Memories:LAN

2004.1

The Most Adoptions Ever

Zev Hurwich currently holds the unchallenged record for being adopted 42 times in his squirrel year. The idea for this started due to his seeming dual adoption, first by Alexia Simmonard, and then by Jeremy Berkowitz. Zev and Jeremy discussed the possibility of being adopted more than once which led to the idea of being adopted 42 times. Zev and Jeremy, in the last week of 04.1, ran around the campus asking people to adopt Zev. The entire Alcove of 04.1 ended up adopting him, plus other random people around the site, leading to a final tally of 42 adoptions.

2005.1

Bad Posture

In Dan Salvato's Math Logic class in 2005.1, one of his friends, Rina Polyakov, noticed that Dan's shoulders were slouched down all the time. She brought it up with him, saying "Put your shoulders up, like this." Dan took note of this.

A year later, just before 2006.1, someone in school told Dan he had good posture. Dan was like "o.o" and then he was like ":D".

Holding the Door for 500 People

Dan Salvato and his friend Luyu were bored one day and they were sitting in the Schnader stairwell, between the front and back doors, just lightly talking. Noticing the many people walking in and out, Dan and Luyu began holding doors open for people. Dan couldn't help but notice that only certain people said "thank you" as they opened the door - this made him curious, and he decided to get creative.

Dan and Luyu relocated to the door coming in from Schnader porch, and their friend Andrey decided to join them. Together, the three of them held the door for anyone entering while counting each person who walked through; they also counted the number of "thank yous" received. Out of the 500 people they held the door open for, they received 255 "thank yous" - that's 55 percent. They also created a set of rules determining who says "thank you" and how it is said:

• RAs are much more likely to say "thank you" than students.
• Females are more likely to say "thank you" than males. This applies for students and RAs.
• If the walker is familiar with the door holder, he/she is less likely to say "thank you."
• People in a small group are unlikely to say "thank you" unless one person says it; in this case, the rest of the small group usually says "thank you" as well.
• People are more likely to say "thank you" if they witness the door holder opening the door.
• Unless a female RA, walkers are likely to say "thank you" quietly.
• Small groups are more likely to say "thank you" than large groups.
• Female RAs are most likely to smile when saying "thank you."

Change of Heart

Dan Salvato, the Son of the Holy Trinity in 2008.1, was ironically as non-traditionalist as possible during his first year in 2005.1. He had come to CTY during the lowest point of his three-year depression; he felt that CTY would give him a chance to start his life over with new people. Dan was generally happy at CTY, staying inside during dances to play cards and spending every Quad Time in his hall. However, his depression still affected him; he sometimes felt like everyone cared about each other more than Dan. Feeling that CTY was nothing special for him, he decided not to return the next year. He told this to his friend Ly, who was disappointed.

Because of a thunderstorm on the day of the last dance, all students were required to report to the ASFC, which Dan was unhappy about. However, he managed to play cards with his friends against the wall, despite the blaring Canon songs in the background. Eventually, though, Dan's card-playing friends dispersed, and Dan was left alone to sit against the wall. Nightswimming began to play, and Dan was terribly upset - he was all alone again, just like at home. But then he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Artem, a onemore in his hall with a wonderful heart. He asked Dan what was wrong, only to get a shrug in return. Artem then said to Dan, "Hey, if there's something bothering you, you can always come to me to talk about it, and I'll be here to listen. I care about you, I want you to know that." A pat on the shoulder, and Artem was off.

This single trigger caused Dan to reconsider what he had so stubbornly been so sure of for the past three years. He realized that maybe there were people out there - people who could care and listen; people who could love. After a lot of self-debate, Dan replaced each negative thought of his with something positive and motivational. His depression was over. On the last day, when Ly asked Dan to sign her shirt, Dan happily obliged and wrote his name, and underneath his name, a message: "I'll be back."

2006.1

The Forty Two Person Grass Orgy

In Lancaster 06.1 during the first week of CTY when hand holding was still considered quite promiscuous Teh Corner decided to start a grass orgy. They had already been reprimanded for similar conduct but they hoped that they could get away with it. Then realizing that the more people who joined the orgy the less likely they were to get into trouble so members of Teh Corner kept inviting random people to join the orgy. When the orgy had past around 23 people the idea came into the minds of those present to achieve a forty two person grass orgy. Within a few minutes they had achieved the ultimate grass orgy and not a single one got yelled at by any member of staff.

Evil Vending Machine

One weekend, Dan Salvato and a few friends in his hall were bored. As all bored people do, they began climbing on top of the vending machine in their kitchen. Wondering if it was light enough to move, about five people positioned themselves around the vending machine. To their surprise, they managed to move it! Having fun with the whole situation, they pushed it in front of the doorway, blocking entrance to the kitchen. They wanted to give the vending machine a more menacing look, so they gave it an angry face made out of duct tape. The evil vending machine remained in place for several hours.

RA Jeff was walking down the hall when something red caught his eye. Turning left, he found himself face-to-face with a vending machine, smiling at him mischeivously. He stood there for about five seconds, smiling to himself, before saying "Okay, can you guys move it back now?"

The vending machine became the basis of the signature panels in the 2006 yearbook for both Etse's and Jeff's halls. (If you have a 2006 yearbook, check it out!) Here is a photo of the vending machine.

2006.2

Sexapussy (The Sexapus)

During Second Saturday of 2006.02, Crafting the Essay 3C student Ashok was getting bored as the day was dragging on to around 4:00, the end of the activities. Hallmate Greg Lawrence IV had had some twisty balloons mailed to him, and Ashok had collected 2 balloons so far that Greg had left lying around, presumed to be broken. Upon returning to his room, Ashok suddenly had an idea: he would make a balloon octopus! Quickly, Ashok scoured the hall for 2 more balloons. Alas, he only found one more, but not to be deterred, he used the 3 balloons he had to make a six-armed octopus. And thus Sexapussy, The Sexapus, was born.

