Difference between revisions of "Cult of Godzilla"

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Michelle
 
Michelle
 
* Emily's sister
 
* Emily's sister
 +
* Choo-Choo Shoe
  
 
[[User:Rae Spasmodic|Rachel H.]]
 
[[User:Rae Spasmodic|Rachel H.]]
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==Rituals==
 
==Rituals==
  
At every meal, a potato sacrifice would take place in honor of Godzilla, Zeus, or the person of your choice (depending on which meal it was).  All the cult members would give a small piece of their food (usually potatoes, obviously, as they are served at every single meal and made out of people) to the High Priestess (Kathleen) or the stand-in High Priestess (NoT), who has been doing more standing-in since Killer hasn't been contacting the cult in supermonths.  She would then take a knife, invoke the lord Godzilla, possibly make a wish, and then stab the sacrifice.
+
At every meal, a potato sacrifice would take place in honor of Godzilla, Zeus, or the deity of your choice (depending on which meal it was).  All the cult members would give a small piece of their food (usually potatoes, obviously, as they are served at every single meal and made out of people) to the High Priestess (Kathleen) or the stand-in High Priestess (NoT), who has been doing more standing-in since Killer hasn't been contacting the cult in supermonths.  She would then take a knife, invoke the lord Godzilla, possibly make a wish, and then stab the sacrifice.
  
 
The greatest enemy of Godzilla is King Kong.  To say anything good about King Kong is BLASPHEMY!!
 
The greatest enemy of Godzilla is King Kong.  To say anything good about King Kong is BLASPHEMY!!
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===Doing Things At Home===
 
===Doing Things At Home===
  
The members of the Cult are notorious for committing senseless acts of... um... disgustingness?... in public that they normally would not do at home.  This stems from a remark by [[Betty the Cardswiper]] as the members of the Cult performed a sacrifice after Passionfruit on the second Sunday of the session.  Witnessing High Priestness Kathleen offer to Godzilla a sacrifice of ketchup, chocolate milk and napkins, she stamped up in her Betty-ish way and demanded, "Young lady, would you play with your food at home?  Then why do it in public?" T his has become something of the Cult's official mantra, applied to various other real-life situations.  For instance: "Rachel, do you walk down the street at home?  Then why do it in public?"
+
The members of the Cult are notorious for committing senseless acts of... um... disgustingness?... in public that they normally would not do at home.  This stems from a remark by [[Betty the Cardswiper]] as the members of the Cult performed a sacrifice after Passionfruit on the second Sunday of the session.  Witnessing High Priestness Kathleen offer to Godzilla a sacrifice of ketchup, chocolate milk and napkins, she stamped up in her Betty-ish way and demanded, "Young lady, would you play with your food at home?  Then why do it in public?" This has become something of the Cult's official mantra, applied to various other real-life situations.  For instance: "Rachel, do you walk down the street at home?  Then why do it in public?"
  
 
===Reunions===
 
===Reunions===
 
   
 
   
Once every few months, the cult holds a reunion in which as many cultists as possible try to attend.  It is at a different person's house every time.  So far, reunions have been held at the houses of Supie, Hat Man, Bob, and ToryandBess.  Mini-reunions (defined as reunions with fewer than five cultists) have also been held at the houses of Thing 2 and Supie.
+
Once every few months, the cult holds a reunion in which as many cultists as possible try to attend.  It is at a different person's house every time.  So far, reunions have been held at the houses of Reggie, Paul, Sharon, ToryandBess, David, and Tigg.  Mini-reunions (defined as reunions with fewer than five cultists) have also been held at the houses of Thing 2 and Supie.
  
 
==Email Traditions==
 
==Email Traditions==

Revision as of 12:40, 17 August 2008

Userbar based off of this image.

This is the Cult of Godzilla!

In Carlisle, Session 1, 2006, a cult was formed. This cult was called the Cult of Godzilla. The origin of the cult was as such:

One day in Ancient Greek class, an example was given to be translated into English. It was:

"The mistresses sacrifice the maidservants to Godzilla."

