User:GreatandMightyBesst
The Greater Besst (besstus magnus): A land-dwelling mammal of uncertain evolutionary origin.
Markings: Very long hair and marked shortness in stature, despite the name. The Greater Besst is not a misnomer, as there is no Lower Besst, so this one is Greater by default.
Calls: The Besst has many calls, including a high-pitched shriek, a hyperventative giggle, and the occasional fervent exclamation of "Ni!" As indicated by the previous punctuation, the Besst gets along well with bunnies.
Social Behavior: The Besst's social behavior is erratic and unpredictable, but she seems most comfortable when in the company of the Cult of Godzilla. Biologists conclude that these are close genetic relatives of hers.
Migratory Patterns: The Besst travels frequently back and forth between The House of the Madre and The House of the Padre, but her most drastic migration is a brief trip to a magical place called CTY for three weeks each summer. (NoT: It's a magical liopleurodon!) That last clause no longer makes sense, as the Besst is now a no-more, and her most drastic migration was to Toronto, where she lives now when she isn't at The House of the Padre or The New House of the Madre (which is in Connecticut) for Christmas and summer.
Habitat: The Besst seems equally at home in the peaceful Virginia suburbs and the vibrant wilds of Toronto. She was at home in the vibrant wilds of CTY, but she's too old and doesn't qualify for RA-ness now, so CTY is but a memory. But she has the Cult, which makes it a lot easier to remember. She also seems adaptable to most climates, although she becomes irritable if introduced to extreme cold. When introduced to extreme heat, the Besst behaves in an inverse manner from the lobster, turning a vitriolic shade of blue. We discourage readers from experimenting with immersing the Besst in boiling water, as her warranty will expire as a result.
The Besst points out that her brother John wrote those last two sentences, but they're not entirely inaccurate. The Besst's diet is largely made up of blue slurpees in the summertime.
The Besst is an intelligent animal and gets along well with others, but efforts to train her have yielded limited success. She is best (and Besst) left to approach the world in her own way.
