User:Curtainlurker
BTH.07.2.HERO → Hassler 1, Lucy's hall.
LAN.08.2.WRT3.A → Thomas 2 South, Kirsten's hall.
LAN.09.2.ETYM.A → Schnader 1 North, Kirsten's hall.
LAN.10.1.WRT4B → Thomas 2 South, Kristen's hall.
I am Marnie Pimentel, and:
- a onemore LANatic from New York
- awkward, strange, and bisexual
- "the kind of person who brings out the evil in someone. Or, combination evil/sweet. Like a particularly diabolical Swedish fish." ~ Declan Kennedy
- a spouse in the 161-person marriage to Mike Millian at LAN.09.2
- the LAN 09.2 and 10.1 Quotebook Keeper
- ...adorable?
- in your eyes
- in your mind
- on PCTYD with the same username
- on Facebook
And lots of other things. Also, you just lost The Game.
I love CTY, and I love you. Is that poetic enough?
LAN.09.2 Quotebook
Compiled by Marnie Pimentel. Various quotes were also scrounged from Haley B-E’s Notebook of Win and Giby Gibianski’s Thought Book, since much of the quote book was lost near the end of the session…cutting it down from around 300 quotes to near 150. If you find mistakes, correct them, please.
1. “Otter, I’m a killer whale!” ~ Various
2. “Wanna see a repeat joke?” ~ Various Alcovians
3. “Sweetie, forget her. I’ll bear your children.” ~ Eliz
4. Ali: “Listen, I know I’m a good looking woman, but please leave me alone.”
Otter: *laughs* “I have no morals.”
5. *with hands flung out at ninety-degree angles* “Okay, I know I’m Jesus, but don’t take it this literally…” ~ Eliz
6. “I told you I wanted the whipped cream half an hour ago!” ~ Otter
7. “Oh my god, he’s finally dead!” *proceeds to lick*” ~ Race
8. “Pikachu! I just wanna chop you up and feed you to orphans!” ~ Otter
9. “Hey Sean, what’s the etymology of ‘orgy’?” ~ Ramsey
10. “The service of a prostitute cannot be brought back.” ~ Greek textbook
11. Charlie: My door is open from 10:30 to 11 every night, and you can come in whenever you like.
Otter: Ooooh! I will.
12. “I’m Hermione’s Patronus!” ~ Otter
13. “Did he make you deputy Headmaster?” (Press Conference: Married Dumbledore)
14. “Am I Race in Harry Potter land?” ~ Charlie
15. “Wait, horses have sex?” ~ Allison
16. “I think we just gave Otter the quirk of…being Otter.” (Party Quirks: thinks that he’s a character in High School Musical)
17. “Don’t be subtle! You have only three weeks to get her to take her pants off!” ~ Cleo
18. “When slow dancing, you have to leave room for Jesus. Except you don’t need to leave that much room, because she’s really skinny.” ~ Liz
19. “Everything in Gumdrop Land is make of Gumdrops.” (New choice!) “Everything in Gumdrop Land is made of lava.” ~ Race/Vinny?
20. “I’m a little worried about this.” (New choice!) “I’m a little sad about this. (New choice!) “I’m going to kill you.” ~ Eliz
21. “It makes me want to eat lubricant.” ~ Vinny
22. “O Great and Mighty Sphinx, are Voldemort and Michael Jackson the same person?”
“Yes.” “Period.”
23. “Hugs have to be three to five seconds, so keep going or you’ll make me uncomfortable.” ~ Marnie
24. “VOLFEMORT HAS HIM BONDAGE!” ~ My Immortal
25. “All hail Sean Lake’s crotch…all hail Sean Lake’s crotch…” ~ Tess
26. “It’s clearly unicorn buttsex.” ~ Wendy
27. “Feel the tree! Feel the photosynthesis!” ~ Otter Lee
28. Park Bench: “Hi, I go on 4chan.” ~ Marnie
29. “The blue-green fish is purple.” ~ Connie
30. “Oooh, I have a pickup line! You. Me. Rule 34.” ~ Marnie
31. “Flesh is strength.” ~ Sean
32. “This sentence is beautiful.” ~ Allison
33. “What’s your pet peeve?”
Declan: “Murder.”
34. “Death is bad. To steal is bad. Therefore, death = stealing.” ~ Ramsey
35. “One in every hundred images is a cow.” ~ Ramsey
36. “Pain. Is. Pleasure.” ~ ETYM class (οδὐνη ἡδονη)
37. “The winds are the bile of horses.” ~ Tess
38. Tess: “The marketplace of children is the theater of pain.”
Sean: “The marketplace of pain is the theater of children!”
39. “My brother is a woman.” - Tess
40. “Half a fish is holy.” ~ Sara
41. “This is my Gnomic saying: women are hot.” ~ Yoni
This is quote 42.