Ashok took the Sexapus to the 3rd Dubbs lounge, which was at the top floor of South Ben and very hot. As the people in the lounge started playing with Sexapussy, a few were interested in how slowly it fell. Noticing that there were several fans cooling the room, Ashok and RA Adam Roush set up 3 fans pointing upwards and dropped Sexapussy into the current. For the next half-hour or so, Sexapussy would float to the top of the room, then flip and fall, then flip and spin around several times while catching the air currents and floating upwards again. In summary, it would float, flip, and spin without touching the ground for several minutes at a time, and it looked really cool. Word of the Sexapus got around quickly, and many people came up to 3rd Dubbs to see the balloon creature. Unfortunately, someone jostled one of the fans before a good video could be taken, and it couldn't be put quite in the same position so that the Sexapus would float as long again. Later, Adam and some others tied inflated plastic bags onto 3 of Sexapussy's 6 arms, which made it float much slower and longer.

Sexapussy suffered the same unfortunate fate that all balloons must, unfortunately, but plans for a bigger setup are under way.

P.S. we all secretly (or not so secretly) want to have the sexapussy's babies. its true. ~Yulia speaking for all of CTY who witnessed the glory that was Sexapussy.

Years later, a live "hexapus" was found in a British aquatic zoo.

The Legend of The Ivan

For those of you who don't know (i.e. those of you who weren't in Archaeology or Advanced Chem 06.2), this is the legend of The Ivan, collaborate on by Lena and AmanDaray (Amanda Ray).

It unfolds thusly: Soon after arrival at CTY, Amandar and Lena conversed and became friends. Of the myriad unusual and nerdy things discussed, the subject soon veered towards sex, drugs, communists and other such risque business (as CTY conversations have a knack for doing). Amandar brought forth the idea of locating an individual on campus to stalk for the remainder of the session, an idea that was met with enthusiasm from the not yet "attached-at-the-hip-and-left-knee-to-Kib" [The origin of this quotation remains uncertain] Lena. Walking past the arches, Lena spotted a more than adequate stalkee and rushed to inform Amandar of the charming new development.

The two giddily overeager students and some friends they told about the stalkee stared at, "casually" walked by, and giggled uncontrollably at and around him for excessive amounts of time. He was of slim build, dark hair, and pasty complexion. On some occasions, he wore grey Asics of the same style as Lena's. He was often seen carrying an "indie" messenger bag and reading books while eating meals instead of socializing, like an "emo" student would. He often appeared very pensive and existential (if it is possible for one to look existential). He had a Russian look about him, and was soon dubbed a communist. At breakfast, Lena once remarked that he looked as if he should be at a coffee shop or vintage record store "like, in Belgium or somewhere!" which prompted the notion that he was a stereotypical Kerouac-esque beat traveler, and all of his books were written by Nietzsche, Camus, Ginsberg, and Palahniuk. Upon writing a report on fourteenth-century Russia in class, Lena researched Ivan the Terrible and immediately decided that the stalkee's name must be Ivan, Nikolai, or Sven or "something swanky like that." Ivan was preferred by Amandar and the matter was settled.

At first, since he was too old to be a camper, and looked too mystical and worldly to be a TA or teacher (and obviously wasn't an RA), Amandar was misled to believe that he was a random F&M college student crashing CTY meals for unknown, mysterious reasons. Soon thereafter, one of the CTYers involved in the stalkage discovered that he did, in fact, have a black lanyard. This prompted Amandar to drag a whining Lena to the bulletin board outside the Nurse's office in Thomas where the pictures of RAs and TAs were posted. To both girls' dismay, the elusive stalkee's picture was ripped from the board, probably by a first session CTYer. They did, however, discover his real name, Nicolas (surprisingly close to Nikolai!), and that he TAed MIND B.

By the third week, Ivan probably was well aware that he was being stalked, especially since an involved CTYer, Kristin, decided to approach him and strike up a conversation which promptly failed. Lena had kind of forgotten about him by this point, but Amandar was still recruiting stalkers to join the rapidly growing cult of Ivanites. She hopes Ivan will return next year so the tradition can be passed on, but they probably freaked him out too much, in addition to everyone in MIND B. Apparently, no one in MIND B had caught on that their TA was being stalked by everyone in ARCH, CHEM, and a few random people from paleo and other classes.

Here is a strategically taken picture of Ivan and Amandar's shoulder by another A-Chem student:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/fefifofelen/cty/2lan06/5da2re2.jpg

Jeff Sachs says:

 As a member of Mind B. I am completely shocked that people were stalking Nicolas "Fries"
 Friesner. Although I did read some interesting Dr. Uffy, Fries, Lectern, fanfics...

Laney Newhouse says:

 DO NOT LISTEN TO JEFF SACHS. THAT IS A LIE. THERE WAS NO FANFICTION WRITTEN ABOUT DR. UFFIE, FRIES   
 OR THE LECTERN, AND CERTAINLY NOT ABOUT THE THREE OF THEM ENGAGING IN ILLICIT ACTIVITIES TOGETHER. 
 However, I, too, am very much amused by the stalkage of our beloved TA, and would like to note that 
 a lot of members of our class stalked him as well, as they found him quite attractive and soulful.

Amanda Ray says:

 'Twas the great Amandar herself who discovered the black lanyard, silly Lena.

Waffle House

On the last day of CTY, two CTY'ers, Harrison and Jordan, thought it would be a good idea to go to the waffle House on Harrison's last day at CTY. The plan was to sneak out and have Andrew, another boy in their hall, prop the door open. They made it past Turkey Hill and into the Waffle House, where they had a lovely breakfast. On their way back, they were stopped by the Lancaster police for being out past curfew. After trying unsuccessfully to pass themselves off as townies, they were carted back to F&M, where it was discovered that Andrew had indeed not propped the door open. While the administration couldn't do much to Harrison, as he was a nomore and it was the last day of the session, Jordan was not allowed to come back for his nomore year.