The cult was formed by the name, and the friends of the original members of the cult were inducted.

Members

Members: A list of all members of CuoGo, with nicknames. If I missed you, or a nickname, just edit it in.

Danny Martin

  • Yo Yo Man
  • Yo Yo Ma
  • String Dude

Sarah Goldberg

  • Tigg(Many adjectives were added to this, such as The One and Only Almighty Tigg)
  • Girl-With-A-Crown
  • Our Lord and Master
  • Emo Poestriess
  • TiggSayFwa
  • Sazah
  • Tiggy Stardust
  • Fluffy
  • TiggyBoo

Olivia Li :)

  • NoT
  • Namer of Things
  • Minion Gamma
  • AT (Asker of Things)
  • CoB (Caller of Blasphemy)
  • AL (Abbreviation Lady)
  •  !
  • Liviao Il
  • SaD ([bringer of] Sharpies and Duct tape)
  • DeH (DisEmbodied Head)
  • Sillyvao
  • Sillyvao Plath
  • the-totally-more-awesome-than-the-not-as-awesome-half-of-SNoT
  • RavioLi
  • Lasagna
  • The player 42 spaces to my *looks left* *lookes right* right.
  • Sharkbait
  • Cadence
  • Olivious
  • Olibia

Emily E.

  • Thing Two
  • Thing Too
  • Thing Also
  • Turtle
  • Puppy
  • Clone
  • Turkle
  • Stranger
  • Thing 2
  • Other Emily
  • Emily with a "y"
  • Thing t00w
  • EMMA
  • Tuzkle
  • Emmy
  • Berg
  • Who
  • Oblivious
  • Ylime/Y-Lime
  • Switzerland
  • Cheeseforshort
  • Cheesecakeforshort
  • Cheese (this really is for short :P)
  • Cheeseberger (sic)
  • Emloy (its typotastic)
  • Q
  • Thingymajigger

Reggie V.

  • Veggie
  • Vegetable
  • Regetable
  • Reggie the Wedgie Veggie Weasel of DOOOOOOOM a.k.a. the Spawn of the Jewish Satan
  • Reggie the Wedgie Veggie Weasel of DOOOOOOOM
  • Spawn of the Jewish Satan
  • Fred
  • Wet Wedgie
  • Pimp Reggie
  • The Beta Female
  • Freggie
  • Edward
  • Veg
  • The Duct Tape Prince of the Beatnik Vegetable Hippies
  • Stallion
  • Supie (alternate spellings: Soupy, Supi, SooP)
  • The Guy With The Hair
  • Reginald (Although this is Reggie's real name, his real name is thought of as Reggie, so as only a few people use Reginald, and just as a joke, it's a nickname.)
  • Regina (drag day name)
  • Short Kid
  • Emily's Boyfriend
  • Satan's Abortion
  • Foofy
  • Foofy Hair Guy
  • The Dude of Many Names
  • Nald
  • Blue
  • Bloo
  • Emo Poestry
  • Superman
  • He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
  • Zeggie
  • Monocle Man
  • Mo (shortened version of the above)
  • MnM (alternate shortened version of the above of the above)
  • Wanton Ginger Nob
  • Supe, Supiste, Supo, Supimos, Supisteis, or Supieron
  • Tupperware
  • China
  • Bill Gates
  • Wonton Soup
  • s00pid
  • Sarah
  • Veginald
  • Uber-Jew
  • Tomato Head
  • The Great and Powerful Vegetable
  • His Crunchiness

(Supie is pronounced thusly: (soo-pee) while touching one's right ear to one's right shoulder. All other names are pronounced how they look.)

