User:Arice
CTY on me as a child
Hi, CTY. This is Erica, or rather, Ari speaking from Japan. Maybe nobody will see this page, but here goes.
It might sound like something so many users have said before, but CTY has impacted me from before my horrible memory can remember. Which of course, is short, but it feels like forever since I was first sitting at my wooden table, the smooth and cold surface doing nothing to reassure my nerves as I took the test. Of course, I passed, and in that moment I felt only relief, simply considering it as another test passed, another score recieved. But oh, I quite literally COULD not have been more wrong.
In my first year, I took a Honors Mathematics course and a Young Historians course. Sadly my memory, as usual, lovingly decided to forget about the names and topics. I do remember, however, sitting with my father, on the floor, talking for hours, from morning to midnight about anything i learnt in class, and expanding on it using his knowledge. I also remember taking the Honors Maths post-test and getting an A+, at 3 am in the morning, in my pajamas, sweating from pure stress as I hug my father, who had come home from work just for this. That night was spent smiling with him till he left early in the morning. Less than 24 hours later, my mother got the news he had passed.
From then on, I don't remember much of CTY. The next mention was from my mother, in winter, months after the last test, where she turned to me in the hallway of our apartment as we waited for the elevator, and said, looking down, something along the lines that if I wanted, she could sign me up for a On-Campus Course that my father had paid for before he passed.
Of course, I agreed. How could I reject a gift from one of the only people who understood me? School passed in a blur of focusing, breaking down, trying to get up, and barely doing so. I only felt the weight on me even more as I trudged to the admissions area, seeing every smile around me fake, unknowing, or forced. I stood in the corner while my mother and the counselor glanced at me, their eyes piercing, unraveling. Before I knew it, I was in my room with my roommate, silent.
From there, my memory blanks quite a lot, but even now, I remember the laughter, when me and my class, my friends, chased each other, throwing a frisbee in a grassy patch outside of my Marine Ecology class. I remember forgetting that I existed out of LMU, out of CTY, and just...existing. Simply existing. And that was the happiest I had ever been as far as I can remember. We caused chaos and trouble everywhere we went, we crashed into people and never glanced back, chased each other with empty threats, then rolling on the floor, clutching our stomachs as we cried with tears of happiness. That came to an end all too fast, and I know, that I was sad. It couldn't be over yet...could it? But it was. And I went back to my life, a broken body full of jagged glass shards, hurting each time I moved.
4:50 A.M. JST, as of right now, ill continue it later.
Relationships, and me being an idiot
Well, I NEVER expected to say this, but as of now, Friday, Aug 22, 4:52 AM, I'm in a relationship with a guy from CTY. Well, not any guy. I guess I should say a guy named Finn, who my friends know as the Gaping Mouth guy. (i pointed him out to them as he yawned) ANYWAYS, wow. I met him at an activity, Flower making, which turned to Flag making. I was pissed cuz I hadn't chosen that at ALL. Like no. I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE MAFIA YOU-. anyways, i went and was my introverted self again. Then he and another girl come up, things lead to things, we exchange gmails (I know right, GMAILS- IN 2025, GMAILS. MY GOD.)
We become good friends, and I go to lunches and to the dance with him. Soon, I start to doodle on his hands, meeting up with him, putting my head on his shoulder and lap, and so on and so forth. Anyways by the third week I'm deeply attached. Like, holding hands, not letting go, finding him wherever kind of attached. His friends know me simply cuz I hold onto him so much. And well...camp ends, and i cry, so, so much. I can proudly say I ran all the way from my dorm to merge with another hall simply so i could hug him at lunch, and say goodbye. Thankfully our friend group reunited there one last time, and we separated ways in AMR 1 cuz the girls hall left without me *cough*. And a day later, memories lead to talks, and leads to a confession. A DAY AFTER CAMP. We are dating though so thats good but...
MORAL OF THE STORY, CHIN UP, BE CONFIDENT, AND KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE A GODDAMN CRUSH. CUZ I REGRET NOT KNOWING. AND ALSO CONFESS IN TIME PLEASE, Y'ALL AINT GON MEET ANYWAYS, NOTHING CAN BE LOST.
Courses
2021-22 Winter- CTY Online, Honors Grade 6 Mathematics
2021-22 Winter- CTY Online, The Young Historians - Continents: Europe and the Americas
2022 LMU S2- Marine Ecology
2023 LMU S2- Introduction to the Biomedical Sciences
2024 Ursinus S2- Anatomy and Physiology
2025 JHU S2- The Global Environment- Shoutout to my chill TA Colin, unhinged class, slightly questionable friends, and my returning dormmates: Nora, Alex, Graey. Mo, Hawon, you will always be our smart and smarter, and then there's them. My seven, Gavin, Eli, Matvei, Derek, Johannes, Ellie, and lastly, and on all the stars above, the most, Finn.