D-Qwon

D-Qwon (the hyphen is important because otherwise one may think it's pronounced "deh-qwon") is a lamppost at Lancaster, closest to North Ben, and near the arches.

CTYers mainly in Crafting the Essay B and C spent their Quad Times of the first week of LAN.06.2 basking in its light before realizing that... well, lampposts have feelings too. It was then that Johnny Mondel named the lamppost D-Qwon and, through some telepathic means, learned of his life. D-Qwon and his brother Dupree [whose body lay dying during 06.2, but has since been buried] were inner city lampposts who set out on a journey to Lancaster. D-Qwon, being the luckier brother, arrived on the Franklin & Marshall campus alive, but Dupree didn't have the same fate and was destroyed by the construction of Ware.

On the first weekend in 06.2, with he help of Ellie Kladky's iPod speakers, the first D-Qwon Dance Party occurred, in which people sat around, listened to music, and of course, danced. Following this first D-Qwon Dance Party, any weekend time these CTYers spent hanging out and dancing to music, regardless of the place on the Quad, became known as a D-Qwon Dance Party.

It is believed by many that the drawing on the back of the LAN 06.2 "year"book is of D-Qwon.

External Links

• A photo of D-Qwon with Dupree in the background

2007.1

Be Strong

Dan Salvato cried very much on the last day of 2007.1. It was his last time in his room with his roommate Zev Hurwich. Dan had just finished packing and was about to leave; he gave Zev one last hug and began to cry again. Zev let go and Dan began backing out of the door. "Dan..." Zev said. "...Be strong." Zev smiled and held up a fist of strength to Dan. Dan sniffled and couldn't help but smile back - he held up his own fist in return. He then turned around and walked out of his hall for the last time. This was the most dramatic and epic moment of Dan's life - it was straight out of a movie. Only better...

Balcony Incidents

The only person to witness the balcony incident was Dan Salvato. The entire campus was on its way to the ASFC to watch the annual Talent Show. Dan, however, was a performer in the Talent Show and was preparing to depart with the other performers, who were grouped in Thomas Hall. A Rubik's Cube was needed as a prop for one of the MC acts, and Dan was asked to run back to his dorm in North Ben to get his cube as quickly as possible. At the front of North Ben were three RAs (Dan does not remember who) - two were at ground level, and one was a floor up on the balcony. All three RAs were laughing as the bottom two RAs attempted to toss a lanyard up to the RA on the balcony - they missed several times, and the lanyard fell back down. This is a major rule violation and would get all the balconies banned if any of the RAs caught students tossing anything up or down the balcony. It was very funny for Dan to watch, but unfortunately, he couldn't think of anything witty to say to the RAs at the time. He returned to Thomas Hall with the Rubik's Cube, and the RAs were never caught by anyone else.

There was a second incident leading to the near-banning of the Muhlenburg/Mull balcony and possibly all other balconies due to the throwing of sprinkles off it. This occurred after the 4th dance while everyone was coming in from the afterdance. The two perpetrators were stopped by two CTY students because they did not want the balconies to be banned. The following day, an RA noticed and called a hall meeting for Muhlenburg and Mull to try to figure out what happened. The RA accused these two halls because they were the only ones with sprinkles.The punishment would be having to clean up other halls. Luckily, one of the two students that stopped the two perpetrators was in one of these halls, and told his RA what he saw. The perpetrators were caught and the balconies stayed open, and the halls were not punished. One perpetrator was from outside the hall, and his punishments are unknown.

2008.1

Dan's Disappointment Speech

A transcription of the speech can be found here: Essay:Dan's Disappointment Speech

Dan Salvato spent 2008.1, his nomore year of CTY, involved with tradition and the Alcove more than ever. When heading out of a lounge in North Ben during the first Saturday, he saw his two friends, Alex "Sasha" Ayvazov and Rowan Matney, in the distance. Sasha looked upset; Dan asked what was wrong upon approaching them. Sasha explained that he did not feel as much of a sense of love and family in the Alcove as he always had in the past; Dan and Sasha talked about this together for a while and agreed that something should be done to unite the Alcove as a family. Thus, they decided to write a speech to give to the Alcove the following Tuesday during dinner. When Sasha had to go, he hugged Dan and said "I love you, Dan." Dan started to cry, as this was the first true sense of love and family he was given during 2008.1.

NOTE: The Alcove and its sense of family is a very touchy and debatable subject, mainly in terms of whether the Alcove has lost a sense of family over the years, whether it has become less of a family after 2007.1 when Zev and others nomored out, or whether it has always been the same but was given a goal in 2008.1 that was not upheld to the fullest of expectations. This entry only covers the interpretations of Dan, Sasha, and the written speech.

Dan and Sasha spent several quad times and early mornings working on the speech. The original idea of the speech was that the Alcove contained a strong sense of family in the past, but this was failing in 2008.1. Dan consulted Dana Reback after the completion of the speech; he was glad he did, because she was involved in the Alcove for four years and believed that the sense of family was never truly given in the Alcove any more in the past, but was rather a new perspective the Alcove wanted to uphold for 2008.1. Dan spent his quad time rewriting the speech and went over it with Sasha Tuesday morning.