Reggie's kitty

  • Mini-Mo
  • Medi-Mo
  • Mo

(Just 'cause it was decided on by (part of) the cult)

Sarah Rogers

  • SaraR
  • Zim
  • SazaZ

Bess

  • Señorita Sacapuntas
  • Besst
  • The Great and Mighty Besst (The words quote Great and Mighty unquote can be substituted with any adjectives that describe the Besst)
  • Sonata (Wasn't really used, but oh well.)
  • Dodo
  • Bessy-Boo
  • Bessamy
  • Besstina
  • Hebesstia
  • Bessany
  • Besstany
  • doorBesst
  • Bass
  • Cracking Up
  • Siress
  • Bessemist
  • Fairy George
  • DingDong. Who's There? BESST!

Tory

  • Gecko
  • Archibald's Mommy
  • Troy
  • Terrible Torible
  • Tozy
  • Torazord
  • ConservaTory
  • HallucinaTory
  • Tormouse
  • Torgy

ToryandBess

  • Combined, the Twins
  • The Great and Mighty Besst and Terrible Torible
  • TuBerculosis (TB for short)

Paul Kim

  • Innapropriate Man
  • Paul the Pervert
  • Pervert Paul
  • Honorary Dirty Old Man
  • The Man in the Hat
  • Paulus

Sharon

  • Almighty Bob (said with hands folded on top of your head)
  • I Believe I Can Fly! (sung, leaning back with arms outstretched)
  • Lurye the Allurying
  • Grassy Knoll
  • Luzye the Alluzying
  • Shazon
  • Shron
  • Mega-Shroom
  • not-as-awesome-half-of-SNoT
  • Stan
  • I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way *insert sound effect here*
  • Your MOM is a pronoun!
  • -gesture-

Carina

  • Bryophite
  • Loopy

Rachel

  • Euripedes Pants Eumenides Pants

Kathleen

  • Killer
  • The High Priestess

Molly

  • Eskimo (as decided by Besst)
  • M&M

Allie

  • Allie the Neko
  • Alliegator
  • Neko
  • Allie-moose

Michelle

  • Emily's sister
  • Choo-Choo Shoe

Rachel H.

  • RachelfromDos
  • Rae (but only Reggie and Tigg are allowed to call her that EVER)
  • The Mad Hatter
  • Goldfish
  • Pookie
  • Revenge
  • Minion Beta (when the Minion statuses were re-shuffled)
  • Second in Command to the Almighty Tigg

Lorenzo

  • Lazlo
  • Akvo
  • "I'm a half-werewolf! GET IT RIGHT!"

Martín

  • Sugarlips
  • SweetCheeks
  • Nitro
  • Carp
  • Fishass
  • Marteen the Been
  • The Hallucination Formerly Known As 'It'
  • It

Niharika R.

  • Nikki

David

  • David
  • The artist formerly known as David
  • Minion Epsilon

Group Names

  • ToryandBess (Tory and Bess)
  • SupieandThing2 (Reggie and Emily)
  • SNoT (Sharon and NoT)
  • BleuCheese (Reggie [Blue] and Emily [Cheeseforshort])
  • The Lesbian Lubba (Besst and Sharon, who play Joanne and Maureen in Rent)
  • BobFish (Sharon and RachelfromDos)
  • GoldBess (RachelfromDos and Besst)

There were also several hangers-on to the cult, including Jon "Hi!" Heider, who, along with Reginald, had to fight off the attentions of one Orange Girl, and Kristian, who I feel deserves a mention if only because Paul used his hat to do dirty, dirty things.

There was also Taylor, a Hawaiian lad who was friends with Danny and brought actual passionfruit juice to the Passionfruit.

There was also Danielle, the Besst's roommate who hung about on occasion. She had an unhealthy relationship with acorns and spazzed out at random intervals. And she has no email address, which makes the Besst sad.

There was also Nick, commonly known as Frenchie, or Ick, or Minion Lambda. And he was kind of a cult member. Currently, though, Danny has stolen his Lambda sign.

Lorenzo joined happily after an E-mail to Tigg begging her to let him join. She was heard to reply, "Uhm... if you want to?"

