)
116. Joe: Curse all you people who care about me! You make it much harder to shuffle off this mortal coil.
Sasha: I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! Ha! Whatcha gonna do now bitch?
117. At CTY, monogamy is best a loose suggestion, at worst a taboo. -Sean-
118. It’s your babushka! -Matt-
119. I LOSE! -everyone-
120. Ka-choink! That’s the sound of rhyming lines. -Christine-
121. Are we allowed to rhyme him with banjo? -Colin Stanfill-
122. Great, now I can’t remember how to spell visitor! -Max Weinberg-
123. Every time you “can has,” God kills a LOLcat. -Nick-
124. Doesn’t having only 42 balls violate some sort of ethics or humane code? -Sam, AI (Press Conference: Elena caught all the Pokemon)-
125. Come on people, give ethical treatment to vacuum cleaners! It's not their fault they suck! -Christine, AI (World’s Worst Protester)-
126. Today I will be protesting Scientology! *holds up speakers and Rickrolls AI circle* -Zoe M., AI (World’s Worst Protester)-
127. NO! NO! NO! I JUST GOT PSYCHOANALYZED! -Daniel Tracht-
128. -There are 7 international ISPs.
- Yeah, one for every country.
- Canada, Europe, Africa, New York City, New Jersey, China, and South Korea!
-FCPS, 7/10/08 (Christine? Alex? Kate? Elena? Help me out on who said this?)

129. I’m going to be sterile by the end of this. -Wes- (7/12-SECOND SATURDAY)
130. Wes, can I feel you up again? -Matt-
131. I made my own bra! -Campbell-
132. Veer was flirting with me. In the bathroom. -Joe-
133. He’s wearing a girly wifebeater! -Daniel T.-
134. Joe: This one’s $20 an hour!
Sasha: In this dress, I’m free.
135. Sam’s doing my garter belt, can it wait? -Ev-
136. You are the sexiest criminologist ever! -claim it-
137. Star-FISHNETS! Lulz lulz lulz. -Dana-
138. Guys CAN make out with guys, even when they’re girls. -Elliah Heifetz-
139. Do your parents know of the existence of that dress? -claim it-
140. Make sure to do the elbow fuck! -Gabe-
141. Elbow SCHNADE! -unknown-
142. CCCKHANNIEMUFFIN! -Sasha and Joe-
143. The internet is for webcomics! -everyone- (RA walked in on Avenue Q singalong)
144. You are on the varsity Rocky Horror team! -Adam Roush-
145. Can I borrow the Surprise Buttsechs Battering Ram? -Sam G.-
146. You stepped on the most Holy and Orgasmic Quotebook! -Collin Stocks-
147. No fighting over phallic objects! -Nick-
148. Are you fighting over phallic stuff? Come on guys, there’s enough of me to go around. -Ev-
149. It’s not a quote per se, so much as an essence. -Trisha Koch-
150. Is your mask aroused? -Veer-
151. Pants aren’t really clothing. -Sam Bauman- (7/13)
152. (Catchphrase game) Me: It’s either a game or something you have done to you in the hospital!
Kate Wymbs: RAPE!
153. –Sex!
- Water bed!
- Rape on a water bed!
- Catchphrase blurts-
154. –Irresistible.
-Girl Scouts!
-Eww! Who’s the pedophile here?
-Catchphrase-
155. (SLAM!) Is it dead? Is it dead yet? -DO NOT CLAIM!-
156.-Cursed megaphone!
-Schnading megaphone!
-Fob you, megaphone!
-assorted people-
157. Too many orgasms, not enough pictures! -Daniel T.-
158. Apparently I’m Jesus? -Ev-
159. Let’s find some other awkward places to put your bunny! -Stef-
160. Why is the word “true” on the cover of the National Examiner? -Colin-
161. Hey guys, look! I got salt! -Young-
162. Long-Cookie is Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(42 pages)oooooooooooooong…. -everyone-
163. That has got to be the most phallic cookie ever. -Nick-
164. Cookie consumed! Diabetes acquired! -Max R.-
165. Thor’s pissed…on us! -Sean-
166. I just made direct contact with the tree, so I went to first base with it. -Joe-
167. Ev, why do you have duct tape on your crotch? -Zoe M.- (7/14)
168. –Miraj, there’s not enough room on the bus. You’ll have to be on the roof.