After a long talk with the Site Director, Dan was ready to give the speech, though he was incredibly nervous. Upon quieting down the Alcove, he got their attention by opening with the sentence "A few of us have been disappointed this year at CTY." From here, he was able to deliver the rest of the speech; a few people were in tears at the end, including Dan himself. The speech was awarded with a lively applause, followed by each member of the Alcove hugging Dan one by one. The Alcove then formed a circle by linking their arms around each others' shoulders, singing the Beatles' "Hey Jude." Dan left the Alcove crying and was stopped by Frank Wang, sitting with several other RAs. Frank asked Dan what was wrong, and Dan said "I just gave my speech" in between sniffles. Frank reached out his arm to pat Dan on the back, but Dan moved closer and gave Frank a hug (Frank said "Okay, okay" in slight disapproval).

"42 is a great number, but if it means one more person can join in, 43 is even greater."

Brotime

On the talent show program, an act midway through the set was listed only as "Brotime." This act turned out to be five male RAs (Tom, Diego, Papa Pucci, Joe, and Scruff) dancing to Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," leading to much laughter and many cheers from the female students. The next day, at the final dance, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" was played. As soon as it was started, there were many yells of "BROTIME!", people cleared the blacktop, and the fivesome performed. Then, at closing ceremonies, two encore acts from the talent show were scheduled; Dan Salvato, Alan He, and Victor Song's breakdancing, and Sarah Hackney, Sarah Parr, and Rachel Khatan's singing and playing Scarborough Fair. The breakdancing went over well (besides the fact that the iPod's battery died mid-performance), but before the Scarborough Fair act went on, there was a small scuffle between Sarah H.'s guitar and a member of the History of Disease class, which ended with one of the guitar strings breaking, rendering it unplayable. Therefore, Sarah had to rush to get a spare, leaving a large time gap. Some students yelled "Brotime!" and weren't taken seriously at first, but when more students called for Brotime, RA Mama Kate asked if anyone in the ASFC had Wham on their iPod. Both Byron Callan and Jeremy Strege donated their iPods and Brotime put on one final performance for the CTYers and parents. They received a standing ovation.

Brotime on Youtube- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uSfgAx5flA

"Hey, Shae!"

During a break in Rocky Horror rehearsal on Second Saturday, certain students who here shall remain unnamed (due both to lack of consent from both parties and also full group LAN 08.1 memory of the event anyways) engaged in flagrant violation of PDA rules. Unbeknownst to them, RA Shae (still fully in drag) entered Mull/Muhlenberg 2nd lounge, with a full view of them from the door. It took a few tries from other students to get their attention, but once they realized Shae was there, one student immediately jumped off the other and onto the chair arm, and essentially hid behind a combination of knees and carefully-draped hair. Suddenly, jumbled excuses were heard from various unknown parts of the lounge about "part of the rehearsal" and "in the lab...on the slab!" Shae, who appeared somewhat startled, seemed to accept these excuses, and then said something about having to go get Adam Roush to watch the rehearsal, followed by what seemed like a plea: "Please don't make out anymore...!" After Shae's exit, the two students were ridiculed. This ridicule continued for the rest of the session, by changing the practice of directing the words "Hey, Frank!" to the air behind a PDA-ing couple with "Hey, Shae!" especially for this particular couple.

Edit: Most of this information is, quite surprisingly, 100 % accurate. I must interject to defend myself, however, because I totally didn't believe the excuses of said students at the time. Not at all. They were clearly not "in the lab, on the slab," as implied. They were in an armchair, being CTYI. I was just too gobsmacked to act otherwise. --Shae 10:14, 25 November 2008 (PST)

Shae- I know you didn't believe them but it was more fun to write it that way. It would have been even more fun if I had thought to describe you as "gobsmacked". -Rachel

Balcony Mishaps

The balcony of Rauch 3 was a place of mishaps and mayhem during LAN.08.01. The ETYM girls were often reprimanded for their interesting and slightly CTYI beheavior on side jutting precipice. The beginning of this saga was the Dangling of the Bra, during the Sunday Lockdown. A moth killed with a shoe mistaken for a gunshot put the whole campus under house arrest, but the girls of Rauch 3 had a religious RA, and therefore were barely informed through sparse text messages. During the lockdown, a bra was torn from the body of an unsuspecting ETYM-ite and dangled off the balcony, upon which very angry RAs/Policeman ordered the girls inside and the bra off its makeshift flagpole.

This was not the only offense, however. One night during lights out, one of the girls was talking on the phone on the balcony, when two attractive (yes... they were attractive. We could tell. It doesn't matter that it was dark. Shhhhhh) men were spotted walking through the campus. NAKED. Well... in boxers, but close enough. Being the true Rauch 3 girls they were, catcalling erupted and the boys walked over to talk. But right before numbers could be exchanged, the half-naked boys were caught by an RA and escorted off the premises, into the land of legend.

The last incident took place when a CTYer was reciting a sonnet rather loudly off the balcony into the night. A couple heading towards Weiss Hall shouted, "SHUT UP!!!" To which the response was, "It's Shakespeare, you illiterate manwhore!!!" But who should be walking by at that very moment but DRL Scary Matt? So, you can guess what happened next - yes. Failure. But a little Catholic girl wrote an apology and everything was right as rain. Suspicious? Maybe. Ingenious? Yes.

Frank Wang: Owned Via PDA

It was the last dance of session 1 and CTYer X and CTYer Y were kissing near the back of the dance crowd. Suddenly, Frank Wang came by, and he shouted "No PDA!" Lo and behold, however, he was shouting to an unsuspecting couple right nearby CTYers X and Y, not X and Y themselves. Frank began to reprimand the victims verbally, and CTYer Y interjected, politely commending Frank on his excellent work catching the PDAers. It was then, when Frank began to go into full swing lecture, that CTYers X and Y kissed for a long time, right behind the great Frank Wang's back. It was a satisfying, triumphant moment never to be forgotten.

When Frank Wang turned back to face them, "lock down" mode was initiated, and both X and Y faced away and shouted, "Ew!!! Cooties!"

Thus, Frank Wang had been owned.

