Beginning Ancient Greek

Beginning Ancient Greek

Humanities Course
Course Code	GRK1
Years Of Operation	1980-2016
Sites Offered	CAR, LAN, STM

Course Description

Greek I includes an overview of the Greek language, including basic grammar and literature. It is the best god damn class in the world pop off nerds.

Class History

Things you learn:

• The circle of the hero
• "Always this is true"
• Declensions
• "Four ways to say 'ho"
• Conjugation
• "To come continually in the past"
• A little history
• "Suicide"
• Some mythology
• "It's all about the incest"
• The Odyssey
• The Iliad
• "Helen is a shameless whore"
• Meter
• "Teenybopper Disco Queen Dactyllic Hexameter"
• The first ten lines of the Odyssey in Greek
• The first 10-12 lines of the Iliad in Greek
• "Nepios"
• Philosophy
• "Is there a form for a spork...?"
• Art
• "karls corner"
• Sequence of moods/tenses
• "Homer will destroy your soul."
• All about Paris's effeminate yearnings.
• "OMEGA MU GAMMA" (omg).
• That by charting the travels of Oddyseus as literally as the text will allow, one can pinpoint the entrance to the underworld somewhere on the eastern coast of Spain.
• Achilles is a whiny emo brat
• Gorgias is sexy/"Love is not always convenient"
• That it is as of yet unknown just how the Zeus-swan event occured--was it transformation? An elaborate costume? Temporary disillusions on the part of the girl? Immaculate conception? Nobody knows.
• That Joe Groves has some strange teaching positions--under a chair, on top of a table, etc....
• μπανάναι is love.
• Context often helps to determine meaning
• Socrates corrupted the youth
• How to become an incredibly good Ancient Greek farmer
• "Hippocleides doesn't care!"
• 300 is a lie
• And more...

Students of Greek 2 sometimes refer to Greek 1 students as Greeklings, a portmanteau of Greek and weakling.

This space was formerly the site of some rampant propaganda organized by Greek 2 members. All that those against whom they spoke would say: ὁ Ὃμερος τὰς ψυχὰς ὑμετέρας λύσει.

In LAN.07.1, Greek II waged a war against Greek I. The two Greek classes eventually united to battle the Latin I class, but suffered a humiliating defeat. Members of the Greek classes complain that the Latin class took things much too seriously.

Notable Instructors

Sean Lake

Sean "King of Translation" Lake is the most reputed Greek instructor. Sean has some strange habits, and can even seem intimidating. He has supposedly caused some students to lose faith entirely in heterosexual males. He is generally considered the best Greek teacher (with others including Robert Fagles, Danielle LaLonde, and Jon Strang) as well as one of the best instructors in the CTY program overall.

Jon Strang

In 05.1, Greek 1 was taught by Jon Strang at St. Mary's. The class composed a song entitled "Baby Got Greek," which parodied "Baby Got Back." The song was performed at the talent show and at the session's closing ceremony and became a symbol for STM.05.1.

Jon Strang also taught Greek 1 at CAR.06.1. The class filmed a rendition of The Odyssey in a style similar to Starcrash and also translated the Homestarrunner "Trogdor!" song into Greek. The class also played a game of Kill Odysseus/Save Odysseus in which Odysseus was changed into a second declension neuter noun ("and therefore cannot be killed!") and Jon and Joseph McCarthy escaped from a prison and made Odysseus's head explode with "three trillion" Attic readings.

Joe Groves

Joe is an amazing teacher, who likes teaching in every position, from sitting on the air conditioner to crouching behind desks,to sitting on top of desks flipped over sideways. He also made any reference to the movie "300" taboo during LAN.13.1 after the class couldn't stop asking questions about the movie. (Hint: everything in 300 is a lie). Also prepare for lots of Star Trek references that you will not get 9 times out of 10. His example grammar sentences usually end up with Kermit the Frog brutally killing people. Any mention of a cow in Ancient Greek class will not get you weird looks, simply because that is what most of the class is centered around anyway. Seriously though, Joe is an amazing teacher who really knows what he's talking about, and teaches the class in a fun way. And also, never call him Dr. Groves. He hates it.

During LAN.13.1, his TA was Jacqueline, who was also amazing and brought Starbursts to Study Hall once, and allowed the class to lie on bean bags (and each other) while reading Herodotus.

During LAN.13.2, his TA was David, who is amazing and quite helpful. David is mainly a Latin guy, but he knows so much about Greek and he made many jokes with Joe that the class doesn't understand. He also happens to be a good rugby player, and taught a few girls and guys from Ancient Greek and other classes how to pass the ball. Joe and David also happened to suffer from an immeasurable amount of hairline jokes from anyone in the class who happened to be from Maryland, and when the rest of the class picked up on it, they suffered even more. The students of LAN.13.2 would like to say sorry.