-No! I wanted the fun seat!
-claim it-
169. They need to get new employees at that Shell station every week. -Joe-
170. There’s all kinds of controversy, I call it Lefty TV. -Tour Guide McConnell-
171. And that’s commie speak for, “SHE’S A COMMIE!” -McConnell-
172. Those are Young Pioneers. They’re like Hitler Youth, only they look good in their dresses. -McConnell-
173. In our business, “world famous” means “loser.” -McConnell-
174. Me: Do you actually have OCD?
Sasha: No, it’s just my way of flirting with Joe.
175. Remember, Acting Improv is not 4Chan! -Ev-
176. I don’t have the Baudot code memorized. Minus five geek points. -Sideshow-
177. I was actually offended by that tour guide-my mom was one of those and I was like, “Thanks, now I feel like a Nazi.” -Sasha-
178. We have us a Limewire
To get ourselves our music
That’s all locked up with DRM
And hidden far away
We’ll download the music
Download us a cracker program
Bust open the DRM
And then we’ll shout “HOORAY!”
-Ev- (sing to verse 1 of “You Are A Pirate”) (7/15)
179. Oh, that’s what n00bs do. Real hackers WRITE the cracker programs! -Collin Stocks-
180. The Mecha Euclidean Algorithm. It’s not Euclidean. -Sideshow-
181. I’m not worried! I could make out with Frank Wang and he wouldn’t care! -Wes-
182. I can be a hacker anytime I want! -Julie-
183. You have a very pretty manwhore. -Zoe M.-
184. Stop trying to summon Frank Wang, Sasha. -Sean-
185. Subtlety is my enemy. -Sean-
186. Get omnipotent! -Sasha-
187. Fairy would like to point out that the player known as Pathological Liar just spit a huge wad of hallucinatory grass in my face! -Faye Elgart-
188. Do not throw shoes at Mr. Dictator! -Nick-
189. Articulate-articulate your....ts! Yurts! Small huts that are built in the mountains! -Nick-
190. We are missing a hallucinatory Curly. -Skip-
191. SO VIOLENT! -Nick- (repeated, during SF)
192. What-did-is-what-was-is-what-is-WHATEVER! -Nick-
193. Mr. Dictator, apparently, is a blonde. -Nick-
194. Hey Zoe, that’s a quote, right? (Nick gets whacked with quotebook) Guess not. -Nick-
195. I’m like a disproportionately small bouncer. -Colin-
196. My first year after CTY, I watched the entire second season of Will and Grace without stopping. And ate a couple of quarts of ice cream. It wasn’t good. -Caitlin Schutz-
197. I still swing my lanyard at night. -Austin-
198. I swing my lanyard at night too. -RA, name unknown-
199. First session is all about that family that everyone forms within the CTY community. Second is about the incest. -Ariel Hyre (whoever that is)-