The Name Train

The Name Train was a horrible evil devised by an RA as a method to supposedly help CTYers learn each others' names, but was truthfully a nightmarish form of torture. It dates back to as early as the first day of 08.1, being used as an ice breaker, but it began to become more well-known during the very first hall bonding, in which it wickedly ruined the bonding of many other halls. Sporadically throughout the rest of the session, the Name Train was revived, causing many CTYers to flee in fear when it approached.

"What's YOUR name on the Name Train?!"

"...Debbie?"

"DEBBIE! DEBBIE! DEBBIE-DEBBIE-DEBBIE! Hop on the Name Train!!"

The Name Train's reign of evil was broken, however, when a group of CTYers determined to stop it planned to join the train with really long names, like Riki-Tiki-Tembo-No-Sarendo-Terry-Berry-Ruchi-Pip-Beri-Pembo, obscene names, like Mike Hunt, or simply a few hundred digits of pi. The plan of action was changed when Zoe stated that any name train that attempted to kidnap her would be promptly Rickrolled, and held up her ever-present portable speakers. Inspired, Christine suggested that the whole group simply gather together in an acapella Rickroll, and thus the Wall of Rolling Rickroll was born. The Name Train was Rickrolled three times before the Wall scattered and fled, but the damage had been done. The Name Train was no more.

EDIT: The Name Train lives on! Several 2nd sessioners jumped on board. In fact, Katherine's girls requested to be Name Trained on the first day! AND! a lot of you 1st sessioners loved the Name Train! So much so that we had to establish a regular schedule — the 6:10 Name Train. (RA, Andrew Dillon)

EDIT: Andrew, I have to defend the honor of my hall by stating that it was actually MY girls that requested to be Name Trained. Specifically Kleo and Kate. Because the Transformers rock. --Shae 10:14, 25 November 2008 (PST)

EDIT: The acapella Rickroll was one of my favorite memories that I had Session 1. -Austin

EDIT: On Second Saturday of 09.1, James "Turtle" Buckland started a pre-dance Name Train, which managed to gather about 25 people. This Name Train was destroyed by Sam Bauman who, upon asking of his name, screamed "YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!" and charged the Name Train, breaking it apart.

Best Typo of the Year

In the middle of the session, one of the activities on the Activity Sheet appeared as "Hot Bo and Tom With Balls." This was laughed about for the remainder of the session by many. The activity was meant to be "Hit Bo and Tom With Balls" (dodgeball). It may or may not have been an accident. *coughcough*

The Schnade, The Chart, and The Health Office Party

During first session, a nasty cold quickly spread throughout the Alcove and the campus. (this cold was so nasty that it even sent one girl to the ER) It was spread quickly because the person who first caught a bad case was in -close contact- with many people. She was quarantined in the Health Office for two and a half days, only allowed out for meals and activities. During lunch of the first day, she, along with a few of her friends who were already showing symptoms, created a sick table to contain the illness, and created a Schnade chart. This chart showed how the cold would spread, AKA it showed the people who were already sick, and the people closest to them, the people closest to them, etc. As more and more people got sick, their names were checked off of the list. That Friday, this girl had to stay in the Health Office during the dance. She was feeling better, so she grabbed the candy she had left from Turkey Hill and the previous week's Farmers Market, so she could make her own party in the Health Office. When she got there, she realized that three of her friends were also still sick and stuck in the Health Office. They sat in the suite lounge eating candy and hanging out for the entire dance. During the night, they had visitors pop in for water and just for fun, including friendly RA's Shae and Sean and even SRA Frank Wang. Frank, after letting the no longer deathly sick girl sign up early for the Farmer's Market, showed a side of himself not usually seen by CTYers.

"Man, you guys all look really sick" Frank

"...uh... yea.. well we are.. pretty much..." CTYers

"No, you don't get it... like, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK" Frank, striking a pose

In the moment, it was so funny that one girl fell off the couch laughing and took a few minutes to calm down. She's having trouble right now finding the words to explain the hilarity of the situation. All in all, the four sick friends in the Health Office had fun with each other, with friends, RA's, SRA's, with the chart, and made the best out of this potentially horrible situation.

Unfortunately, due to his illness during the Lip Sync Contest, Dan Salvato was unable to perform a romantic broadway-themed dance to the Pokemon Theme Song (which he spent weeks choreographing before CTY) with his partner Margaret Rigg, so the performance was canceled.

Schnader Hall Lockdown

Since it's been almost a year since this happened, I feel like this famous event should be recorded before too many of us forget.