43. [reading Life of Pi] “I looked between my legs. I thought I would faint for joy.”
Marnie: “Bzzt.”
44. “I hate you. Let’s go bowling.” ~ Em
45. “I need a thermometer condom.” ~ Various
46. “Dammit! I’m in drag and I’m still gay.” ~ Liz
47. “I’m another kind of happy. Trigger happy.” ~ Mike
48. “No throwing ninja stars in class!” ~ Tortoise
49. Marnie: My favorite weapons are words.
Dan: My favorite weapons are guns!
50. “You may be awarded penance or penis points, and you are not allowed to say anus pronouns while in the Universe.” ~ Gibi/Liz?
51. Ben: “Hey guys, look!” *holds up cicada shell*
Marnie: “FFFFFFUUUUUUU”
Ben: “No, no, it’s empty. It’s an empty outside shell.”
Marnie: “It’s just…like…me…”
52. Gibi: “People usually use their fingers, but I get yelled at a lot for that.”
Marnie: “Bzzt.”
53. “Oh man, you wanna hear about Sada Abe? Okay, so there was this married couple in Japan, right, and they were really into sadomasochism so they kept strangling each other and threatening one another with a kitchen knife and were all turned on by it. Yeah? So Sada Abe, she cuts off her husband’s penis, he bleeds to death…and she pulls a Race.” ~ Marnie
54. “In Soviet Russia, babies eat YOU!” ~ Liz
55. Sean: “Where is the worst place to be stabbed in battle?”
Allison: “Your…area!”
56. “I just killed 108 people. Now dance! Dance like it’s a wedding!” ~ Odysseus (paraphrased by Sean Lake)
57. “No, unfortunately, Ovid didn’t have Viagra.” ~ Sean Lake
58. “Bullets are like raindrops. Except faster.” ~ Sean Lake
59. “O Great and Mighty Sphinx, why did you think this was a good idea?” [referring to giant nomore pile]
“Shut.” “Down.”
60. “O Great and Mighty Sphinx, how do you get a black lanyard?”
“Favors.” “Sexual.”
61. “O Great and Mighty Sphinx, what is love?”
“Baby.” “Don’t.” “Hurt.” “Me. “NOMORE.” “Period.”
62. “O Great and Mighty Sphinx, what are the other ingredients of strawberry kiwi lemonade?”
“Rip’s.” “Pants.” “America.” “Period.”
63. “So apparently, six or more people in a bed without shoes on constitutes an orgy.” ~ Liz
64. ???: “I’m sorry.”
???: “Stop apologizing!”
???: “I’m sorry.”
65. (to Marnie in pigtails, suit jacket, and fedora) “You look just like a terrorist!” ~ Otter
66. Sean: “Oh yeah, all my friends call me that.”
Yoni: “Are they really your friends?”
67. “Don’t you DARE lick those people!” ~ RA Sarah
68. “I always thought human flesh was kinda sour-tasting.” ~ Gibi?
69. Charlie: “There’s this joke that our hall [TOPI B] is the most homoerotic hall on cam — “
Mike: “THAT WASN’T A JOKE, CHARLIE.”
70. “So she declared.”[1] ~ Various
71. “[goose call]” ~ Stacee
72. “Why haven’t you been answering your calculator?!” ~ Declan
83. “You[r mouth] taste[s] like a KiVO spoon.” ~ Claim it
84. “What’s this? Otter is evolving into…RA Charlie!” ~ Alex
85. “A wild Dennis appears!” ~ Alex
86. “Dennis uses ASK NICELY. It has no effect.” ~ Alex
87. “Incest is WINCEST!” ~ Liz
88. “I’m straight as a rainbow.” ~ Liz? Dennis?
89. “What happens at CTY, stays on Facebook.” ~ Stu
90. Sean: “Do it from behind so I can’t see it coming.”
ETYM: “Bzzt.”
91. Sean: “What’s your name again?”
???: “So she declared…"
92. “Happily single means you’re happy I’m single.” ~ Cassidy
93. “No, I’ve already been impregnated four times today, so I’m pretty sure it’s you.” ~ Liz
94. “Your reasoning is phallacious. It resembles a penis.” ~ Liz/Haley
95. “Sausage fail.” ~ Dennis
96. Liz: “Orifice-hole.”
Haley: “Isn’t that kind of redundant?”
Liz: “Hole-hole.”
Haley: “Hole squared.”
Liz: “Meta-meta logic-logic-logic.”
Emma: “What on earth was in the food today?”
97. “Do you want me to put your basilisk in my chamber of secrets?” ~ Liz (Also: “It would be a bad thing if the basilisk died inside the Chamber of Secrets…”)
98. ‘The lesbians were not discovered by me.” ~ Gibi
99. “Cherry-flavored assault?” ~ Liz
100. “Stop! You’re egging on the gay orgy in my bedroom!” ~ Vinny
101. “He’s trying to make me female!” ~ Dennis
102. “Single-file lines are for Nazis.” ~ Otter
103. “Two people, one very large diving suit.” ~ Haley
104. “We don’t want KiVO to crucify us!” ~ Victor/Charlie/Gibi/?
