Memories:LOU

2008.1

The CCC

During session one of 2008, David Short's hall (third floor Hines) was graced with the presence of one Alexander Postnikov, a true Soviet and a credit to all Russians. In his efforts to convert the entire hall into communists, he repossessed one of the closets, which soon became transformed into a twisted horror-house filled with, in the words of its owner, "freakish Asian midgets" (along with one Dan Phelps, one of the least Asian people ever, and Alex himself), called the Communist Conversion Center (CCC). Vict—er, converts were led into the closet blindfolded, seated on a chair, and then sealed in the closet. The concealed communists, along with a violinist (Hyun Lee) began to chant, play discordant notes, and flash a red flashlight as the vict—er, convert's blindfold was removed. Simultaneously, outside communists would flicker the lights in the closet and bang on the door; chanting ranged from "stamp out doubt" to "one of us" to "real lightening [sic]". When they exited the CCC, new communists were expected to salute one or more great communists of the past. The most popular was "Hail Marx", but the CCC turned out communists from such diverse backgrounds as Maoism, Castroism, and Leninism. News spread quickly, and soon the CCC had seen two RAs and numerous students from all floors of Hines within its depths. The CCC also spawned several spin-off fads, from a communist secret handshake to a constant back-and-forth of "Hail Marx" between converts as well as chants of "One of us!" and "Two plus two equals five". (This later was countered by a smattering of "Two plus two equals fish").

Hail Marx!