It was a lazy second sunday morning on the 3rd floor of Schnader Hall, and I had just finished taking a shower. I was chilling, talking to people, and waiting for brunch to be served. As several of us were lounging in Schnader's 3rd floor lounge, an RA from a lower floor came up the stairs and said something hearing gunshots. Confused, we all sat there for a moment, and continued about our business. Around 2 minutes later, my RA, Rob came in and said to everybody, "Everybody get to your rooms, we are on lockdown. Someone heard gunshots." Now we were very nervous. We all scrambled to our rooms and shut the doors tight. Unfortunately, my room was locked. I tried my key, but nothing happened. Luckily, Rob was still in the hallway and asked what I was doing. I then told hime what happened, and he whacked on the door a couple times, calling the person to open the door. Now I had no idea what had happened. Maybe the gunman had taken cover in my room and had barricaded himself in there! Luckily, moments later, a screeching could be heard and my door opened. I am not going to reveal who it was in there, to protect his privacy, even though many of you already know who it is. Nervous as crap by now, I dashed inside my room. For some reason though, my dorm window was open and the person was shouting to somebody outside. Fearing for our safety, I tried to close the window, when I realized the person was holding a phone and talking to a cop. Really scared now, I backed away to my bed. Seconds later, I heard a knocking. Looking through the peephole of my door I see three police officers with body armor, and Police version M1 carbines. Relieved, I opened the door. They soon began asking us what had happened. The caller said that he had heard gunshots, laughing, and a cry of "Is he dead? Is he dead?" By this point, the caller was extremely upset, and they figured it would be better off if they asked him questions in private. They allowed me and my roommate to return to our room. 5 minutes later, an announcement was made, and certain dorms were allowed to go to brunch. Naturally, many of us thought thought that this was incredibly stupid. As far as we knew, there was still a gunman somewhere out on the campus. Grouping America's future together in one crowded cafeteria seemed to be very unwise. Little did we know, that a clear signal was tentatively given, and they figured that we should at least eat. For the first time, we were allowed to talk to other people about what had happened. As we talked, a slow realization came upon me. I knew what the caller had heard! Earlier that day, someone had walked into our lounge from our microwave room, laughing hysterically. When we asked him why he was laughing so hard, he told us what happened. He, along with others, had been trying to kill a moth. They had managed to chase the moth into the microwave, and effectively cooked it. He noted that it had made a popping sound. We of course, thought nothing of it at the time and remarked how each of us would never use the microwave again. Returning from this flashback, I unveiled my conclusion. There was never any gunshots at all! It was instead the popping of the moth in the microwave! This theory was not exactly correct however, as I never heard about a flip flop being involved. But this theory was the catalyst in figuring out what had happened. Later, we were able to piece together exactly what had happened. Several people were in the Microwave room. In there, they saw a moth. As Schnader Hall 3rd floor is infested with moths, the leaped at the opportunity to kill it. Literally. They had been jumping up all over the place, using flip flops to kill it but often missing. The resulting miss still hit the wall though, and I am sure that everybody is familiar with the sound of a flipflop hitting a surface at a fast speed. They were laughing, asking if it was dead in loud voices, and just causing a ruckus. I however, heard none of this as it happened. Meanwhile in my room, the caller had awoken from a sleepover from the previous night. He awoke to the sound of loud popping, laughing, and cries of "Is it dead yet?". Naturally, being half-asleep and a squirrel, he panicked. He dialed 911 and reported gunshots in Schnader hall. And that is where my story began.

Epilogue: On one of the last days of CTY, the caller received a package. It was a hat and a certificate from the Lancaster police department. The certificate was one of thanks for "cool thinking and fast action in the face of potential crisis." or something like that. The best possible response to this goes to Ben Levy: "Cool thinking? What the hell? That wasn't cool thinking at all, he thought that people trying to kill a moth were crazed gunmen!!!!"

2008.2

Pantsless Macarena Line

During the final dance of Session 2, the songs Sexy Back and BLT were played back to back. The Macarena and Sexy Back had been combined at CTY before, but not in a manner such as this. Following BLT, a small group of students rushed to the ASFC track where it overlooked the dance floor. They then began to form a Macarena line similar to the one formed at the last dance in the ASFC, but with one vital difference: their pants had been left off following BLT. As the song went on, the line grew, until only a small portion of the dancers were pantsless, the other ones either wearing dresses, or leaving their pants on. And that was how the Pantsless Macarena Line was born.

Previous to this, the Macarena was also done during other rap-ish songs as well. Thus, during (I believe) the 3rd dance, the Macarena was played, but although some were actually doing the Macarena, a line of people refused to dance the Macarena to the correct song and instead performed the Generic Gangster Dance directly in front of the Macarena-ers.

-This is entirely true. I was part of both of these. FJØRKËN 13:55, 20 August 2008 (PDT)

2009.1

400 Babies!

During 2009.1, a new rule was introduced that banned hugging for more than three seconds. This was not received well by the CTY community, and some started to make jokes about this. One popular joke was that it couldn't be fear of girls getting pregnant, because we were all educated people there and we knew how it actually worked. So, it must have been fear of the guys getting pregnant. Declan Kennedy, inspired by the PowerThirst commercial, mounted a plan to be hugged for longer than 3 seconds 400 times by the end of second session. He had gotten 400 long before the end of first. No idea when those babies are going to show up.

Pie Through the Window

During 2009, a swine flu scare sent many students home. Rudy Garcia was kept in the health office for a very long time because the admin and his parents had to arrange transportation back to California. He was there so long that his symptoms disappeared, but Baltimore ruled that he had to go home anyway and that he could not have visitors. Some enterprising friends of his began talking to him through the Health Office window. On the second Thursday, some Alcovians were talking to him through the windows. Zoe Madonna then played the Dr. Mario dance off her speakers, and Rudy and the Alcovians did it. After Dr. Mario, Zoe started playing "American Pie" for Rudy, because he would not get to attend another dance. The Alcovians and Rudy's friends then did a full rendition of it, albeit with some switched positions because the official ones were not there. (Erik Goldberg as the Jester, Zoe Madonna as the queen/Fire, Bill Fedullo as king/Jack Flash.) There was no Afterdance because of everyone having to go to class, but Rudy seemed very happy. There were also plans to go and American Pie sick nomore Colin Stanfill, but his parents picked him up before that could happen.

Pacman

On the second Sunday, James 'Turtle' Buckland, Sasha Ayvazov, Joe Lodin, and Jesse the Counselor donned a Pacman costume and three ghost costumes, respectively. At ten o'clock, Shoff went around both boys' dorms, kicking in bathroom doors and generally harassing people in an attempt to get them to come to the quad at eleven o'clock. He also handed out cardboard circles, which came with the instructions to be on the quad and have that at the ready. As a result, the quad was well-populated at eleven o'clock, when Turtle stormed out of the North Ben dorm wearing a cardboard-and-tablecloth pacman costume. He went around the quad, collecting pellets. About five minutes after this, Sasha, Joe, and Jesse each exited the other dorms and began chasing Turtle around the quad. He collected cherries and did battle. The spectacle got a following of people who went around the quad with the characters, feeding Pacman pellets, which he used to defeat the ghosts and finally run into the dining hall. It was a success.