105. “That must suck about being tall. You have a small penis. Ha-ha, tall people, ha-ha!” ~ Victor
106. “Are there nuclear launch codes embedded into your gay porn? … Is ‘nuclear launch’ now a euphenism?” ~ Cassidy
107. “Why is Antarctica a fish?” ~ Liz
108. “And the cheese is like ‘Caw! Caw!’ and the raven is like, ‘HOLY SHIT! A talking cheese! I don’t wanna eat that,’ and flies away. And then the fox dies of radiation poisoning.” ~ Gibi
109. “Michael Jackson: The Game. You accumulate white points to eventually become as white as possible. LIttle boys boost your energy and make you happy.” ~ James
110. “Look what you’ve done! You fucked the rainbow off!” ~ Victor
111. Shae: “Welcome to GLOW.”
?: “Wait, you mean this isn’t zombie awareness? … I guess I’ll be leaving now…”
112. “I feel dirty in so many languages now…” ~ Cassidy
113. “You realize Second Saturday is like Victor’s Christmas, right?” ~ Cassidy
114. “I’m not a whore. I feel depressed.” ~ Rebecca
115. “Cells reproduce asexually. I am made of cells. Therefore, I reproduce asexually.” ~ Sam (guy Sam)
116. “Aww, they’re so cute…poop.” ~ Haley
117. Dan: “Charlie, my penis just broke in half.”
Charlie: “That’s okay…cuz you can put it back togedda wit some RIIIIIIICE!”
118. “Wait…there are twins that make out? I want to see that!” ~ Gibi
119. “You rhair smells like my outhouse. … I mean, there’s a scented candle and it smells like that. … Oh, shut up.” ~ Cassidy
120. “Victor’s very rape-able.” ~ Jay
121. “A wonderful children’s book: Do Vampires Eat Piggies?” ~ Liz
122. “If you show me your gay porn, I’ll tell you who I’m stalking.” ~ Cassidy
123. Victor: “I’m having sex with your back.”
Gibi: “…is it a good sex partner?”
Victor: “No. It SUCKS.”
124. “Wait…someone gave Stuart Red Bull? That’s like giving Osama bin Ladin your stockpile of SARS.” ~ Cassidy
125. “…an overwhelming desire to fuck one’s mom or climb back into one’s uterus.” ~ Peter
126. “Tonks — she can change herself into thousands of different faces — AND THEY’RE ALL ON FIRE!” ~ Cassidy
127. “You guys are awful human beings.” ~ Cameron
128. “It’s like all roads lead to Rome. All roads lead to Mike’s mouth.” ~ Cassidy
129. “I started out the day straight but now I’m at least heteroflexible. Not quite sure how that happened, but now I’ve made out with more guys than girls.” ~ Cassidy
130. “The question should be, why are there ONLY two people reaching into your crotch area?” ~ Cassidy
131. “Remember, remember, the 5th of November, the crotchtag treason and plot.” ~ Cassidy
132. “You were crushed by a two-ton John the Baptist.” ~ Jim
133. “We spooned. It was fun.” ~ Liz
134. “I’m not crazy.” ~ Otter
135. “Even though the tofu have the texture of the inside of a limp penis, it is delicious.” ~ Cassidy
136. Cassidy: “Ouch! I can’t deep throat…ow my tonsils…I broke it.” (referring to a banana)
Dennis: “I have a version you CAN’T break if you want…”
Cassidy: “Oh, don’t be so sure.”
137. “I’m not going to lick Stuarts face, no you can’t make me.” ~ Sam
138. Giby: “You could just ask for the hat back…”
Rebecca: “No, that’s mean; I’ll just steal it back.”
139. “Saying that My Immortal is a ‘bad’ Harry Potter fanfic is like saying that the Holocaust was a ‘bad’ year.” ~ Liz? Cassidy?
140. Giby: “It’d be worse if he asked what sex was.”
Nimish: “What’s sex?”
Giby: “Let me show you.”
141. “I slowdanced for the first time at CTY with the cute one [I keep] in my basement.” ~ Nimish
142.”Q.E.D., bitch!” ~ Soham and Jay
143. “In problems 6 - 9, you will be asked a question. Answer it.” ~ Telephone operator entrance exam
144. “Somebody call DRL / A couple’s making out on the dance floor, woah! / Something dirty’s just might start if you don’t break them apart / On the dance floor, woah! / Make room for Jesus, room for Jesus on the dance floor... (x4)” -Eliz Leimkuhler/Dan Tracht/Sam Fomon
145. “Dark curls, with our heads underneath/We got a bounce in our hair, and you know that it’s sweet/and they touch it (touch it) but they ain’t got no need/there’s another over there that looks just like me/C-c-c-curls always boun…ce when we walk/so the girls don’t see our eyes whenever we talk/and tell your boyfriend (boyfriend), if he says that we’re wrong/all the ladies only like it curly and long!