Rituals

At every meal, a potato sacrifice would take place in honor of Godzilla, Zeus, or the deity of your choice (depending on which meal it was). All the cult members would give a small piece of their food (usually potatoes, obviously, as they are served at every single meal and made out of people) to the High Priestess (Kathleen) or the stand-in High Priestess (NoT), who has been doing more standing-in since Killer hasn't been contacting the cult in supermonths. She would then take a knife, invoke the lord Godzilla, possibly make a wish, and then stab the sacrifice.

The greatest enemy of Godzilla is King Kong. To say anything good about King Kong is BLASPHEMY!!

The Game

This set of Game rules has replaced the oversimplified set of rules for Carlisle on the The Game page. It has been decided by The Cult that thunder occurs when Godzilla loses the game.

Kill Murray/Save Murray

This section has been given its own page at Kill Murray/Save Murray

One Card Milard

One Card Milard is a card game that hit it big among Carlisle kids in Sessions 1 and 2 of 2006. Similar in rules to Mao and Crazy 8's, this game involves loud, obnoxious, head-turning chants and cult-like followers.

There are three rules that I might explain:

  1. You cannot discuss the rules.
  2. There is no rule number 2.
  3. You cannot get frustrated with the rules. (But you probably will)

To learn more, play the game with the Cult.

Silent Football

Silent Football is merely linked to because the Cult hasn't added its own rules to it, so there's no need to describe it. See Silent Football.

Giving Reggie Nicknames

As you can see from the above, this sport has gone on for a long time. If the Cult got bored, or some strange/amusing occurrence occurred, Reggie would probably get a nickname. This has even given him a nickname, The Dude of Many Names. This occurrence also stems from Reggie's tendency to accept any nicknames bestowed upon him by his peers.

Doing Things At Home

The members of the Cult are notorious for committing senseless acts of... um... disgustingness?... in public that they normally would not do at home. This stems from a remark by Betty the Cardswiper as the members of the Cult performed a sacrifice after Passionfruit on the second Sunday of the session. Witnessing High Priestness Kathleen offer to Godzilla a sacrifice of ketchup, chocolate milk and napkins, she stamped up in her Betty-ish way and demanded, "Young lady, would you play with your food at home? Then why do it in public?" This has become something of the Cult's official mantra, applied to various other real-life situations. For instance: "Rachel, do you walk down the street at home? Then why do it in public?"

Reunions

Once every few months, the cult holds a reunion in which as many cultists as possible try to attend. It is at a different person's house every time. So far, reunions have been held at the houses of Reggie, Paul, Sharon, ToryandBess, David, and Tigg. Mini-reunions (defined as reunions with fewer than five cultists) have also been held at the houses of Thing 2 and Supie.

Email Traditions

This section was started by Supie because he had nothing better to do.

Soon after first session of CTY ended, our own Man in the Hat started an email list for the Cult so everyone in the cult would be informed as to everything that was going on with everyone at any given moment in time. As it so happens, many recurring themes have occurred and recurred in the emails, which could amount to as many as five hundred over the course of a weekend. Inappropriate Man's inbox received new emails to eighty threads in the span of a week. Cultists are very loving.

Signatures

This particular tradition was started by The Almighty Bob and then furthered along its traditional path in life by Supie and the Great and Mighty Besst. The tradition of the signature involves putting a random phrase, a witty comment, a relevant statement, or an amusing anecdotal fact after one's name. Besst, usually, instead of putting things after her name, uses a new set of adjectives in her name. What follows are some examples from each of the upholders of the tradition.

  • --Sharon (Lois Lane's spellchecker)
  • --Sharon (don't forget all the apostles!)
  • --Sharon (diamonds are a girl's best friend)
  • --Sharon (in Soviet Russia, signature is put at the end of YOU!!)
  • Loves, The Poetic Besst
  • Loves, The Philosophically Minded Besst
  • Loves, The More Fun Besst
  • Loves, The Sherlock Holmesy Besst (elementary, Watson!)
  • ~Reggie (emperor of the ¼th circle of the universe)
  • ~Reggie (he jumped over some of my busses)
  • ~Reggie (antishopping spree!!!)
  • ~Reggie (who really needs to find socks)

Quotes and Parentheses

This tradition was originally funded solely by ! before being adopted by the majority of the rest of the members of the cult. This tradition was started when ! decided to use a great deal of parentheses () and brackets [] in her typing, to the point of convolution. A few of the members of the cult were quick to catch on to this fad, and for a time, almost every active member was using these excessively.