A video of dubious quality can be found here.

The Walking Afterdance

On second Saturday, a variety of unfortunate things occurred at the dance that are discussed in detail on the Hall of Shame. The last of these was the appearance of lightning, which caused the RAs to begin ushering students back to their dorms. Instead of abandoning the Afterdance for one night, there occurred a walking afterdance that was incredibly surreal as well as incredibly awesome, everyone shouting the songs with such emotional intensity that, to this editor, captured the feeling of CTY perfectly.

Dimbyism

Once upon a time, there was an awesome Number Theory TA called Dimby. He developed a cult following in class, which spread across campus via a loud and rancorous song. Indeed, the THEO.B class loved their Dimby so much that they developed a variation of a famous and ages-old Number Theory song (only the Dimbytized variation of which will be written here):

We have Dimby
Great big Dimby
Teaching through night
Not beautiful sight
We have Dimby
Great big Dimby
YYYYYAAAHH!

Other variations of the song were created, notably one about a cripple. The original song itself could be heard, as usual, resounding across the quad on many-a-day. The Dimby version was particularly audible on the last CTY Friday, when the THEO.B class transported Dimby to Keiper held aloft on a pool mattress. Dimby himself became a widely recognized person among many CTYers (his appearance at a dance resulted in over fifty nearby students bowing down to him in supplication), and his glory has converted many students to Dimbyism.

During second session, the THEO.A class, also sang this song, (but we didn't know that this song existed already), replacing trucking with proving, and the fourth line staying the same. Awkward thing is, that we called our religion Dimbyism as well... We must have a special connection.

The Artificial Creation of a Meme

On one of the last days of 2009.1, some campers sat down in LLRT and decided that they would create a meme just to see how fast it would spread. The meme was this: The sentence "1 part cranberry, 2 parts orange juice, 5 parts root beer, it's delicious!" repeated as quickly and as often as possible. It was spread throughout the campus until most, if not all, people had heard of it. It is a prime example of the memetic effect of information propagating throughout a society for no purpose other than the lulz.

2010.1

TOPI Insanity, or, TOPI BOYS <3 THE PEEN

The Utopias and Dystopias class of 2010.1 became quite notorious for their general rowdiness, overwhelming love for naked time, and the fact that all the boys in the class were either gay, bisexual, or otherwise attracted to males. The default state of the TOPI girls in their hall in South Schnader 2 was partially naked, sometimes fully naked, like during one particular sleepover that began with a game of strip never have I ever. The war chant of TOPI was to simply shout NAKED TIME!, and several other TOPI classmates would invariably respond with cheers and more NAKED TIME. Ironically, the one time four TOPI girls ended up in the same shower stall, three of them were fully clothed.

The TOPI girls played an unending stream of ruthless pranks on each other, which terrified their hallmates, the Crafting the Essay A girls, and stimulated intense hatred in the Physics B girls, who lived across the hall and were disgusted by the TOPI girls' lack of conservatism. One TOPI girl played a stream of pranks on a second one who couldn't poop when others were in the bathroom, like dumping an entire bottle of baby powder on her head while she was pooping or taking pictures of her over the stall wall. A pair of roommates kept up a humorous war throughout the session; one was afraid of Jello, one was afraid of feet. One day after dinner the first girl entered her room to discover that her roommate had smuggled six cups of Jello out of the dining hall and dumped them all on her bed. The next morning, the second girl was woken up by the first girl's feet in her face. Eventually, Jello was thrown, Silly String was shot, and the rest of the hall was so inspired by the chaos that water ices were smushed in faces and people were attacked with shaving cream.

Other antics involved two TOPI girls running around Schnader in a nothing but underwear and a large tube of fabric, declaring themselves to be a chinese dragon, followed by a girl in a leopard snuggie, for no reason other than that snuggies are awesome. TOPI often ended up down in the South Schnader basement to visit the CODE C girls, who expressed extreme appreciation for naked time and TOPI in general. CODE girls often visited TOPI girls and in one instance pelted them with duct tape while the TOPI girls were being yelled at by SRA Megan. It should be noted that the CODE C girls in question had almost decided to come up shirtless but did not. The crypto girls expressed their extreme remorse for not doing so afterward for it would have made for intense hilarity. TOPI girls had nightly illegal sleepovers; one girl slept in her own bed all of three nights throughout the entire session. Late-night illegal sleepover activities included throwing paper airplanes covered with sexual innuendoes out the window and pelting one TOPI girl with full water bottles when she refused to get off the phone with her boyfriend.

Many TOPI rooms were decorated with bras (or in one case, a chastity belt made out of duct tape) hanging from the ceiling. The large quoteboard page hanging in the hallway, meant for doodles, was adorned with the large statements "NAKED TIME 22:00," "BOYS IN TOPI <3 THE PEEN, ESPECIALLY IN THEIR ORFICES," and "I WANT TO DO DIRTY THINGS TO YOUR MOIST BUTTHOLE." A book of gay erotica (purchased at a used bookstore for $5) was kept hidden in someone's dorm room, only to emerge for dramatic readings during sleepovers, and on the last day the receipt for its purchase turned up mysteriously covered in baby oil. A TOPI girl had a phobia of the words moist and musky; as a result, Betty Crocker Warm Delights (THE BEST THINGS EVER) were referred to as Moist Delights for the whole session and the word musk was thrown in whenever possible, especially in reference to vaginas.

The ridiculousness was not limited to the TOPI girls. The TOPI boys' extreme sexuality and touchy-feely-ness forced their instructor to make a rule allowing only one boy to go to the bathroom at a time. A regular reprimand of the class was for them all to stop touching each other, and at any possible time TOPI held indoor grass orgies in the center of the classroom. Just like the TOPI girls. TOPI boys did some awesome/highly CTY-I things. From gaorgies to taping the door of their RA shut, mattress dominos, and more gaorgies. One day when activities were rained out, the TOPI boys held a Ke$ha dance party in their bathroom. They were only told to stop when their RA realized that Ke$ha's "Blah Blah Blah" isn't exactly the most CTY-A song.