She wants to touch it woah-oh/She wants to love it woah-oh/She’ll never leave it woah-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh/Don’t trust a fro/Never trust a fro/Won’t trust a fro/Don’t trust me. [repeat]
“Fingers” always run through our locks/and the girls- they- come running in flocks/and the shampoo (shampoo) you stole from our room/smells like a flower, in mid-April bloom/B-b-b-babes always under our arms/Fah-low us like we got a treat in our palms/and the best is (best is) you all know who we are/two kids with big hair and “skin that is dark”
"Shush, girl/shut your trap/You know you want the fro/'cause straight hair is crap/I said...(repeat)"
~ Vinny and Race
146. “Okay, I’m going over there. If you’ve never kissed me, and you thought I was cute at all, you should come over there. If you’ve kissed me once and want to kiss me again, you should come over here. … Come on people, FLOCK!” ~ Mike
147. Liz: “Today’s actually my 16th birthday…”
Dan: “AGE OF CONSENT!”
148. “I love CTY, I love the Passionfruit, and this stuff tastes like ass.” ~ Cassidy
149. “You are shedding PINS!” ~ Dan
150. Rips: “Hey, do you know a Yuri? Does anyone know a Yuri?”
Theo: “Um, Rips, I wouldn’t be shouting that so loudly if I were you…”
Rips: “What? Why?”
Theo: “Yuri is lesbian anime porn.”
Rips: “…YURI! YURI! YURI!”
LAN 10.1 Quotebook
1. DRL: "Loud was good, short was...probably lacking there."
"Bzzt."
2. "On a scale from one to fly, you're 'fwoosh.'" - Eloise
3. "I would only eat you figuratively!" - Marnie
4. "What do you do to your gerbils?" - TA Sarah
5. Robin: "Nothing that promotes pornography, racism, prejudice..."
Jeremy: "So no 4chan?"
6. "We use 'I love you' instead of things like 'thank you for lending me your pen,' or 'I feel an intense sexual attraction to you.'" - Abbey
7. "Wanna buy a duck?"
"Does it quack?"
"No."
8. "Please, that chain, sir! I need it for shoelaces!"
9. [Someone is flailing about on the ground.] "And that's why you don't swing your lanyard!" - Joey
10. "Dude, check it, I can hear the ocean."
11. "So if I rub your hair fast enough, you'll go Super Saiyan!" - Russian Sam
12. "Ghana beat us in the World Cup? Bomb it!" - Wesley
13. "The economy doesn't work? Bomb it!" - Wesley
14. "If you make out with a clone of yourself, is it incest or masturbation?"
15. "If 4chan is the asshole, then deviantART is the sweaty armpits of the internet."
16. "Falcon Punch accidentally the entire world."
17. "I have an eraser that smells like Coca-Cola. Wanna sniff some Coke?" - Abbey
18. "Yeah, well, you...you...you have a face!" - Erik
19. Kohanski: "I do drama."
Marnie: "I am drama."
Kohanski: "I see what you did there."
20. "Twilight is real life with abusive undercurrents and sparkling vampires." - Abbey
21. "What about Barbie's multiracial doll friends?" - Signs of Life in the USA
22. "tl;dr I'm a dick."
23. "Oh my gosh, you're carrying a spoon. And so it begins." - Instructor Robin
24. "Buy this product, and this product will have sex with you. - Abbey
25. Various GLOWers: "I'm here because of Erik."
Shae: "Erik, I don't even want to know your persuasive methods."
26. "'James' is not short for 'Jame-uel!" - Turtle
27. "Magical magicness? Magical testicles?" - Eloise
28. "I need somebody to help me transfer money."
"I'm from Nigeria; I can help you with that."
29. "My dog thinks you're sitting on a fire hydrant."
"My dog thinks you are a fire hydrant."
"My dog thinks you're another dog."
30. "What did you do with the flag?!" - Kohanski (Press Conference: ate the moon)
31. "DICE! DICE! DICE!" - Half-Life: slay dragon
32. "Did you abuse a rabbit?"
"It needed time to die!"
33. "I swear, it's like all of my employees have selected amnesia...they have to make up their excuses when they get to work." - Turtle
34. "We're gonna build you a bear. We're gonna build you a spirit bear!" - Turtle
35. "Oh great and mighty Sphinx, I'm 12 years old and what is this?"
36. "Oh great and mighty Sphinx, what is the meaning of 'supercalafragalisticsexpialadocious?'"
37. "They're out to get children on the quad! You must run quickly! But not actually run, just...walk really fast..."