Supie, who is(not a stalker[not NoT, a stalker(i dont equal NoT and i dont equal a stalker)Reggie, anti-stalker]of emily[thing 2(thing also[some other name that i can not remember(not Not, remember[i am in a state of disrememberingnessnicity as to the other nicknames, if they exist, of Emily])])])

After getting everyone hooked on the use of these handy dandy grammatical tools, ! hatched another plan, which sought to take out the need for the actual symbols when words can be used instead. so instead of using the symbols ( and [, the words parenthesis and bracket were used. (NoT spells the former word parentheses instead of parenthesis) and replaced the symbols ) and ] with the words unparenthesis and unbracket. in addition to this, NoT also did away with the "" signs as, a la Silent Football, they were in reference to bunnies and not actual quotation devices. She implemented the words quote and unquote to replace these most confusing symbols. NoT also began to use words in place of formatting; for example quote Your mom's italics face un-italics is stupid! unquote. However, this didn't really catch on with the rest of the cult, although NoT herself continues this tradition consistently.

...I guess urban dictionaries aren't really quote the Man unquote, are they?

HTML and JAVA

This tradition was instituted by NoT and Thing Also, with the former using HTML and the latter using JAVA in order to make the emails more quote fun unquote. Thing Also is the only one out of all of us who know JAVA, but HTML code, at least how it is done in the emails, is done like this:

TiggSay<bunnyquote>Fwa</bunnyquote> agrees with...

using the < and > signs to encompass the action desired before the word and < and > after the word again containing the same action but with an additional / before the word, signifying an ending.

As of late, Tiggy Stardust has done away with the starting action word, assuming that it is known by all cult members, and/or can be derived from the closing action word.

Odd High Fiving

Many a time in the emails, someone will want to high five. This started when Bess(?) once said: *Attempts high five and misses*. This is usually followed by the missed highfive-ee to respond with, "Attempts high five and also misses* Although variations are used, this is rare, and the format is usually followed. It has since been decided that not only is missing when attempting to high five desirable, but it is actually BLASPHEMOUS to Godzilla himself when high fives connect.

Mango Pie

Many a time in the emails, someone will leave the computer for a few hours or days and upon return, they find a long thread of emails in which they want to comment to many of the individual emails. Due to the fact that this is quite cumbersome to the comment-ee and to the commented because they need to type out the comments and the readers need to look at all the emails for reference, the phrase quote Mango Pie unquote has been adopted as a catch-all for commenting on emails when it is either cumbersome or otherwise inopportune to say the whole thing. This was also started by the Besst, and the Mango Pie will hopefully be made at the house of Paul sometime in the next 5.8 months.

Word-Off

One day, Supie, in his third-person-arifficness, said to E-Lime quote Reggie should compile a list of words that are pleasing in the ears of Godzilla... and engage them in pitched combat against one another in a one-on-one fight to the quote death unquote umquote (umquote sounds funny. i just like saying it.) unquote, more or less, to which E-Lime failed to respond because it was one in the morning, and she was very tired. Thus, the Word-off was spawned.

The word-off consists of(comprises), late at night, an email that comes from Supie himself, who is the keeper of the list-of-funny-words, who proposes two words in big bold letters, and prompts the cult to vote for which one they like better. A decision must be made by a majority vote, and at least five cult members have to vote for it to count. Generally, rounds last for 24 hours, but if there is a tie, or there are not enough people voting, it will go on for longer.

Supie has chosen to vote only to break up ties in the quarter and semifinals, and act as an active voter in the three-quarterfinals and finals.

A second list of 128 words has been compiled, as to prolong the life of this tradition.

A third list of (2^n) words is being compiled, because there are just so many cool/funny/awexome words out thar.

