Bret Kramer

Bret Kramer lives in a cardboard box under a bridge during the year. Every June, Galen tracks him down, douses him with mouthwash and delousing powder, makes him shave, and drives him to Carlisle.

He is also said to live on the blood of young, crabby, sometimes spoiled, and always naïve children. Yummy!

Bret always laughs heartily during the "American Pie" line "I saw Satan laughing with delight" at dances.

Bret is also somewhat infamous for his Talent Show act at Carlisle in 00.1, in which he put milk and a turkey sandwich into a blender, blended it, and then drank the resulting goo. It was truly disgusting to behold, and has inspired numerous followup acts by other staffers in subsequent years, mostly by Ian Hull.

A running joke is that he is always kidnapped or otherwise taken against his will by some sort of outside force, either aliens or time travelers or the like for every Big Saturday and First Friday event. The Big Nickelodeon Saturday mandatory fun event made fun of this joke in 07.1, when Bret walked onstage demanding to be kidnapped, since it had happened the last 16 times. The staff then relented and led him offstage in imaginary handcuffs. The event itself usually entails playing themed games to "rescue" Bret from his captors, despite the fact that he is always seen walking around the campus during the activities. When talked to, he usually does a humorous impression of his captors.

In seriousness, Bret has been working for CTY for many, many years, having started as an RA and worked his way up to his current position of Site Director at Carlisle. He's quite brilliant at the job, and clearly loves working with students and staff alike. We can only hope that he continues to work with CTY for years to come.

EDIT: Much to the dismay of returning students, Bret Kramer did not return to CTY Carlisle for Session 2 of 2008. The students were deprived of Bret's beautiful sandwich/cake metaphor and his commentary during Starcrash.