38. "Pubic hairs are bad enough without duct tape." - Chris
39. "My name is Pierre. I'm from France and I'm here to have sex with your family." - Abbey
40. "Yo, duct tape is hard to rape! ...I mean, rip..." - Chris
41. "I'm going to get pregnant and -- " - Erik
This is quote 42.
43. "I'm gonna be a nun." - Erik
44. "Turtle! The orgy depends on you!"
45. "I'm gonna tell you a story, then partyboy Phil." - TA Sarah
46. TA Sarah: "Give me some outlaw heroes."
Phil: "David Bowie?"
47. TA Sarah: "What are some characteristics of a hero?"
Eloise: "Being heroic?"
48. "Snakes! Snakes killed Dumbledore! Snakes!"
49. "What does erotic look like?"
"Your face."
50. "All puns intended in this class. Always." - Sean Lake
51. "Thank you, computer, you're such a good slave." - Sean Lake
52. "ματερ is the one who mates; πατερ is the one who pates."
53. "Retrograde ass" - ETYM chalkboard
54. Erik: "Let's name Alex's penis!"
Kohanski: "Well, my balls are already named Vladmir and -- "
Erik: "PUTIN!"
55. Eloise: "Will you marry me?"
Erik: "I'm gay."
56. "So let's have a bunch of really smart kids at a college during the summer..." - World's Worst Reality Show
57. "Guys. How about we put two groups of people who can't stand each other in the same place? We'll call it...the Middle East!" - World's Worst Reality Show
58. "I'm sorry. I was carrying a baby. It was our baby." - Erik (Late to Work)
59. "I was giving birth!" - Erik(Late to Work)
60. "I was on Faye." - Erik (Late to Work)
61. "I was in your eyes?" - Erik (Late to Work)
62. "Oh shit! We have to get to Viridian City! But his power level is too strong!" - Sam Bauman
63. Faye: "All hail the Island Coconut Tree!"
Alcovians: "It died for our sins!"
64. "*vuvuzela*" - Josh
65. "Joe Lodin says to be safe tonight."
"Let's do somersaults!"
66. "They were at Jew church; they're wearing Jew caps." - Kohanski
67. "No running. Only cowering."
68. "Ha ha, you think you're ugly."
69. "Your eyes look like a dying universe." - Marnie, to Kohanski
70. "Whoa! Shoe people make glasses?" - Silver, concerning Kohanski's Converse brand glasses
71. "All your penises look like vaginas, so I vote for Georgia O'Keefe."
72. "How could it not win? The card is 'manly' and it's balls!"
73. "What comes under your penis?"
74. "I'm obsessed with biracial skin."
75. "You don't look like a whore. Do you want to look like a whore?" - Erik, to Faye
76. "Pedofire." - Silver, Jared, Lily
77. ???: "We also married a Mudkip."
Jared: "You put my name on what?"
78. Marnie, writing "property of Marnie" on Silver: "I now own your vagina."
Silver: "Hooray?..."
79. "You're disrupting my head."
"Bzzt."
80. "Let's troll the nurse with tattoos!" - Russian Sam
81. "We need to do really sexual creeping." - Faye
82. "It's just a jump to the jump to the jump to the jump to the jump -- " - Russian Sam
83. "We need to get the positions right, and we need to get you better." - Faye
84. "Three steps to happiness: deny, deny, deny." - Russian Sam?
85. "Chips, dip, chains and whip."
86. "MORE DATA THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR." - Sam Bauman, Russian Sam, possibly Jonah
87. "These are the right tentacles, no pun intended." - Sam Bauman
88. "Crazy math sex" - Sam Bauman
89. "Radium on genitals: not a good idea." - Sam Bauman
90. "When life gives you lemons, you WRITE THEM DOWN." - Sam Bauman
91. "When life gives you lemons, you act them out. No. You act them out AGAIN." - Russian Sam
92. "This is not my penis. How do I stop it from forming." - Turtle
93. "Your ass is, like, hard to hit." - Russian Sam
94. "My grandfather would approve." - Turtle, concerning Rocky Horror
95. "Turtle is a rape magnet." - Kohanski
96. "Best prank ever: go into someone's house when they're away and label everything. Like, if there's a brick wall, label it 'brick', 'brick', 'brick', 'brick', 'brick'..." - Sam Bauman
97. "When lemons give you life you FIND NEW LEMONS."
98. "Why would a banana have an orgasm?"
99. "Hitler would kill you. But he would say you're cute first." - Kohanski
100. "They used to be cat ears. Now they're Down's Syndrome." - Marnie
101. "I just called you a bitch. Is there anything wrong with that?"
102. "Special, or special. Pick one." - Silver
103. TA Sarah: "Okay, we are not stripping. This is not The Critical Essay: Strip Culture."
"But we are stripping! Culture...down..."