Three TOPI-ers famously got sent to the DRL during the third dance for "simulating oral sex" on a fourth TOPI-er, when in reality they were merely having their picture taken while pretending to nom on his butt. While the three spent an hour in DRL Bree's office, a rumor spread throughout the dance that they had been sent to the office for licking people's elbows, a result of the elbow-licking craze that had started in TOPI and spread through the rest of the campus. Continuing the trend of rule-breaking (by the end of the session, TOPI had broken more rules than it had followed), five TOPI girls got busted for an illegal sleepover on the third Monday and for punishment were made to clean up the dining hall for 15 minutes after breakfast and dinner. The punishment ended up being ridiculously enjoyable, and the girls became BFFs with Earl, the totally awesome man who checked for CTY IDs at the entrance. The punishment became known retroactively as the funishment.

2010.2

The Great 599

Muhlenberg 2 10.2 was a rather special hall, being both a THEO hall and a TOPI hall. This combination of two classes with reputations for attracting hardcore CTYers meant this hall had great things in store for it.

One of the stunts best remembered by the hall came to be known as "The Great 599". Through various channels, the hall was able to acquire a total of 600 off-brand copies of the famous red Solo Cup (Kroger brand, to be precise, and there were some blue ones too). One night, following lights out, much of Muhlenberg 2 left their rooms, and set to work.

Using the 27 gallons of water that Ryan and Noah had collected in various empty bottles and jugs, as well as an additional 33 gallons from jugs refilled during the prank, the hall outside Blaise's door was full within the hour. And so began the waiting game. Most of the hall expected Blaise to wake up late, after they had already gone to class. However, unbeknownst to the hall, Blaise had been out on patrol that night.

Around 2:00 in the morning, Blaise returned to his hall, two members of the prank team waiting in the lounge in hopes of catching his reaction. As Blaise asked them why they were in the lounge, they silently led him through the door into the hall itself. Their celebratory cries alerted the rest of the hall, who congregated outside to see the reaction. After he had been sufficiently pranked, a path was cleared in the cups for Blaise to walk through. Once he had gotten into his room, a few of those involved took it upon themselves to fix the prank. They emptied out all of the cups and stacked them in the bathroom, leaving one solitary cup sitting outside of Blaise's room. They then retired to the lounge to eat ramen with a glowstick until they passed out at various wee hours of the morning.

One member of the hall, who had not been part of the prank, summed up the event with a quotation: "WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NOISY, AND WHY IS IT TWO A.M.?" (We answered that it was 2 AM because time flows linearly. Some later argued that time flows more like a parabola.)

A video of Blaise's reaction is available at http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1436169137130.

You can also find a series of photos taken in a stop-motion style at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30442&id=100000121159312&l=6d818727ba (by Noah Goldstein) or at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2075472&id=1216741875 (by Theo Hong)

There remains one question, though. Why 599 cups?

It's simple; 600 would have been too many.

The hall (including RA Blaise) proceeded to make a few other uses of those same cups until the end of session, as detailed on the Hall page.

Astro Vs. Pbio

Vienna Harvey and Liz O'Neill took Paleobiology together in 2009. In 2010, they signed up for Astronomy together. This act led them to be declared traitors by Richard, the Pbio TA. After a few days of continued taunting and argument over which class was better, Richard challenged the Astronomy class to an Astro-Pbio Ultimate Frisbee game, which would continue until second Thursday. On this day, the winning class would have first choice of seats on the shared bus for both class field trips to the Smithsonian. Astro won, 6-2.

For a while after the field trip there was relative peace between the rival classes, although the Astro students were clamoring to play a prank on Pbio. Finally, Astro TA Lauren agreed. The Pbio classroom was invaded by binocular-weilding astronomers who wrote "THE ROMULANS ARE COMING!!!!" on the chalkboard, thoroughly confusing the Pbio kids, who were ignorant of such higher ideas. Richard challenged Lauren to a break-key match, and won, but everyone knows that was just a matter of luck, and no indication of Pbio's superiority (which is, of course, a ludicrous idea. As Vienna and Liz told Richard, in 2009 Pbio was better because Vienna and Liz were in it. In 2010, Astro was better, for the same reason).

Pbio retaliated by taping astrology charts to the door of the Astro classroom. Much to the annoyance of the students, Astro teacher Jason refused to let them play further pranks on Pbio. Instead, the Astro class resorted to ignoring Pbio's prank entirely--it was so bad it didn't even deserve recognition.

In 2011, at least two of the Astro girls plan to attend Pbio. Stay tuned...!

2011.1

DO THE MUFFIN...BOOM!

During the second Acting Improv of 2011.1, the sphinx was asked a seemingly ordinary question:

"O, great and might Sphinx... Do you know the Muffin Man?"

However, during the answer to this question, the sphinx spoke the words "Do the muffin." When these words were spoken, Ajay Nadig and Alex Kohanski looked at each other, and said in unison: "IT'S A DANCE!" Then, on a spot to the side of the Acting Improv circle, they proceeded to choreograph a simple, but beautiful dance.

Picture of Ajay and Alex doing the muffin for the first time

Within the next week, the muffin became a meme around the quad, making its way into numerous breakdance circles (Ajay and Alex pictured) and Acting Improv jokes. Alex and Ajay were astounded to find random people doing the dance they had created. The Muffin was performed to numerous songs, especially the Nyan Cat song. It is likely that a dance of such calibre will persevere throughout the ages.

Video of people doing The Muffin in Schnader Lounge