Once the first tournament is done, Supie shall make up a grid and post it here. Once supie gets off his lazy bum and makes a grid, he shall post it here.

Replacement of Letters

Sometime in between the last day of CTY 06 and the present, besst and supie decided that the word quote huzzah unquote was infinitely better than the word quote hurrah unquote. By this logic, they surmised that the letter quote z unquote pwned the letter quote r unquote. Thus the letter replacement was started. Soon afterwards it was decided on that the letter quote c unquote was to be replaced with the letter quote k unquote and the letter quote m unquote would be replaced with the letter quote n unquote.

Example: Nany nany people in ny fanily tzee. Alnost evezybody looks exaktly like ne...

In another conversation, it was decided that the number zero was better than, and should replace the letter quote o unquote, because the word quote w00t unquote pwns the word quote woot unquote. Whenever a word employed the long u sound, it is replaced with two zeros. In spelling out this word, one may say, for example, quote wh00t unquote, or perhaps quote whzerozerot unquote.

Examples: d00d, b0b, m00t,

The examples of letter-to-letter replacement have died down considerably since they were created, while the letter-to-number one is still in use today.

Kudos

When a cultist makes any kind of semi-obscure reference, he or she usually awards an unspecified amount of kudos to those who can correctly identify the reference. Those who understand and are awarded the kudos get to eat said kudos. They usually announce this.

Meese

One day, Thing 2, in her obsession with meese and her boredom with the English language as it stands, decided that instead of saying quote *is amused* unquote, she would say quote *is a moose* unquote. The other cult members were pleased by this, and soon began doing so themselves. This tradition became common very quickly, and several versions have been used, almost completely replacing the word quote amused unquote in online conversation.

Words of NoT

It is sometimes pleasing to the cult, mostly NoT, to insert NoT's nickname into words that have a similar pattern of letters when they are referring to NoT. The most common example of this is the word plaNoTic, while such words also include idiNoT and forgNoTten.

NoT's Stoopid Tales

Here they are, since I'm just that bored right now. A record of stoopidity.

Involving Paul, Reggie, and Reggie's Ceiling

Once upon a time, Paul went to Reggie's house and got hit on the head. And he lived ouchily ever after. The End.

Involving Paul, Reggie, and Reggie's Ceiling, v.2

Once upon a time, Paul went to Reggie's house. So did a thing and a bob and a molly, but they're not in the story. Then, Paul was going down to Reggie's room, and he jumped up and hitted his noggin. Then Reggie did the same thing, stoopidsilly as he is. And they both live ouchily ever after, but Paul more ouchily than Reggie, 'cause he hitted his head harder, and whenever you touch his placewherehebumpedhishead, it swells plus hurts, while you have to poke Reggie's to make it hurt, and it only swells if you poke it with a hammer or an anvil or my superheavy backpack. The sortof end.

Involving Sharon and Her Tuberculosis

Once upon a time, Sharon voted for tuberculosis 'cause she said it was awesome. The next week, she got tuberculosis herself, and then she didn't think it was that great. But that's okay, since it lost the vote anyways. She felt very sick for six straight months. Then, on the six-month-and-first-day, her doctor found out that it was just a common cold that /felt/ like tuberculosis. Thankfully, though, having this strange coldtuberculosis had strengthened her immune system to the point where she would never ever get any teeny bit sick. She lived confusedly, but healthily, ever after. The end. But never again could she pretend to stay home sick so as to look at porn all day, like she used to. So that made her sad. The really end.

Involving Sharon's Request for a Stoopid Story

Once upon a time, the ickier part of SNoT asked the awesomer part of SNoT to write her a story with a happy ending. So, the awesomer part of SNoT, being gracious and wonderfulistic, decided to grant her former roommate her wish. It went like this: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sharon. She went to nerd camp and got awesomecool friends. This made her happy. She lived friendifully ever after. The end. The ickier part of SNoT was happy with this story, because it gave her friends. The end.