104. "Morgan's distracting me; her finger's in her...fly...?" - Phil
105. "Morgan, I keep looking at your toes. They look like they're rotting off." - Phil
106. "My boobs hurt from frolicking." - Marnie
107. "MORE ROOMS THAN YOUR BODY HAS LIGHTS FOR." - Sam Bauman
108. "The trees look like green truffles." - Yerin
109. "Is Kim short for, like, Kimothy?"
110. "Guys, I think my uterus is broken."
111. "I don't care about your feelings." - Instructor Robin
112. "Okay, gender codes. Guns! Versus...babies?" - Instructor Robin
113. "Fuck my life up the ass sideways with a sparkly Twilight dildo that's on fucking fire."
114. "Penis! Big fucking erect penis -- "
115. "Deel-do." - Lily
116. "Would you like a knife massage? It's kind of like acupuncture." - Russian Sam
117. "I'm playing Wah! alone."
118. "I'm combing grass. With a spoon."
119. "We'll get out of this together -- using the power of friendship!" - Russian Sam
120. "What can't she do?"
"Have a coherent conversation?" (Party Quirks: can't turn left)
121. "I'm sorry I'm late; I had a heart attack." - Eloise
122. "I fell in love with Quazimodo." - Eloise
123. "What are you doing?"
"What beautiful trees!"
124. "Rose -- the water and -- glug."
125. "OPENING CEREMONDIES YEAAAAH" - Wesley (Half-life: Olympics)
126. "I'm gonna die of AAAAAAAAAAAA - Wesley
127. "Hi. You know what screw this BOMB IT ALL" - Wesley
128. "The greatest mirror house of all time: it doesn't have any mirrors."
129. "I have an idea! Let's call the house of mirrors 'existentialism'!" - Sam Bauman
130. "I prefer ninjas to pirates." - Wesley (World's Worst: parrot)
131. "Oh great and mighty Sphinx, what makes strawberry kiwi lemonade so good?"
"Magical."
"Poison."
132. "Forrest Gump? More like Forrest Hump." - Phil
133. "It's the come-on, it's the flirt, it's the chase, it's the game!" - Instructor Robin
134. "Did somebody just say 'stop humping the tree?'"
"Yes."
[awkward makeout]
135. Marnie: "What if all CTYers went to the same school?"
Kohanski: "THE MEMES!"
Marnie: "THE SEX!
136. "Nothing sexual. I kind of phrased that badly. Although I did just kinda see my roommate's penis." - Anonymous
137. "You have a six-pack? GET OUT. SHOW." - Instructor Robin, to Nathan and Joseph?
138. "They're objectifying cancer!" - Eloise
139. "Feel prostate strong." - Outdoor Life ("What's a prostate?")
140. "Look at this sexy Asian face! Those are, like, 'teabag me' eyes!" - Erik, concerning Marnie
141. "I like orgasms!" - Russian Sam as Mr. Dictator
142. "The most holy and orgasmic bitch." - Russian Sam as Mr. Dictator
143. "The fundamental property of bitches." - Russian Sam as Mr. Dictator
144. "THAT'S A PEINOUS HONOUN!" - Joey
145. "You're a bag of cocks."
146. "Bag of Holding Cocks +5."
147. "The world is now round -- "
"LIKE A COCKRING."
148. "You're rubbing your eyebrows...sensually?"
149. "The vagina is a lie perpetuated by Elton John and Hitler."
150. "Do your genitals hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?" - Kohanski
151. "Goldidicks."
152. "Goldicocks."
153. "If we assume Elton John, Hitler, and Freud, then we can assume everything. The Cockring Theorem."
154. "A bucket list of dicks."
155. "CTbi."
156. Lily: "Well, it'd be kinda awkward with a big wooden thing in front of you..."
"Bzzt."
157. "All I want is sex. All these guys want is to talk and cuddle." - Marnie
158. "So I had a notebook, and then my friend took it and he drew a ballsack -- "
159. "She secretly wants to murder me, which really hurts my feelings." - Ryan
160. "Joseph! Come here and look up gun porn for us." - Instructor Robin
161. "Three seconds and you're pregnant -- immaculate conception! There are now multiple Jesuses...Jesi?" - Abbey
162. Kohanski: "I had a Seangasm."
Marnie: "So for all of 09.2 everybody had a 3-week long orgasm?"
163. "Complete global masturbation."
164. "Complete global menstruation."
165. "Complete global castration."
166. "Go, Riley! Crutch like the wind!" - Eloise
167. "PeenpeenpeenpeenpeenpeenpeenpeenpeenPENIS!" - Erik
168. [There is cake.] "What is this for?"
Staff: "IT'S FOR DESSERT."
169. "Misery is in the air. People dying everywhere. Happy birthday. Happy birthday."
170. "SUGARTIT!"
