User:Emperorjake
Jake Meyers was a 5-year-freak who went to Carlisle Session 2 from 05-09. He was Emperor in 09. Very few people embody CTY as much, are as well known, and have as many lanyards as Jake. In addition to having the Black and White staff lanyards, he is probably the only CTYer who has a purple CPYB lanyard, which was given to him in his first year by a Rina.
Shorter with Porter
In 05.2, Jake dated Porter, despite her being 3 years older than him (and 3 inches taller), earning the nickname "shorter with porter"
Songwriting
In 07.2, Jake and others (Usually Gary "Squeaky" Minassian and Josh Victor) would walk around with a guitar and improvise humorous songs, such as Speed Racer
Jameson
In 08.2, Jake and Gary would still walk around with the guitar, serenading random strangers in Kline, until they decided to write a parody of Jameson Pesce, lovingly mocking his dedication to fitness. It became an instant classic and they performed it in the talent show. Jameson made a surprise appearance, commenting on their push ups.
On the night of the last dance, RA Max offered to play the Jameson song at the last dance. They furiously recorded it instead of going to dinner and gave it to Max at the last second. The song featured a surprise rap by Jameson.
Crossword Cassie
09.2 saw a return to the improvised songs by Jake and Gary, featuring classics such as Noah, it's nice to know ya, Shuffed to Bits, and It's All Wrong, But It's All Right (which they "wrote").
The TA in International Politics B was Cassie Dobbins, who Jake and Eddie Cytryn found intriguing enough to constantly make attempts to get her number. Jake started taking notes on her during class (just as TAs take notes on the students during class) and frequently noted how bad she was at the New York Times crossword.
One day, during study hall, Cassie gave a stern lecture to International Politics B about her disappointment in their behavior. To put her in a better mood, he wrote her a song called Crossword Cassie, which delighted her the next morning. She still didn't give them her number.
Nomore Year
Jake was Emperor in 09.2 with Eddie as his empress. He still got in all kinds of shenanigans, such as choreographing a dance to It's Raining Men to perform for SRA Megan on her last day. It was rumored that if he didn't take his evening meds, he would start to levitate and float off into space. For this reason, SRAs Megan and Clay forcefully reminded him to get his meds every night at Meet Market. He found a lot of humor in going around pinching peoples cheeks, playing peek a boo, and showing people Gary's beautiful artwork about ass fuzz and female mustaches.