Involving Emily's Indecision Between Lancaster and Carlisle

Once upon a time, there was a dance during first session oh-sicks at Carlisle. And it was themed of the monster. And there was a big tombstone on the stage of the Ay-Tee-Ess that said quote RIP Lancaster unquote. And NoT was standing right next to the Jefferey, which is how she heard and saw him go NOOOOOOO! What is this world coming to <--insert interrobang here. And he got on his knees and wept falsebutreal tears with his head bent. And for the rest of the dance whenever NoT attracted Emily's attention she would point to it, and the Thing would invoke the Gah! But then she went to Lancaster and found that it was indeed not as wonderful as Carlisle, because their new rules sucked moose. And she decided that her Carlilian friends were right, after all, in saying that Carlisle beats Lancaster. And she knew she stood corrected in her position in the Carlisle versus Lancaster debate, and told this to NoT over the phone of cells. Because home is where the heart is, and her boyfriend the SoupE was at Carlisle second session. So she was sad. But then she left Lancaster, and later saw the E of Soup, and was happy. And so she lived standing-correctedly ever after. The end.

Involving Sharon's Second Request for a Stoopid Story

Once upon a time, the-not-as-awesome-half-of-SNoT said that the-totally-more-awesome-than-the-not-as-awesome-half-of-SNoT should make more st00pid stories. But she spelled stoopid wrong, because stoopid has not any zeroes. And anyways, NoT also known as the-totally-more-awesome-than-the-not-as-awesome-half-of-SNoT had to go eat dinner. So she shouted quote AHLL BE BAHK unquote in an atrocious accent, and scampered (yes, scampered) off to eat a yummifuller dinner than you. And the rest of the cult lived deprived-of-more-stoopid-stories-ly ever after. The end.

Involving Thing 2 Stealing the Idea of a Stoopid Story

Once upon a time, someThing wrote a story. Instead of being a stoopid story, this was a st00pid story. Note the zerozero. NoT still was rather upsetted by the taking of the stoopid/st00pid story idea ness. Oh well. Too bad for her. And she lived mopily ever after. The end. And then she went back to writing her NaNo, which is the only story that really matters right now. The really end.

Involving Thing 2's Request for a Stoopid Story

Once upon a time, someThing made bigshinyeyes at NoT while NoT was trying not (not NoT) to procrastinate on writing four essays. But, since NoT is a very bad focuser and a very good procrastinator, she stopped trying not (not NoT) to procrastinate and started procrastinating. So she told a stoopid story, which went like this: quote Once upon a time, there was a NoT. This NoT was very good at procrastinating. And she hated writing essays. So she spent all of her time writing stoopid stories instead of writing essays. And she failed her finals, which are next week. And then she failed at school in general. And then she didn't go to college, because she thought college was a stoopid idea that shouldn't have been born'd, because it has a lot of competition, and for the first part of your life, you prepare for facing that competition to get into college, and then you prepare for facing more competition to get into grad school, and then you prepare for facing more competition to get a good job, and why can't people who like to write just write for the rest of their lives in peace, and not (not NoT) have to go to college, where things (not (not NoT) Things) are too (not (not NoT) Too) annoying to even care about anyways, if they don't want to be scientists like their parents, and grandparents, and uncles, and aunts, and all other Asians on the planet who aren't dumb, and why can't they just be left alone by the rest of the school world? And then she lived as a hobo, because if you don't go to college, you are destined to become a hobo that may or may not smell like elderberries. Even if you are the smart. And then she died in a cardboard box. And she lived deadily ever after. The end. unquote. Then, after telling the story, NoT saw what could become her future if she didn't return to writing the stoopid essays for her stoopid teachers who aren't good at teaching, only good at assigning too (not Too) many essays. And so, lest her future become hobo-y, she went -poof!- to go do her homework, right after she sent an email that talked about stoopid stories and her future. And she lived essayly ever after. The other end.

-NoT (Well, maybe she went -poof!- to go do her homework after answering the rest of her email...and drinking some orange juice...and lying facedown on the carpet for seven minutes. And she lived procrastinatingly ever after. The really end.)