171. "I am civil to your mother." - car commercial
172. [To the tune of "Paparazzi" by Lady GaGa] "Papa, papa, papa-blowjob." - Erik
173. "PDDA: Public Displays of Domestic Abuse."
174. "I don't like this. They got all the RAs from Craigslist." - Erik
175. "Bitch. You're my gay father."
Erik: "I'm only gay and your father if you want me to be..."
176. "I only anally raped you because I love you." - Erik
177. "You're my mother and my sister."
"We're in Greece?"
178. "Get off me! I never loved you! I loved the idea of you!" - Erik
179. "Sweetie, it's just anal rape." - Erik
180. "It's like a piece of chocolate melting in my mouth. But up my -- "
181. "Your mother is such an ovum." - Erik
182. "Park bench! Get off the person!" - Sam Bauman
183. "Okay, give us some quirks."
"Slowly returning to the womb!"
184. "The whale spit out seamen." - Logic
185. "What is long and full of seamen?"
"A submarine."
186. "12 + 69 = 0."
Sam Bauman: "MOD WHAT?"
187. World's Worst Firefighter: "Somebody call 911!"
188. "Hm...needs more peanut products." - Sam Bauman (World's Worst: chef)
189. "Attila the Pun."
189. "You should be punished for your penal offense."
190. "I swear, officer, I thought it was milk!" - World's Worst: chef/lobotomy
191. "I'm going to be a flamboyant druid."
192. "At the end of your ballpoint pen is actually a nuclear warhead."
193. "Mr. Dictator! I'm losing control of my muscles!"
194. "Gentlemen! Everything is going according to my vagina!"
195. "Look, a crotch shot." - Instructor Robin
196. "It might imply a threesome." - Instructor Robin
197. "The attractive, eager waitress is mystically drawn to the man who relieved her bored frustrations with an orgasmic chug-a-lug." - Signs of Life in the USA (Pop Cult textbook)
198. "We're not being inappropriate; we're objectifying women." - Phil
199. "You know what would be the best slogan for a nerd porn company and/or sex toy shop? 'All your orgasms are belong to us.'" - Kohanski
200. "'Condom' is a verb now?"
201. "...supported by the driving, phallic backbeat in the sound track..." - Signs of Life in the USA
202. "Stop shooting me with your giant banana."
203. "Everybody, look at my dick-tion!" - Ryan
204. "I orgasmed ironically. I sargasmed. I...I am such a hipster." - Kohanski
205. "If you wave your arms around, all you end up doing is rubbing dicks."
206. "Jizz is frothy? That's like your penis has rabies." - Kohanski
207. "Your face is so cute when I say 'bag of cocks'!" - Marnie, to Lily
208. "I don't need hips. Or testicles." - Kohanski
209. "A wild HERPES appears! Run! Can't escape! Run! Can't escape! Run! Can't escape! [ad explodium]" - Kohanski
210. "I just took off my foreskin."
211. "You're a studious emo hooker."
Kohanski: "I'm in college."
212. "I'm having my period!" - Some guy
213. "Do you want your tits back?"
214. "Hallelujah, it's raining drag queens." - Erik
215. "Dumblewhore."
216. "We need to look creepy and sexy." - Faye
217. "Guys. It's not that hard to make tits." - Erik
218. "Your penis is like the Loch Ness Monster in that it doesn't exist."
219. "FIFA: Futbol Is For Assholes."
220. "I'm more modest than all of you!"
221. "Santa's list is in binary."
223. Kristen: "Things in Las Vegas that start with 's'?"
Kristen's entire hall: "Strippers."
224. Faye: [name list for Silent Football] "Misty."
Joey: "Ash Ketchum."
Turtle: "Professor Bitch."
225. "I'm in your hand, trolling your body. ...ew." - Kohanski
226. "Suck the karma!"
227. "Cervically Talented Youth."
228. "Laps Cock is cruise control for cool." - Kohanski
229. "I organismed." - Jonah
230. "I got an orgasm in the mail."
231. "Holy dick!"
232. "ORBIT MOAR." - Sam Bauman and Marnie
233. "Play-Doh is now a sexual act."
234. "Let's all look into each other's eyes as we tummy party."
235. "Eriktion."
236. "I'm feeling thrustings on the other side! This is not okay! This is not okay!"
237. "If this spider tries to rape me I'll punch it in the face."
238. "He has France on his foot."
239. "You guys are a dick."
"You are one collective penis."
240. "MORE SEX THAN YOUR QUOTEBOOK HAS ROOM FOR." - Sam Bauman
241. "MORE QUOTES THAN YOUR SEXBOOK HAS ROOM FOR." - Marnie
242. "Don't let my what the fucks interrupt you."
243. "I definitely just heard 'I'm really good at sex.'" - Shae
244. "If you don't give me Post-It notes, I will encrypt your soul."
245. "I laughed statistically."