200. That’s what I said. -Colin- (under Silent Football penance)
201. We will kill you with our hums! -Juliana Biro-
202. It’s Roush. Adam Roush. Sort of like Bond. James bond, but with more banjo. -Dana-
203. No handy joy! -Joe, AI-
204. You and Cthulhu! You’re cheating! And apples apples apples! -Ev-
205. Oh my God, you’re the devil! -Nick-
206. I’m a sketchy sexpot! -Daniel T.-
207. Dermot Cat is not amused. -Faye-
208. Run! Run for the sake of your un-lettered shirts! Run! -Christine-
209. There’s no ADD, only ABCD: Attention Buffalo Chicken Dinosaur! -Joe-
210. It’s hard to kill people with glitter. -Collin- (two Ls) (7/16)
211. Ermine solution. It’s what you get when you dissolve a small weasel, I guess. -Colin- (one L)
212. Baudot sounds like a Pokemon. -Sasha-
213. Baudot: The Hexadecimal Pokemon. Oh, wait, that’s Missingno. -Zoe M.-
214. I’ve done binary before you were…(long pause)…14! -Joe-
215. I don’t flinch! I’m a SPARTAN! -Steven Aucott-
216. Sean: Christine, how many drugs have you had today?
Joe: None. She hasn’t had her meds yet.
217. Sketch-tastical! -Ev-
218. No one backstage had a spare guitar strap, so this is made of my lanyard, some embroidery tape, and Dermot ’s belt. -Sarah H.-
219. (hushed tones) This is Dermot ’s hat. -Russian Sam-
220. Oh my. I hope Dermot is not prancing around naked backstage. -Zoe M.-
221. My profile picture is the pretty girl with pink hair. I just wanted to make that clear. -Epic Fail singer-
222. Two tubgirls, one goatse. -Alex Lu-
223. Your mother was a Jynx! -Nick-
224. Anything in Marcou vs. Lodin. Can be found here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=597jd-zUJ1w
225. All in all, for an asexual, I don’t have a bad track record. -Joe-
226. When I get back home, I’m going to tell my history teacher/17 that I sat on John Marshall’s lap. -Matt-
227. It’s the color of hugs! -Verity- (7/17)
228. I’m being subtle here… -Wes-
229. There are always bunnies fornicating in my hair. -Ev-
230. Sasha, did you bring your masochistic doll again? -Joe-
231. Ev: Sexy Hallucination would like to join the Universe!
Elena: Mr. Dictator, I see no such hallucination.
232. Would Matt Kim like some hallucinogens? -Dan Salvato-
233. Sam, the words “sweat” and “arousal” should not be in the same sentence from you! -Joe-
234. I just heard “chill” coming from someone who works for the government. My life is complete. -C-
235. It’s a hippie sensor bar. -Nick-
236. Every time you say that, it causes 20 miscarriages, -Nick-
237. You don’t get mono, you didn’t do it right. -written on Father grail- (7/18)
238. Sasha, you promised me that I would be your first one! -Joe-
239. This is Stripping Jester, signing off. -Dana-
240. Ev: Give me a minute, my legs are all stiff.
Claim it (or not): Anything else stiff there, Ev?
Random person: CTYI!
Random Person 2: CTY Ireland!
241. Matt: I learned how to wear a bra and tank top. I learned how to wear a miniskirt.
Ev: But not how to sit in one!
242. I could go on talking for a long time, but I really want to try this green stuff!
-Christine-
243. Narcoleptic ADD cats!
-unknown person at Passionfruit-
244, The first thing that went through my head when Dan said that we had 30 minutes was, “Oh my god, we could get a Dominos’ pizza delivered! -Little Pickle (awwww!)-
245. I now demand that we sing that in ADFGVX! -Joe-
246. Station 5 decrypts to: Go to Hartman Green, pick up a gun, and blow your brains out. -Joe-
247. I did has a cure, but I eated it. You can has cheezburger instead! -HDIS skit 1-
248. Oh no, she left her antibiotics behind. I’ll have to test the stool of everyone in the village! -HDIS skit 2-
249. I DIDN’T JUST GET BLAMMOED!!!! -Zev Hurwich-

Additions:

250. They're making me be psychoanalyzed again because the Overlords believe I have outsmarted the psychoanalyst. -Daniel Tracht-
251. Okay, just so our parents let us come back next year, we're going to take off our TOWELS. -Dana Reback-
252. Now this question may seem a bit odd-ish, but... -Nick Marcou- (AI Press Conference-caught all the Pokemon)
253. You're more likely to be Rickrolled at CTY than on the actual Internet. -Dana-
.