246. Joey: "Are we mobility impaired?"
Sam Bauman: "Or are we dancer?"
247. "What the fuck are you dong?"
248. "My heart is beating in 6/8 time." - Rudy
249. "What happens in this room stays on Facebook for years." - Turtle, requoted by Sam Bauman
250. "THE SHAPES!" - Josh, concerning spitwebs
251. "How does a guy give birth?"
"Through his penis."
252. Marnie: "They had to stick a Q-tip up my urethra -- "
Joey: "WHAT OKAY UM BAI"
253. "Screw you. With a dildo. Made of vampires."
254. "I am going to fly off in normal pterodactyl fashion." - Midori
255. "I will castrate you, young sir."
256. "Be true to your penis: jack off regularly." - Kohanski
257. "I will take over the world and then pimp it to my heart's ocntent." - Abbey
258. "Something is vibrating on my crotch."
"I was humming!"
259. "You can look like a gorilla or a dragon or a giant talking penis in the Metaverse." - Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash
260. "We need pictures of you and your friends doing CTY-appropriate things." - Hall meeting agenda
261. "We are going to impregnate this mayonnaise." - Kohanski
262. "I use male pronouns and I kill beetles." - Jeff
263. "I'm Seth, and I'm really confused..." - Seth
264. "I don't like pronouns. You can all refer to me as 'The Midori.'" - Midori
265. "Laps cock is bruise control for cruel." - Sam Bauman
266. "DEATH TO AMERICA" - Wesley/Josh
267. Ryan: "We're gonna go hook up in the hallway, okay?"
TA Sarah: "As long as you're quiet."
268. "My pants are way-ut." - Instructor Robin
269. "I think you do drugs for a living." - Ryan
270. "You've taken on the role of prankster and genital maimer." - Ryan
271. "Herpaderpes." - Eloise
272. "Holy fuck shit cocking damn."
273. "That's a boy wearing a skirt! With trucks on it!" - Shae
274. "I like my internets like I like my women: covered in /b/." - Turtle
275. "I like my internets like I like my /b/s: not on my report card." - Sam Bauman
276. "Oral sex is pretty bad. You should take lessons." - Turtle
277. "I'm a pterodactyl, short and stout..." - Midori
278. "Can I make out with my blood!cum?" - Turtle
279. "[name]! There are centipedes in your vagina!" - Joey
280. "Centipedes that release centipedes when they roar!"
281. "Centipedes in your eyesockets!"
282. "Centipedes in my centipedes in my centipedes in my centipedes in my centipedes in my -- [ad explodium]"
283. "I cultivate silkworms in my vagina. For profit." - Deb
284. "Guys! Guys, I have a gag reflex!"
"I don't."
285. "People are peppers!" - Anna
286. "Vaginas? In my centipedes?" - Jonah
287. "A dildo up your urethra." - Jonah
288. "You are now thinking metacognitively." - Jonah
289. "Douche-swagger away." - Jonah
290. "HAL! HAL! HAL! GET BACK HERE! [ad infinitum]" - Kohanski
291. "Millipenii?" - Jonah
292. "Make room for Buddha!" - World's Worst RA
293. "Does your mother wait in line to get pregnant?" - Turtle
294. "Loathing / Unadulterated loathing / For RAs / For rules / For clothing!" - CTY: The Musical
295. "You diagnosed me with 'neutrality'? That's a very serious disease among politicians. It's fatal. That's how Ted Kennedy died." - Kohanski
296. "Vageorge!"
297. "She runs like a Virginian!" - Morgan
298. "This baby looks like a potato; shove it back where it came from." - Abbey
299. "Come here, you studly hunk." - Abbey
300. "It's like getting head from a pirahna."
301. "Fuck my life up the nostril."
303. Marnie: "Skank."
Kohanski: "Bitch."
Marnie: "Skankobitch."
304. Josh: "She has herpaderpes!"
Turtle: "How did she get it?"
Marnie: "I masturbated to /b/."
305. "Get back in the kitchen! And be pregnant this time!" - Abbey
306. "Motivational tampons"
307. "I love CTY, I love mono, and I love the Passionfruit."
308. "I sebble-dessioned last year." - Sam
309. "SchnAIDS?" - Kohanski
310. "Give Jonah Holy Ball." - Russian Sam
311. "And then everything will explode~!" - Sam Bauman
312. "BOMB IT ALL!" - Wesley
313. "I love CTY more than the TOPI boys love the peen."
314. Connie: "This is for Latin."
Kohanski: "This is for Greek."
Marnie: "This is for the resurrected cock."
315. "Thank you for donating your children [...] extract as much energy and enjoyment from them [...] their hands always going up asking for more!"
316. "Samuel! Write me a novel explaining how my dropping the groceries is a metaphor for the fall of the Soviet Union!" - Joey and Turtle and Rudy
